No KID-ding... (Seattle, Bellevue, Redmond: best suburbs, how much, home) - Washington (WA) -Seattle and King County Suburbs - City-Data Forum

Taiwanhellokitty · 09-05-2012, 08:49 PM

I'm not against kids, but I was wondering where around Seattle are the best suburbs that you don't feel like an outsider if you don't have kids but live with someone and aren't planning to get married? I know that the PNW has a "live and let live" mentality and since I live in the South it's getting pretty annoying that I'm asked all the time like, "When are you getting married or when did you decide you didn't want to have children?" I'm looked at like I'm a freak and I just decided when I was in my teens that I didn't want to have them (turns out good thing since I have had some unforeseen health problems)! If you want have children, that's great, but it seems like females (or especially in the South) have a hard time always having to justify their feelings/thoughts! My partner doesn't want to have any either and of course he doesn't get asked as much as I do... lucky him!

Anyway, I would say that even though obviously I'm not a social conservative, I actually lean GOP in elections (however, I was for Ron Paul). Any help/advice on where to maybe live?

Kayela · 09-05-2012, 09:09 PM

I'm a female who is not going to have children (and like you I have nothing against them). I've lived here 11 years and NEVER been asked about my reproductive proclivities. Asked if I have them - yes, asked if I'm going to have them - nope. I moved here from the midwest where I was asked all the time, so I was already on the defensive when I got here. Maybe I'm just not approachable like that but folks here are very careful about asking things that people don't feel the least bit shy about asking in other parts of the country. I'm also not asked how much I paid for things (unless someone takes me aside and asks me in a way that makes it obvious they are trying not to pry, but have an interest in something similar), or how much I make. It's kind of a shocker to go back home and have people just ask me these things point blank to my face and not see anything wrong with it.

For the record I've lived in Bellevue (north and Crossroads), Clyde Hill, Redmond, (upper) Queen Anne, Capitol Hill and DT Seattle. The first 5 were definitely more family-oriented neighborhoods, so I expected some family-planning questions, but didn't get a one. People definitely seem a little more private here and also respecting of other's privacy. it's something I appreciate, but I think some folks eventually find it frustrating.

green_mariner · 09-06-2012, 01:44 AM

I know how the OP feels. I'm lived in the PNW once, but I've been in the South for a long time(Atlanta area). I remember when I was 22. I ran into a classmate of mine, and she asked me "do you have any kids yet"? I was shocked by this because I live by the school of thought that if you aren't married, you shouldn't have kids, or have sex for that matter. However, at age 22, I was expected to have kids. I'm 26 now, still no kids, no wife or girlfriend. I'm male too. I can understand how the OP feels because being recent(and unemployed) college grad, I am back in the town I went to high school at. Basically every person I've run into from my graduating class is married with children. I've felt like I had to explain why I don't have any kids. Maybe the PNW might work out better.

Hemlock140 · 09-06-2012, 06:00 AM

The areas with the best schools are those where people go when they have or plan to have kids. I have never heard of anyone being asked about having kids but in order to minimize the possibility, live where the schools are not known for being good. That leaves out Bellevue, Mercer Island, Redmond, Issaquah, and Sammamish. That would be anywhere in the more suburban areas of Seattle, especially north, with the exception of Ballard, Magnolia and Queen Anne which do have better schools and more children.

Scotty Dosent Know · 09-06-2012, 07:11 AM

I feel your pain LOL I grew up in Seattle and moved to South Carolina about a 2 years ago and there is definitely a pressure on having kids. In my job I meet new people on a daily basis and the conversations usually go about like this: "Are you married? Do you have kids? Are you going to have kids? Why not? Do you not like kids?" Gets old after a while. Im 32 and have been with my girlfriend for 8 years, we are not going to have children and dont go to church, I think that makes me a criminal down here but im not sure :P

Just different culture I guess, back home in WA most of my friends are late 20's early 30's and most have no children. My girlfriend however will be 26 and has been in touch with friends she went to HS in Atlanta area with. She is "the last to get married and have kids" ......sounds so sad when they say it lol

I don't think you will have to much trouble with this especially if you stay in the area of the city. I think people in the NW just tend to care less what others do with their lives. If you live out in the suburbs you may get asked if you have kids, but you still probably wont get the prying "are you going to have kids" so much.

SitoUK · 09-06-2012, 11:32 AM

My wife and I are in our 30s and have no plans for kids at this point. We live in a central part of Seattle and I don't think I have ever been asked about this, nor has my wife. We know quite a number of other childless couples in our age range. I guess some of them are planning to have kids at some point but I certainly don't feel pressured in any way.

Inkpoe · 09-06-2012, 12:38 PM

I grew up here and have a lot of friends and acquaintances from the many schools I went (in Seattle surburbia)... Honestly, its always more surprising when someone *does* get pregnant (unless they were of that personality where they really wanted kids).

415_s2k · 09-06-2012, 09:19 PM

It's entirely socially acceptable in Seattle not to have children, even if you're living in a more suburban area. I lived in Maple Leaf, which is still part of Seattle but farther north from the city center and is definitely a suburb. There were definitely families all around me, but there were also plenty of couple from their 20's and beyond who didn't have kids, and they didn't stick out abnormally.

The social climate in Seattle also plays a role in this: people are much less outgoing and much less intrusive than they are in the South, and neighborhoods in general function differently. Even on the West Coast in general, neighborhoods don't necessarily function as your primary social hub the way they do in parts of the South, or even the Northeast (Boston or NYC for example). You'll see your neighbors unloading groceries and say "hi," but that's often where it stays.

As far as liking Ron Paul? Move to Snohomish County, like around Edmonds or Lynnwood. My family there are all into him and the tea party, and there's definitely more social support for it up there... for better or worse (holding my tongue). Bellevue and Redmond are more conservative than Seattle, but they tend to be more Reagan conservative.

green_mariner · 09-06-2012, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 415_s2k

It's entirely socially acceptable in Seattle not to have children, even if you're living in a more suburban area. I lived in Maple Leaf, which is still part of Seattle but farther north from the city center and is definitely a suburb. There were definitely families all around me, but there were also plenty of couple from their 20's and beyond who didn't have kids, and they didn't stick out abnormally.

The social climate in Seattle also plays a role in this: people are much less outgoing and much less intrusive than they are in the South, and neighborhoods in general function differently. Even on the West Coast in general, neighborhoods don't necessarily function as your primary social hub the way they do in parts of the South, or even the Northeast (Boston or NYC for example). You'll see your neighbors unloading groceries and say "hi," but that's often where it stays.

As far as liking Ron Paul? Move to Snohomish County, like around Edmonds or Lynnwood. My family there are all into him and the tea party, and there's definitely more social support for it up there... for better or worse (holding my tongue). Bellevue and Redmond are more conservative than Seattle, but they tend to be more Reagan conservative.

Sounds like a place to be if you don't have kids.

However, I would think even Snohomish County wouldn't have that many Ron Paul supporters. I checked the stats. Most residents voted for President Obama.

Taiwanhellokitty · 09-06-2012, 09:50 PM

Thanks for all the comments! I liked Edmonds and maybe Kenmore from what I've seen, but Edmonds would probably be my top pick since it's close to the ferry and also has the Sounder and a Park and Ride to DT Seattle. I liked other areas of DT Seattle but I couldn't see myself living in them but they would be great to go to if we moved. I saw a few Ron Paul signs around Edmonds and I think one in Richmond Beach, but that's not the entire basis of the communities we explored... I'm not really that very much openly political but while I was driving around the eastern areas (Bellevue, Kirkland, etc) didn't really feel myself living in them (it made me feel like where I live now in Virginia Beach)!

How does everyone feel about Edmonds or Kenmore if you don't have kids?