need advice bad on a good middle school had bad experience last year

[scuba steve]

I saw it with my brother in middle school. He'd run away, kids keep bullying. Parents talked to the school teachers and administrators, it didn't matter. Parents moved him to another school, but he's still the kid that's easy to pick on. Finally at lunch he hit a kid back just once and got him in the lip. It all ended right there on the spot and they moved on to an easier target. And a good 10 kids or so saw the whole thing happen so he wasn't in trouble at all. This isn't one of those 'back in the day when gas cost a nickel' stories; he's class of 2002.

Kids are just like that - they're middle schoolers and will naturally pick on whoever is an easy mark. Sure, try going to teachers or people in charge at first. But there becomes a point where someone has to stand up on their own and teaching the kid when to quit running is an important lesson in life. Fighting back is that last resort.

[catriona]

Originally Posted by scuba steve

I saw it with my brother in middle school. He'd run away, kids keep bullying. Parents talked to the school teachers and administrators, it didn't matter. Parents moved him to another school, but he's still the kid that's easy to pick on. Finally at lunch he hit a kid back just once and got him in the lip. It all ended right there on the spot and they moved on to an easier target. And a good 10 kids or so saw the whole thing happen so he wasn't in trouble at all. This isn't one of those 'back in the day when gas cost a nickel' stories; he's class of 2002.

Kids are just like that - they're middle schoolers and will naturally pick on whoever is an easy mark. Sure, try going to teachers or people in charge at first. But there becomes a point where someone has to stand up on their own and teaching the kid when to quit running is an important lesson in life. Fighting back is that last resort.

I have to agree with scuba steve on this one. My son was bullied. As a mother, I never advocated my son fighting back. Unfortunately, the 'turn the other cheek' routine didn't work. The bullying only got worse, from a group of four or five so-called 'friends'. I called one parent of the kid, (the boys had know each other for years and had been good friends until the other boy decided to become a bully) and the parent talked to her son. BIG MISTAKE! The kids only became worse. My husband went to talk to an administrator, who thankfully, understood adolescent boys' behavior. It was agreed that my son had to stick up for himself. He would get in trouble, but the trouble he got in would be far less severe than the trouble the bully would get in. When the bully finally drew the 'straw that broke the camel's back', my son stood up for himself and shoved the kid up against the wall. He didn't have to hit him. I'm sure the pent up fury in my son's eyes was enough to scare this kid, because the bullying stopped. This wasn't at a public school, but at a private Christian school.

The scene in "A Christmas Story", where the Ralphie finally lets the bully have his due, is so true to life. There's usually a group of kid that thinks it is funny to watch another squirm. There's usually a head bully that never gets in trouble because he has his minions do the dirty work for him.

My husband was bullied. It stopped when he popped the kid in the mouth. His dad told him not to come home crying about being picked on, but to defend himself. He said he was afraid to do it, but he just couldn't take it any more. After the incident, the two became good friends. Go figure.

One thing that a current high school kid told me was that if your kid gets in with a group -- the band kids, for example -- then they have a group that will 'defend' the weaker kids. Sort of like a gang, but in a good sense.

I know kids these days could carry weapons, but back when I was in school, most boys carried pocket knives. Teach your son to stand up for himself, but also to 'know his enemy'.

I really do feel for the OP. I know the heart ache of seeing your 'little boy' have to go through this terribly difficult and painful event just in order to 'grow up.' They become stronger young men because of it, but they also loose their innocence in more ways than one.

[nikip]

I'm sorry I thought I meantioned my daughter is the one getting the bullying. I talked to the administration who seem to do nothing about it. I know that there is a no tolerance and that all kids are suppose to go to a school according to law where they are safe. You say fight back well I did tell her she would have too. She has made great grades never been in trouble and came from a school that was totally diverse. I am not trying to pull the race card but most of the girls at the school are hispanic and gang up on her for example they had about 12 girls that were going to jump her during a break it is hard to fight back with 12 girls. Therefore we want things to improve for not just our child but for all kids that are going thru this ordeal.

[SanAntoQT]

Middle school girls are the worst! At least with boys, you know what their intentions are upfront. Girls will pretend to be your friend, then do a sneak attack! It may be time to go to the superintendent, since you're getting no help from administration.

[aggie4ever01]

Someone had mentioned a science magnet/charter school at Bandera & 410 and wasn't sure about the exact location. I drove by it today and literally it is right on the corner at Bandera and 410 where Albertsons used to be.

[TxSpark]

Working in schools I can honestly say that parents need to know that while they may think teachers and administrators do nothing about bullying...you need to understand that often times school officials can NOT do anything because of due process requirements. It is easy for a parent not in the school-world to say that the school "does nothing". In reality, bullying is often times a very difficult thing to "prove". I hate to hear parents complain that school officials do nothing...maybe their hands are just legally tied and policies in place make it difficult for them to do anything. If the bullying is that bad, think about involving the police...file a complaint...have them write a report to document the incidents taking place. Avail yourself of your legal rights...teach your child to do the same. Fighting back might work when they are 12 or 13...but it won't work that easy when they are an adult and in the workplace.
The other sad reality is that often kids become learned victims and a cycle of getting abused by bullies sets in...so it doesn't matter what school you go to sometimes...deal with the issue and teach your child to deal with it rather than run. Bullies exist everywhere and in every school...

[aggie4ever01]

TxSpark is so right. As a teacher I can see where a parent might feel like complaints are falling on deaf ears and I can only speak on behalf of my experience at my campus. Often times the bullying is not occurring in plain sight. There is not a whole lot I can do personally if I do not witness the act. If a student comes to me and says that they are being bullied, they are encouraged to file an incident report everytime it happens. We have a very administration that investigates all reports even coming to us and asking if we have noticed anything.

Like I said, I can only speak on my experience, but I agree with TxSpark file reports, get as much documentation as possible

[CreekKnoll]

Originally Posted by aggie4ever01

Someone had mentioned a science magnet/charter school at Bandera & 410 and wasn't sure about the exact location. I drove by it today and literally it is right on the corner at Bandera and 410 where Albertsons used to be.

Actually, take a look at the charter school being built behind the Home Depot on 151 and 410. I believe the name of the school is Harmony Sceince Academy, and if I'm not mistaken, I could have sworn I received a letter in the mail stating that they work with you to get your kids in the school at no cost to you.

Harmony Schools

[fierce_flawless]

Some private schools have scholarships. It can't hurt to check it out.

As for charter schools, it all depends on what kind of atmosphere you're looking for. My kids have been @ the same one for years now and it's okay. There's a lot they could do to improve, but I don't have the confidence that they'd be better off at all at the neighborhood public school either.

Many of the charter schools are in-town more though so be prepared to drive drive drive!

Here's a list, alphabetically by Tx cities:

http://www.charterstexas.org/ct_schools/listed_city.php (broken link)

[srhami]

Originally Posted by nikip

I'm sorry I thought I meantioned my daughter is the one getting the bullying. I talked to the administration who seem to do nothing about it. I know that there is a no tolerance and that all kids are suppose to go to a school according to law where they are safe. You say fight back well I did tell her she would have too. She has made great grades never been in trouble and came from a school that was totally diverse. I am not trying to pull the race card but most of the girls at the school are hispanic and gang up on her for example they had about 12 girls that were going to jump her during a break it is hard to fight back with 12 girls. Therefore we want things to improve for not just our child but for all kids that are going thru this ordeal.

Yep, Yep....we were in the SAME boat. The girl that tormented my daughter was suspended but when she came back the bullying only got worse and soon others were harrasing my child. And it is a race thing....or more accurately a "tolerance thing". We're a military family and our child has always been in the minority but she was never treated like one until we moved here. Military kids are so much more open and tolerent of each other.

Anyhow, we homeschooled last year. This year she attends Harmony Science Academy near 410 and 151. It's a charter school with no tuition. What a difference!!!!! We really REALLY like this school. It's new, and there are still kinks that are being ironed out but we love it and our daughter seems to be blending in. It was rated Exemplary last year.

THE BEST PART: Kids that are suspended from this school are not invited back that following year.

There are a few kids at our church that attend Radiance Academy near 410 and Marbach and they have great things to say about it. It's also a charter so there's no tuition.