***Please think twice before moving to Seattle....here is why...READ (transplants, home)
Seattle areaSeattle and King County Suburbs
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You make some good points, but you're way off on others. As to the social climate: Yes, Seattle is a VERY liberal city, and if you don't fit neatly into one of the circles of whackjob extremist belief systems, you will likely have a hard time making social inroads within the city. Most of them only preach tolerance and acceptance as long as your "thing" is the same thing that they've got going on for them - they're highly intolerant of anybody who's not just like them with the bicycle worship and the 'save the planet' BS etc.....which is ironic. But that's the key phrase there: within the city. Leave the city and go east, and suddenly it's not so ardently activist blue anymore. My S/O and I have had no troubles building social circles (we don't do well with extremists from either side of the belief aisle) and, not surprisingly, most of those people are from Bellevue, Mercer Island, Redmond, Issaquah, etc. as opposed to Seattle, with some notable exceptions. We've learned to temper our expectations as it pertains to people who live in Seattle, and that's OK. We've come to accept that Seattle is a perpetually "young" city, and as people get older, they tend to leave the city because their views no longer align with the hipsters that think they're a hell of a lot cooler than they are.
On your perspective of dating: Yeah, the dating scene out here is harsh for a single guy. If you're single in this city, I feel for you no matter what your station in life. The overwhelming majority of single women I've come across in this area (and a good chunk of the non-single ones) have some sort of misfire going on, there is some serious female damage out this way. And I've still never grasped why it is they almost universally think that they're a lot more "all that" than they are. Maybe it's because they're outnumbered by 50,000, I don't know. But I know I'd hate to be single in a city where they perpetually think they're hotter than they are, smarter than they are, and classier than they are. I cringe every time a buddy regales the tale of a date gone bad: a woman thinks that just because she's moved up from Starbucks barista to sales rep at Nordstroms that suddenly she's entitled to some $100,000 a year software dev at Microsoft because now she's a "professional". Working in construction, I can see how you'd think the dating scene is a completely lost cause. Most of the people I work with are only one step away from that, and they're actually targeted by the area's women.
The last bit I'd touch on is your perception that if people aren't extroverted and gregarious that there is something wrong with them or "something is amiss". That's the problem with you extroverts - you think everybody should be extroverts. There's nothing wrong with being introverted, you just don't know how to interact with them. The thing about being in a city with so many brilliant introverts is this: If you can't stimulate them intellectually, we're going to dismiss you. We don't like "white noise" like extroverts do. We don't speak just for the sake of having something come spewing out of our mouths. That's what many extroverts can't understand. It's not that we're not friendly. And it's not a "it's not you, it's me" sort of thing - it really is you. We stop talking because we've disconnected from the conversation, as what you're saying doesn't interest us. That's all that is.
I am fine with this. I am generally not all that social either. I hang out with work people sometimes (happy hour, etc.) and a few friends and acquaintances here and there but in general I enjoy going out to nice restaurants, drinking nice wine, and that's about it.
I am also fairly conservative politically. I usually don't talk politics because my views tend to clash with most of the people around me but if someone asks, I'll answer. I hope people don't take this the wrong way but I also don't really like spending too much time with people who aren't that smart...i.e., I don't watch Jim Carrey movies, watch SNL, etc...actually I don't watch much TV at all so I don't really identify with people who get excited over the latest episode of Mad Men, etc.
My typical week is spent working from mon-fri all day so I only have time for a nice dinner most nights. Saturday is spent on hobby stuff (I bike a lot and like other stuff like photography, scuba diving, etc.). On Sundays I got to church. Sunday afternoons are spent resting at home with the family. Most of the friends I make are church friends actually because we tend to have a lot more in common with it comes to politics and social issues.
So in that sense, I think I'll be fine in Seattle. I don't think I'm elitist but if I am, I like other elitists. Xanthos will be my friend...
It's not elitism, it's just having different priorities and a higher standard when it comes to interactions . I'm feelin' ya, man.
. We don't speak just for the sake of having something come spewing out of our mouths. That's what many extroverts can't understand. It's not that we're not friendly. And it's not a "it's not you, it's me" sort of thing - it really is you. We stop talking because we've disconnected from the conversation, as what you're saying doesn't interest us. That's all that is.
I agree. I am a die hard introvert, nothing is worse than a crowd of people making noise and talking to me. I like to interact with people 1 on 1 or 1 on 2. Anything more than that is a crowd. When you only have 2-3 friends, you're very choosy about who you spend time with. I want to spend time with people who are most like me in terms of temperament and belief systems.
I also agree with the PP who said, people are so busy. Many of these techies are working long hours, what precious time they do have they want to spend time with their families or doing something they enjoy. I think this a trend all over the US---kids no longer play together after school or in the summer because they're busy with gymnastics/dance/soccer/camp, etc. Often times both parents are working fulltime, and it's tough just to keep your head above water. I do think society in general is becoming more disconnected from each other.
I think Seattle is a very nice city.....due to the nature, the economy, the new-ness and overall appearance of the city compared to other older cities back east, the lack of real bad and crime riddled areas, and ..well...that is about it in my opinion. Here are the reasons I have left the region. Firstly, the summers are seriously short ( I am always tickled when people say how beautiful the summers are in Seattle.....and how they love to point this out), and Seattle only gets around 60 days of sunshine a year! It is also way too crowded nowadays, and the traffic is one of the worst in the USA. It is also expensive in Seattle...from rent to food to the median cost of a home being over 400,000 dollars. Seattle has got some diversity, mainly Asians, yet still is a very predominantly Scandinavian/white city. There is not a great amount of ethnic culture in Seattle within the Caucasian/European heritage element in Seattle.
Seattle is one of the most liberal cities in America and wears that badge very proudly. It is seemingly more accepting of folks who are more into the alternative lifestyle, such as those into getting tatted up, and folks who are heavily into yoga, new age belief systems, and holistic living lifestyles and etc. All in all, yes, there are tons of people who love and enjoy all this about Seattle...and feel wonderful about residing in Seattle. I understand that.
But here is the biggest factor as to why I left Seattle........the social climate...I found most people in Seattle (the locals from the area)......to be very civil, well-behaved and polite enough, but nearly impossible to get to know. Seattle in my view, is a very elitist city, a smart, highly educated populace more or less. For me, it was much too elitist. Most people I met immediately longed to know what you do for living. This was imperative to most the people I met over the years I spent there. As if not much else really mattered much to them. I went through the experience of being shunned tons of times due to this because I am in construction and not some Microsoft software developer or something. Also, with a huge Scandinavian influenced culture and heritage, I found most people to be too leery, too uptight, unenthusiastic, and very fickle in regard to the cultivation of new friendships.
No matter how wonderful a person you are, how loving, how kind, Seattle is one tough nut to crack socially if you are not from the region and do not fit real snugly into one of the very liberal sub-cultures. I found folks to primarily be much too standoffish, much to leery, and actually very silently judgmental. It just felt all very superficially friendly to me. Too uptight, and very anti-social, coupled with the elitist provincialism. It is like their is no zeal, for people, but more for pets, nature and alternative lifestyle views. I have never encountered such a tough social climate in all my travels abroad and in the USA.
I always felt it could be the Scandinavian influenced heritage affecting the social climate in the region. When I was in Germany years ago, I recall the Germans joking that if people thought they were reserved and aloof, one ought to go to Sweden and really see how reserved and hard to go to know the Swedes are.
Also, for single men new to the area, Seattle has over 50000 more single men than single women. The area has one of the worst demographics in the USA for single men. I assure you, it shows as well.
I just cant believe all the years I spend in social isolation in Seattle, not being from there and trying to cultivate new friendships. Folks are more introverted in Seattle, much less social, and not fond of people who are gregarious and overly friendly. There is something amiss in my opinion when it comes to dealing with people socially, in Seattle. I found no heart and soul in Seattle....seemed to be all about career, money, and being anti-social to the those who they do not know, or who do have glowing white collar careers, and who share their liberal views and lifestyles. It is the sort of social environment where ou may meet some folks here and there, they will say they will call you, get in touch, maybe go hang out sometime and etc.....yet then you simply never hear from them again. It is real strange. Just very flaky socially, like nowhere else I ever been in the USA. I had to leave due to my character and personality type. I was just way too friendly for Seattle, and genuine about it. Seattle is not for gregarious, and people loving social souls.
If you are more passive, want to be left alone, don't care to make many friends, are reserved, and like life that way......yes, then Seattle is a great city for sure.
It kind of makes sense, a microsoft software development would probably have more in common with another software development since they're most like enthusiast in some way that can talk about stuff.
Everyone has their own experiences, but mine is the complete opposite of yours.
I am not from the region (S. Alabama), not Liberal (Libertarian), and don't have a good job in the software industry (Infantrymen originally) and I have made some of the best friends of my life out here.
In fact I loved the city and the people so much that even though my job took me to N. Carolina, when I got out I moved straight back. No where else I'd rather live in the US.
Most of them only preach tolerance and acceptance as long as your "thing" is the same thing that they've got going on for them
I completely agree with this. I will never understand the people who preach "tolerance", and "diversity", and think that everyone should be treated equally, and that everyone should get their fair share, and that cultural stereotypes are a very bad thing.
But then, those same people are often the first to mention that they hate "rednecks" and "cowboys".
I think Seattle is a very nice city.....due to the nature, the economy, the new-ness and overall appearance of the city compared to other older cities back east, the lack of real bad and crime riddled areas, and ..well...that is about it in my opinion. Here are the reasons I have left the region. Firstly, the summers are seriously short ( I am always tickled when people say how beautiful the summers are in Seattle.....and how they love to point this out), and Seattle only gets around 60 days of sunshine a year! It is also way too crowded nowadays, and the traffic is one of the worst in the USA. It is also expensive in Seattle...from rent to food to the median cost of a home being over 400,000 dollars. Seattle has got some diversity, mainly Asians, yet still is a very predominantly Scandinavian/white city. There is not a great amount of ethnic culture in Seattle within the Caucasian/European heritage element in Seattle.
Seattle is one of the most liberal cities in America and wears that badge very proudly. It is seemingly more accepting of folks who are more into the alternative lifestyle, such as those into getting tatted up, and folks who are heavily into yoga, new age belief systems, and holistic living lifestyles and etc. All in all, yes, there are tons of people who love and enjoy all this about Seattle...and feel wonderful about residing in Seattle. I understand that.
But here is the biggest factor as to why I left Seattle........the social climate...I found most people in Seattle (the locals from the area)......to be very civil, well-behaved and polite enough, but nearly impossible to get to know. Seattle in my view, is a very elitist city, a smart, highly educated populace more or less. For me, it was much too elitist. Most people I met immediately longed to know what you do for living. This was imperative to most the people I met over the years I spent there. As if not much else really mattered much to them. I went through the experience of being shunned tons of times due to this because I am in construction and not some Microsoft software developer or something. Also, with a huge Scandinavian influenced culture and heritage, I found most people to be too leery, too uptight, unenthusiastic, and very fickle in regard to the cultivation of new friendships.
No matter how wonderful a person you are, how loving, how kind, Seattle is one tough nut to crack socially if you are not from the region and do not fit real snugly into one of the very liberal sub-cultures. I found folks to primarily be much too standoffish, much to leery, and actually very silently judgmental. It just felt all very superficially friendly to me. Too uptight, and very anti-social, coupled with the elitist provincialism. It is like their is no zeal, for people, but more for pets, nature and alternative lifestyle views. I have never encountered such a tough social climate in all my travels abroad and in the USA.
I always felt it could be the Scandinavian influenced heritage affecting the social climate in the region. When I was in Germany years ago, I recall the Germans joking that if people thought they were reserved and aloof, one ought to go to Sweden and really see how reserved and hard to go to know the Swedes are.
Also, for single men new to the area, Seattle has over 50000 more single men than single women. The area has one of the worst demographics in the USA for single men. I assure you, it shows as well.
I just cant believe all the years I spend in social isolation in Seattle, not being from there and trying to cultivate new friendships. Folks are more introverted in Seattle, much less social, and not fond of people who are gregarious and overly friendly. There is something amiss in my opinion when it comes to dealing with people socially, in Seattle. I found no heart and soul in Seattle....seemed to be all about career, money, and being anti-social to the those who they do not know, or who do have glowing white collar careers, and who share their liberal views and lifestyles. It is the sort of social environment where ou may meet some folks here and there, they will say they will call you, get in touch, maybe go hang out sometime and etc.....yet then you simply never hear from them again. It is real strange. Just very flaky socially, like nowhere else I ever been in the USA. I had to leave due to my character and personality type. I was just way too friendly for Seattle, and genuine about it. Seattle is not for gregarious, and people loving social souls.
If you are more passive, want to be left alone, don't care to make many friends, are reserved, and like life that way......yes, then Seattle is a great city for sure.
I completely agree with this. I will never understand the people who preach "tolerance", and "diversity", and think that everyone should be treated equally, and that everyone should get their fair share, and that cultural stereotypes are a very bad thing.
But then, those same people are often the first to mention that they hate "rednecks" and "cowboys".
Sorry. Political rant over...
Yup. "We're all equals!" "Everybody is special!" "I should be allowed to do my own thing!"......"Wait, you don't want to do the same thing I want to do? God, you're pathetic!" "I hate successful people!" "God, I can't stand people who drive SUV's" etc. etc. It's an almost exclusively extreme-liberal symptom.
Yup. "We're all equals!" "Everybody is special!" "I should be allowed to do my own thing!"......"Wait, you don't want to do the same thing I want to do? God, you're pathetic!" "I hate successful people!" "God, I can't stand people who drive SUV's" etc. etc. It's an almost exclusively extreme-liberal symptom.
:lol:
Did you really just make the statement that intolerance is "an almost exclusively extreme-liberal symptom."
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