NJ to San Diego (Winters, Nice: for rent, mortgage, how much)

[virg1123]

Originally Posted by loveautumn

well, it definitely is something to consider in making a big move. As an older woman alone, it's going to take some effort to make new friends (and "friends" here are generally not like in the Midwest), although you seem like the type of person who would make friends easily.

If you go to the Retirement forum (even though I know you're not retiring) but there is an excellent thread on "women moving alone"...it's at the top of that forum and has some great discussions on women exactly in your situation. Check it out!

Thank you loveautumn, I will check that forum out...Yes I have great/wonderful friends here in Iowa..in my 16yrs here I never felt like an outsider, even coming here from NJ. Trust me not many outsiders here in this town.....if I could just handle the weather here but I can't any longer...I do have other choices, Nashville Tn, Charlotte NC..family in both but DANG IT my heart was set on SD....But I do listen to my dreams I always think they try to tell you something. But will check that forum out & Thank you so much...will keep you posted.....

[shmoov_groovzsd]

Originally Posted by ETADRAFT

We are getting more serious about it by the day. Its gaining momentum. I want to improve the ratio of work to live / live to work. I'm tired of the ratio leaning towards the live to work side. We don't want to live here anymore the "rat race" is not a life lived well. I see people i work with same age as me living so unhealthily and so stressed, some have already had heart problems. Most of my friends are already on high blood pressure medication. Is it worth it? Is this place so beautiful and full fulling in every other aspect that i would work like this to stay? HUGE NO! I work very hard and am willing to work hard, but I'd much rather do it in order to live and have adventures in a place i want to live. Not sure if San Diego is that place yet, but its a good place to start this adventure.

The momentum of these choices really started moving as i overheard a conversation of a few older people in the bank it went something like "hi how are you?" "ahh well OK i guess, a little older, cant walk so well anymore..." "yea i know its terrible isn't it. and this weather... awful!" 'i know well what can you do...?" This really struck me, i will not grow old and be miserable in the same place i started in life. The worst part is i've had this same convo with friends! NOT GOOD! I want my convo to go differently soon, ask me how i am and what i've been up to and i want to reply "great! i just climbed __ mountain, hikes the___national forest, learned to surf, explored ___! oh and the weather is perfect! work? oh yea i did some of that too."

Thanks for all the kind words on here its really inspiring!

ETADRAFT,

Doing what you do is brutal and something that can absolutely lead to burn out, no question. One of my former clients was in that position and had to travel everywhere to help set up regional teams for roll outs. The timelines were insane and at almost unattainable timelines.
I came to the conclusion REALLY quickly about work and I am certainly not curing cancer, Alzheimers or the like by any stretch of the imagination. If someone is making out a job to be more important than that, then I am either staying away from that business, industry or person. Which is why I got out of Finance. Life really doesnt need to be that stressful unless you are in a dire financial or personal situation to get all bent out of shape over.

Where else have you been looking to move?
If you are looking to get away from people from northeast, I would refrain from looking at the typical suspects (North Cakalaka down to Florida). If you are from Jersey, you know those states are like second homes for the winter birds.

Compared to some of the flatter states in the Southeast near the coast, Southern California has a lot to offer in terms of outdoor experiences and accessibility. I lived in Orlando for a year and it seemed like the tallest mountain there was Space Mountain at Disney World lol.
All kidding aside, pick up a Sunset Magazine or download it. Thumb through some of articles and 'things to do' and just book your plane tickets to visit.

If you come out here, send me a PM and we can meet up for coffee.

[Mugsy]

You won't need to make 115K a year to live here in SD.
My DH and I earn about a lot less then that and we can pay all of the bills. I think taxes are cheaper her than in NJ, right?

You might want to check out the jobs but I think if you have experience and you do, and you know where to look you will be fine here in SD.

[westcoastbabe]

Originally Posted by loveautumn

At 58/still need to work/not rich....that will be an issue for you in finding a good job in San Diego. I don't know what you do for a living (have you been working?), but if you need something that pays you a good income that will be very difficult in your age bracket (take it from me, I see it all the time). If you have other income sources and just want to work (say retail), then you might be OK, but wouldn't make enough to support yourself totally on that kind of salary. Age discrimination is rampant out here as there are so many young people who are drawn to the area and can't even find jobs. The unemployment rate is CA/SD is stil very high. Employment will be your biggest hurdle.

Wow...way to bring someone's dreams down.... I get what you are saying....but maybe that person has faith....Some people actually step out on faith....Things happen for a reason....My motto is 'If you don't shoot, you wont score"- REAL TALK.

[tonyinsd]

Originally Posted by westcoastbabe

My motto is 'If you don't shoot, you wont score"- REAL TALK.

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." -- Wayne Gretzky

[oddstray]

Originally Posted by westcoastbabe

Wow...way to bring someone's dreams down.... I get what you are saying....but maybe that person has faith....Some people actually step out on faith....Things happen for a reason....My motto is 'If you don't shoot, you wont score"- REAL TALK.

Way to insert some realism into the discussion. It's true that you have to take chances to have a good life. It pays to be aware of everything around you when you choose to take chances.

[loveautumn]

Oh, I'm a big believer in faith but I'm also a big believer in common sense and reality. I think people, especially those in risky situations, should hear all sides in order to make a wise decision. Personally, I have been looking for retirement places for quite awhile now and I'm not afraid to hear the negative about places, in fact I want to, so I can include those in my decision making process and I hope most people would feel that way. IMO, faith includes having wisdom and using it.

[ETADRAFT]

I haven't responded as i haven't quit been able to put into words the awakening i am feeling. Ever since i found this forum, and reading all the positivity coming from people who have no vested interest in our moving to CA taking the time to write and support, its been amazing. We are discussing every day ways to get there faster.

I sat in a meeting friday about spreadsheets, trackers and projections. Among all the higher ups of a major cell carrier. I looked around the room and realized there was no one there i looked up to or respected. there was no one in the room i would ever model my life after. Bad elite attitudes, militant deadlines, unbelievable deadlines, and worst of all unhealthy looking atrophied bodies. (If you don't respect yourself enough to take care of yourself, i cant respect you. an i know you wont respect me) I actually had a moment where this made me smile, i realized non of this matters. At the end of the day they will go home same as i will. They will be the person they are, i will be the person i am. I want better for myself. My job is not and will not be my life, and will not determine how i will live it. I will not destroy my body to meet their projections and expectations. And all for what? My NJ condo on train tracks where it rains and is overcast most of the time. where the humidity during summer prevents you from going outside. and the frozen rainy snowy winter prevents you from going outside. where you really only have a few months a year of decent temperatures to really enjoy nature (if you can find it) Its not NJ fault, its ok if its for you, but its NOT and has never been for me. I've always felt a draw to the west coast but i've been living in denial. I laughed as i realized this. It then occured to me that moving to CA is not running away from my problems or stressful life i live here. Its running to a potential better life. At the end of the day if everything else in my life stays exactly the same as it is right now, at the very least i will be surrounded by the beautiful CA. And free to explore everything it has to offer at a minimum of every weekend.

The only real reason for me to be apprehensive in any way (that i can see) is the consideration of what will i do for an income once i'm there. My sense of reason steps up and reminds me that i have always done whatever it takes to make money. I've done handyman work on the weekends, built full additions while not employed. literally anything to get by. So really this isn't even a viable worry.

I love all the quotes being posted. One of my favorites is "Get busy living, or get busy dying".

The overall majority of the threads on here seem to say the same thing, just come and you will see and say, you will wish you came sooner.

And @shmoov_groovzsd once i'm there, i will def hit you up for a coffee

[SusieQ923]

You're still young and your skilled. You have a lot going for you and I think you will do just fine making a move. It takes about a year to get settled and comfortable after a move. A big plus is that you won't be going alone!

[loveautumn]

Yes, I agree that is your biggest hurdle. I fear, however, that you think every place to work here isn't stressful, competitive, deadline oriented, etc etc, which many are. People from all over the world come here and compete for jobs. Most companies are highly competitive, they just don't seem that way, but the demands and expectations can be the same, especially when you get into the higher salary jobs....50-60 hr weeks are very common. Work wise, IMO, California is one of the most cut throat places I've ever been employed, it's just that everybody seems "nice". Nice is big out here. From reading your posts, I seems you have a very idealistic view of what working in California is like.

But at your age, I think you can take the chance.