Want to relocate to Sarasota from NY, wife does not (Siesta Key: rental, health insurance)

[neildiamond11790]

Aside from loving my time in Sarasota/Siesta Key on vacations, I just really despise NY now. 2 young kids, trapped in the house all winter, virtually no springs anymore just goes from freezing cold, to 1 week nice weather, to hot/humid summers.

I like the heat, it just doesn't last long enough. It takes the ocean 2 months of high heat to just hit 70 degrees. The water is dirty, the sand is coarse and (I don't want to speak about the north shore of long island water and sand, ewww).

The taxes are ridiculous, the heating costs are asburd, the electric costs keep increasing and the housing, forget it, $400K buys you for the most part absolutely nothing in decent areas, a complete renovation in ok areas. If you can swing $500k you get a lot more, and taxes in the $12-15k range, no thanks.

I like to swim, fish, golf, and does that say NY to you? Well, 4 months of the year, but thats my point it is not enough. I know the negatives of Florida, I know the stereotypes that most people that only spend a week at Disney every 4 years know, they don't know the SW corrider of FL however.

I want a modest house, cheap taxes and access to the outdoors most of the year. My wife however will not consider, its been a possibility, but its out the door now. And its all do to family. Now I get family, I understand some people that cannot live far away, but I also get people that want to live their life. She hates NY to, and I just find it annoying tostay living in a high cost area just for people you see once a month or less. I truly admire people that kind of go their own ways, seeking places to live in that they love, and I guess thats really my issue, I am tired of living in a place that has no appeal to me. I could care less about Manhattan, I am not a large city person, while I love the Hamptons, living there is just not a possibility without a few million in the bank. The few positives of NY for me do not outweigh the misery of everything else.

Rant over. If you have any tips on getting a spouse to be on board for a move, please let me know.

[gypsychic]

Aww, sorry to hear that. Will she consider spending a few months of the year here with you? If not, would she let you come yourself or no? It's tough when a spouse isn't on board with something important like that. One or the other of you will always be unhappy.

Maybe take as many vacations as you can during the winter - our weather is great during those months!

[Obrero]

Is it a parent she doesn't want to leave? How about buying a house with an in law suite so they can spend the winter in FL with you.
We moved from NJ a couple of years ago. Do you have a job you can transfer with? Yeah it's much cheaper to live here but the wages are laughably low.

[poodlestix]

Tell your wife that her family can visit her in Florida since it's such a great vacation spot. Maybe her family will end up falling in love with it and want to move here too! I have lived here six years now and don't see myself ever getting tired of it.

[Serious Conversation]

Most people would love to live in FL, but the reason they don't and stay in NJ/NY etc, is because they are doing much better in the North than they ever will in the South.

[neildiamond11790]

Parent, siblings, all in NY. None will move to FL, they all view it negatively because they have only really ever been to Disney or east coast. Cannot do part of the year here, it would be a full time move. 2nd home might be doable in the next 10 years, more possible is a split investment property with my parents in the next few years.

[bbronston]

Given your screen name, wait until it is cold out again. Take her by the hand and say "Cracklin' Rosie, get on board, we're gonna ride 'till there ain't no more to go, takin' it slow, moving near Obrero, we'll have good time where the temp's over 80"...or something similar, I guess.

Seriously, though, you have to give her a compelling reason beyond what you've said.

[Cardiff by the Sea]

For the next twelve months, keep a calendar of how often she gets together with relatives. Write it down on a calendar so she can see it and see how little it really is. If it really is as little as you say, agree to let her fly back for visits on that frequency. You keep the kids for the weekend. No reduction in family contact for her. Do the big holidays with her family.

Once I took Spirit Airlines from CA to Sarasota. They had a deal going in which if you applied for a credit card while you were in flight, you got 6 one way flights free and you can give them to anyone. Let her get her free roundtrips in her name. Then you take a trip with her, get a card in your name and get another 3 free round trips. I actually liked Spirit. It was very peaceful cause there is no food service. If you are just going for a weekend and have only 1 carry on, it is a great deal.

After a year of her visiting and telling the relatives how great the beach is, your relatives will all be coming to see you. You may have booking problems for the spare bedroom in January.

You might think about softening them up by renting a big house on the beach for a week this summer and inviting everyone in her family. Build up collective good feelings and memories about Florida. You might also to do the same for the last week in February. Name me a person who lives in the north who is not ready to shoot themselves after 8 weeks of freezing gray. The trick is to change the relatives view from "we would lose on of the tribe", to "oh boy, a free vacation escape from hell."

Also, this winter get her started on facetime or some kind of video chat with the relatives on a regular basis. The rationale would be so she can see them without having to brave the freezing cold. The point is to develop this as a normal way for them to interact (not the only way).

With all of this, mention nothing about moving. The idea is set up the conditions in advance that maintain contact between her and her family. Let her start to rationalize that she could just carry on. The whole thing works better if she/her family figure out they can maintain contact without living close. Make the relatives want that free vacation in Florida. If they become positive, she will be receptive to their opinions. You--not so much--because you are just a husband. Don't you have any guy allies in her family???

[neildiamond11790]

Originally Posted by bbronston

Given your screen name, wait until it is cold out again. Take her by the hand and say "Cracklin' Rosie, get on board, we're gonna ride 'till there ain't no more to go, takin' it slow, moving near Obrero, we'll have good time where the temp's over 80"...or something similar, I guess.

Seriously, though, you have to give her a compelling reason beyond what you've said.

Reasons provided so far:

Weather
Cost of Living
Good School district
Housing (much better options in all price ranges compared to Long Island)
Better weather for our children, who both suffer from allergies
She hates the cold
pool use up to 12 months a year (probably 8 most likely)
Spend more time outside
More active, healthier lifestyle
Amazing beaches
Outdoor living at home with covered lanai's, etc
Job market (believe it or not, try finding a teaching job on Long Island the past 3 years)
Waterfront dining
possible boat
palm trees
no brown out times like winter in NY which can be desribed as brown, grey and filthy
convertible

Do I really need to provide more, I had me at Weather, and a Surfer sandwich at Anna's is reason #2.

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by neildiamond11790

Reasons provided so far:

Weather
Cost of Living
Good School district
Housing (much better options in all price ranges compared to Long Island)
Better weather for our children, who both suffer from allergies
She hates the cold
pool use up to 12 months a year (probably 8 most likely)
Spend more time outside
More active, healthier lifestyle
Amazing beaches
Outdoor living at home with covered lanai's, etc
Job market (believe it or not, try finding a teaching job on Long Island the past 3 years)
Waterfront dining
possible boat
palm trees
no brown out times like winter in NY which can be desribed as brown, grey and filthy
convertible

Do I really need to provide more, I had me at Weather, and a Surfer sandwich at Anna's is reason #2.

I'll give it to you straight ~ after last winter, everyone wants to move to Florida...I work on Siesta & we are booked through August (weekly rental condominium on gulf).

Weather ~ you'll need to deal with humidity six plus months out of the year ~ temps this week feel like 99 degrees

Cost of Living ~ lower than NYC ~ kinda...prices used to drop after the tourists went home in May

School Districts ~ education down here is not comparable to "up North;" sorry, but it's not. We live a beach life down here & so does education

If you hate the cold up north, you need to love the A/C & heat down here

Spend more time outside ~ November through April

Amazing beaches ~ yes & getting a parking spot has become similar to opposite side of the street parking. If you don't get to SKBeach early, you will fight for your spot ~ thanks Mr. Beach for the #1 best beach vote

Job market ~ luck of the draw, lots of part time jobs, no health insurance & pay cuts

boat ~ boat needs a dock or a marina or a trailer

Palm trees ~ yes, it's better to sweat under a palm tree in Sarasota than NYC in the summer...

Family issue ~ this is a big one for a lot of people who want to change states; If you're leaving your children, grandchildren, older parents, it can be very challenging. You're either going to be flying back & forth for holidays or your relatives will

Not trying to rain on your parade of movement but there are many factors to consider when making a move to Florida/Sarasota!