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Rural=backwards, racist, intolerant, uneducated, bible thumpin' inbreds.
Yeah we done got no runnin water or indoor privy but I reckon we cook some good squirrel.
Tolerance doesn't mean that people have to like what they are tolerating
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Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
Rural doesn't necessarily mean hateful. With that said, you'd be better off to avoid areas that are extremely religious or fundamentalist Christian. ... Rural TN is going to be completely different than rural ME or CO.
The problem with a rural area is that trans people are rare and rural areas are sparsely populated as it is. It would simply be hard for the child to meet fellow trans people.
That's a good point -- all of Northern New England is not particularly religious, rural or otherwise, and I doubt anybody would say anything to a parent who is raising a young child as transgender, but just like anywhere else, they'd certainly be thinking something judgmental about the parents.
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Originally Posted by nomadicmom
Really, I would be willing to move anywhere... I guess some additional factors is I would prefer not to move to a place where there are harsh winters. I like sun.
Okay, so the least religious semi-liberal states (MA/ME/VT) are out of the running
I know it's a completely different discussion, but...middle school aged? Sure it's not a phase or something? Kids get really screwy at that age and such, it can be a really confusing time for a kid at that age.
Rural=backwards, racist, intolerant, uneducated, bible thumpin' inbreds.
Yeah we done got no runnin water or indoor privy but I reckon we cook some good squirrel.
While not usually totally true, these stereotypes don't develop without some element of truth.
I am in extreme northeast TN. We are also part of the southeast KY media market, so we get Mitch McConnell ads right now. McConnell has two hayseed looking coal miners saying "Amy McGrath's ad was a lie!" and not much more. This ad doesn't even look authentic - it's a caricature of Appalachia. Most people here will find that ad of two stereotypical, snaggletooth coal miners (probably two actors who have never set foot in a mine) patronizing.
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Originally Posted by Nonesuch
That's a good point -- all of Northern New England is not particularly religious, rural or otherwise, and I doubt anybody would say anything to a parent who is raising a young child as transgender, but just like anywhere else, they'd certainly be thinking something judgmental about the parents.
My parents are Democrats, but they'd have had no idea how to approach the matter a couple decades ago when I was growing up. The only trans person I knew was a local insurance agent who was post-op back then. Even today, I can count the number of local trans people I know on basically one hand, two if I really go out into casual acquaintances.
Rural New England would be a lot more tolerant, but that doesn't mean it would be actually much more open beyond basic politeness.
I'm confused. Aren't you the parent? As the parent, it is your job to shape your child's identity and ground them in reality.
How do you equate gender dysphoria with race and religion?
What do you mean by "accepting"? If someone tells me that their boy child is a girl or vice versa, the charitable reaction is to assume that the person is making a joke (albeit an unfunny one). If it becomes obvious that the person is serious, then the charitable reaction is to smile and nod while cautiously backing away.
What if someone tells me that the sky is green. Should I accept that too?
Sad. I wanted to be a boy when I was a child. Thank goodness no one paid any attention to me!
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and beliefs regarding this issue and shouldn't be labeled or criticized for feeling a certain way. I think because children of middle school age go through so many changes and are still trying to discover who and what they are, we have to be careful not to push them in a direction that suits our personal agendas. This was not even a major issue a few years ago and now seems to be in the forefront of everything for whatever reason. Let us leave our children out of it and not sexualize them. Just let them be children and when they are young adults, they can make the decisions that are best for themselves.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and beliefs regarding this issue and shouldn't be labeled or criticized for feeling a certain way. I think because children of middle school age go through so many changes and are still trying to discover who and what they are, we have to be careful not to push them in a direction that suits our personal agendas. This was not even a major issue a few years ago and now seems to be in the forefront of everything for whatever reason. Let us leave our children out of it and not sexualize them. Just let them be children and when they are young adults, they can make the decisions that are best for themselves.
I agree with the general sentiment; there's some really questionable agendas involved (parents included).
I have an middle school aged child who recently came out as transgender. I am very liberal but love living in the country. Generally, I get along with people regardless of political views, however, I do not like my kids being raised around ppl who are not tolerant of other races, religions, etc. I am concerned about raising my transgender child in a place that would be accepting. People keep telling me to move to a city, but I love the country. Does anyone know of any more rural areas with schools with GSAs where families and students would be accepting and not treat my child as "other"? I am open to more suburban areas I guess if I can get a large plot of land for relatively cheap and there are horse stables, hiking trails, and lakes (or oceans) near by. Thanks!
Have you actually had issues with families and students about your child coming out in your rural area or are you projecting.
I live in a rural area and apparently according to my g son who is in High school and my brother, a SRO at another school in a different county, there are a few transgender students. To my knowledge no one mistreats them but you are never going to have 100% acceptance or tolerance.
I have an middle school aged child who recently came out as transgender. I am very liberal but love living in the country. Generally, I get along with people regardless of political views, however, I do not like my kids being raised around ppl who are not tolerant of other races, religions, etc. I am concerned about raising my transgender child in a place that would be accepting. People keep telling me to move to a city, but I love the country. Does anyone know of any more rural areas with schools with GSAs where families and students would be accepting and not treat my child as "other"? I am open to more suburban areas I guess if I can get a large plot of land for relatively cheap and there are horse stables, hiking trails, and lakes (or oceans) near by. Thanks!
There are rural areas where locals are insulated and not open to new ideas. The rural suburban area you mention would be a better bet, the suburbs will likely offer you a more tolerant group. How about the Washington or Oregon areas? Be careful though, some small rural towns won’t be as tolerant as others. The word gritty describes them pretty well. Other small towns like Issaquah or Maple Valley tend to have a more educated, affluent population and would be more tolerant of differences. Bend Oregon might be another place for you to look, or Oswego, but that’s expensive.
Liberal Vermont is another thought. In fact it’s probably cheaper than the PNW. Be wary of towns with a large blue collar population, they’re likely to be making ends meet from day to day and they won’t have a lot of time for strangers, especially those who are very different.
I lived in Texas and there were many large lots with horses and cheaper real estate than some parts of the country. The people are a mixed bag, I made friends with some great locals and it’s overall a pretty tolerant area, especially outside a large city. There are a few bible thumpers in parts of Texas, but I never met any.
Maybe outside a city like Atlanta, where real estate is reasonable, but you have a large metropolitan city close by.
Eugene, Oregon and vicinity would be a very good fit. Having a university in town skews us liberal. There are conservative small towns in Lane County, but overall, we're functionally blue. I speak as a member of the Family. Our resources for the Trans community and Trans youth are real and visible. It's not easy being trans anywhere. But finding community makes it do-able. https://www.eugene-or.gov/4247/LGBTQ-Services
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Tolerance doesn't mean that people have to like what they are tolerating
