How self sufficient are recent college graduates? Where do parents stand? (apartment complex, how much)

[Coco012000]

Originally Posted by roadwarrior101

I completely agree. We have some family members who have coached their children to do what they love. Unfortunately, they haven't also taught them about the realities of our new financial norm.

Case in point, one of my nephews is graduating college this year with over $100k in debt. He hasn't focused on internships or networking during undergrad. I've tried to coach him, but he's been turned off by my offers of assistance. He graduated with about a 2.5 and his job prospects look very bleak at this point. His sister has less debt (maybe $30k). She graduated from a UC, but her major was psych and she wants to go into Social Work. Part of her student loan debt is from taking out additional money to travel through Europe after graduation. In addition, she wants to live in the Newport Beach area, but she has no sense of what it really takes financially to live in that area. She's torn about going to grad school or going into the Peace Corps. Yeah, real sense of reality there. All I can say is that this not the way we'll be raising our kids.

I don't exactly see where you are agreeing with the other user. Other than parents are being stupid. It seems you've tried to guide you niece and nephew.

My GF is having a very simliar talk with her brother. He wants to go into a major that doesn't pay dog crap. She's telling him what post graduation will be like as even the "in-demand" graduates are having trouble.

That being said college degrees take about 5 years, and the economy has changed very drastically in the last 8ish years. Student graduating college now, never saw this coming. The economy had always bounced back, and in the 90's and early 2000's companies were throwing money at people. It's easy to get into college, and not follow what's going on with the economy because there are more pressing issues.

[ananimus]

Originally Posted by anthony052007

That being said college degrees take about 5 years, and the economy has changed very drastically in the last 8ish years. Student graduating college now, never saw this coming. The economy had always bounced back, and in the 90's and early 2000's companies were throwing money at people. It's easy to get into college, and not follow what's going on with the economy because there are more pressing issues.

This is a fantastically put point and I think where a lot of the student debt and employment issues are crushing even the best graduates right now. I was guided to balance enjoying my work while paying attention to demand and adapted my studies along the way. In a highly technical field, mind you.

Ten years ago that was a fair plan. You didn't need to be as rigid with that philosophical balance so long as you had the training and experience. Except that it was easy not to consider the effect of everyone else around you who were also busting their humps: starting salaries (weighed against the dramatically dwindling dollar) stagnated.

It's the perfect storm for financial nightmares in anyone trying to escape the bottom. Being educated, trained and talented makes you the modern financial equivalent of a day laborer qualified for a smaller pool of jobs. You've just finished working your butt off to get in line for what has become the new living wage.

To bring it back, I'm out now and am one of the fortunate few who had an offer before finishing. Self-sufficient? Yep, that much have and am grateful for. But well off? Not by a long shot. At least not yet.

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Originally Posted by anthony052007

I hear all this stuff about college grads having problems finding jobs. At the same time I've read a lot of articles saying adult children need to stand on their own two feet.

This generations college grads parents lost their homes to the "mortgage crisis", the finical aid tells college students their middle class family makes enough to help them pay for college (leaving college students racking up loan debt). And from what I hear, companies don't want to hire entry level.

Is this a true situation for college grads? Are parents helping their adult kids because of this economy?

In other countries, families bond strengths for survival in economic hardship. What is the experience in the US?

If your 0-3years out of college, what kind of situation are you or have you been in?

Many Americans entertain a doctrinaire philosophy about intergenerational wealth transfer / family money, namely, it is despised (at least that is the "PC" view). Whereas, in Asia and to an extent Europe parents of moderate to upper means will greatly aid their kids in school, getting started, etc. Of course this is all with the proviso that money be kept in the family. Just an observation.

[EdJS]

Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly

Many Americans entertain a doctrinaire philosophy about intergenerational wealth transfer / family money, namely, it is despised (at least that is the "PC" view). Whereas, in Asia and to an extent Europe parents of moderate to upper means will greatly aid their kids in school, getting started, etc. Of course this is all with the proviso that money be kept in the family. Just an observation.

Indeed: My wife, whose parents are Chinese immigrants, put all five of their children through college themselves. None of them had to take out any loans as far as I know; certainly my wife didn't. And while they weren't poor, they weren't wealthy either. They owned a Chinese restaurant (which all the kids had to work in while growing up, by the way).

[ananimus]

Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly

Many Americans entertain a doctrinaire philosophy about intergenerational wealth transfer / family money, namely, it is despised (at least that is the "PC" view). Whereas, in Asia and to an extent Europe parents of moderate to upper means will greatly aid their kids in school, getting started, etc. Of course this is all with the proviso that money be kept in the family. Just an observation.

I don't buy that being the genuine attitude regarding family wealth in the US.

In the Midwest, families of "moderate to upper means" readily supported their children, almost universally sending them to college. The many going it alone largely wanted what the others already had: to have their own financially secure family.

Sometimes jealousy issues come up. But everyone I recognized the value of supporting the younger family members to the extent their means allowed.

[Coco012000]

Keeping the money in the family is my point. Americans don't seem to look out for their family members like other cultures.

For example, I have a friend (early 20's) that lives with her boyfriend and works at a dead end job to pay rent. At the same time, her parents are being foreclosed on because they can't pay their mortgage. It would seem she (and her boyfriend) would move in with her parents and help them pay for their house instead of pay rent.

There are also people I know who teach their kids to follow their dream. Which may entail going 100k's in debt to pay for college. But when that child graduates, the parents that encouraged this behavior tell their kids "your on your own" and say don't even let their kids move back in.

There was one member who said his dad helped in his uncles lumbar yard during a time of need. But, it seems some families are like this, while other are not. There is even a site Get My Kid Off My Couch.com this is a form of support from parents, but it seems parents believe after a certain age they have "done their job" and therefor children(young adults) reciprocate.

I remember being a child and older people asking why children don't take care of parents in old age any more. This seems to be the answer.

How are our families supposed to survive when we are not willing to make concessions to better and take care of each other in old age or in young age? How are we to survive in comparison to, for example asian families, where the money stays in the family?

[bigdumbgod]

We're a fiercely independent culture. Mostly.

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by anthony052007

Interesting point of view. My thought is more that families should bond together rather than taxpayer pay. Even for the mortgage crisis, I would think families would bond together. But the average common man isn't the one to blame for our current economy problems. There is a huge wage gap issue, and layoff, and manufacturing jobs going over seas, and American companies getting visas to hire people over seas without hiring American workers. A lot has changed in the past 5-10 years.

HSW was harsh, but I think your post is too easy on the "common man". The "common man" in America has gotten really complacent over the past 30 or so years, and when he couldn't get the lifestyle he wanted, he tried to borrow to make up the difference .

Giant corporations have automated or outsourced middle income jobs, leaving many people flat footed. I get that. But that trend has been operating for a while now so it's not like it's something new. My biggest beef with average folks is that basic middle class values have been abandoned. The high divorce rate and the 41% out of wedlock birth rate is keeping a lot of people out of the middle class. How can you get into the middle class (and stay there) if you have kids without being married? Most people who start out having kids without being married are not going to do too well.

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by bigdumbgod

We're a fiercely independent culture. Mostly.

Except when we screw up. Then we want someone to bail us out. I don't consider that to be true independence.

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by anthony052007

Keeping the money in the family is my point. Americans don't seem to look out for their family members like other cultures.

You're right. We really don't. That is going to have to change.

Originally Posted by anthony052007

There are also people I know who teach their kids to follow their dream. Which may entail going 100k's in debt to pay for college. But when that child graduates, the parents that encouraged this behavior tell their kids "you're on your own" and say don't even let their kids move back in.

I agree. The example you gave is one of many where kids are pumped up with these unrealistic expectations and then then so many people act shocked and accuse today's kids of being entitled. Well, uh, it was the parents who raised these kids to be that way.

Originally Posted by anthony052007

How are our families supposed to survive when we are not willing to make concessions to better and take care of each other in old age or in young age? How are we to survive in comparison to, for example asian families, where the money stays in the family?

Good questions. We're going to have to move out of our comfort zones and cooperate more. We're also going to have to be more realistic in our expectations. Despite the tough times we are going through (and I believe we are still in the early innings of this process) I think people being more cooperative and realistic could pave the way for a very nice future down the road (if we can manage to get there!).