Is there anyone who isn't so RUDE? How to make friends? :/ (Seattle: credit, neighborhoods)

[JRittle123]

Rude?... you want rude come to the east coast where I live. Seattle "rudeness" is nothing in my experience at least.

[RotseCherut]

Seattle isn't rude, Seattle is COLD.. People can seem rude because they are so self-conscious, shy, quiet and introverted.

Like today I was at the health food store and I was grabbing some veggies and one pile of lettuce falls next to this woman's feet. If I was in Boise or Portland, 49 out of 50 people would have picked it up and handed it to me.. The lady just gave me a cold stare and walked away rather than being polite and picking it up for me. I reached down and picked it up. I was saying to myself, what a rude @$#*!.. Well, I then sat back to myself and realized she may not being rude, it is just cultural in Seattle to not concern yourself with something that happens to another person. It would take time out of her busy day and force her to converse with me and interact if she picked up the lettuce and handed it to me.

These are the little thingies about Seattle that can irritate people. But, really, the people are polite on the road, if you need directions or something, usually the men will be happy to help. I have noticed the women can be exceptionally cold (and perhaps paranoid) and will just ignore a man on the street if he is asking for help. However, I don't think they would treat another woman like that. Although, maybe they do?

This is just my analysis of Seattle. However, these traits seem common to the whole half of Western Washington.

Seattle people in general appear a bit high-strung, yet forcefully repress their emotions.. This is where the "Passive-Aggressive" phenomenon so well known in Washington gains its notoriety.

[swerver]

Originally Posted by RotseCherut

Like today I was at the health food store and I was grabbing some veggies and one pile of lettuce falls next to this woman's feet. If I was in Boise or Portland, 49 out of 50 people would have picked it up and handed it to me.. The lady just gave me a cold stare and walked away rather than being polite and picking it up for me. I reached down and picked it up. I was saying to myself, what a rude @$#*!.. Well, I then sat back to myself and realized she may not being rude, it is just cultural in Seattle to not concern yourself with something that happens to another person. It would take time out of her busy day and force her to converse with me and interact if she picked up the lettuce and handed it to me.

This is what I was talking about when I said

Originally Posted by swerver

It must be exhausting always thinking about what others are thinking, coming up with elaborate stories of why they didn't acknowledge you in the specific way you find appropriate. Just stop worrying about it - problem solved. Do your own thing, friends will follow.

This whole story you related above was completely dreamed up in the confines of your head. It really has no basis in reality, other than lettuce being dropped. This in particular "it is just cultural in Seattle to not concern yourself with something that happens to another person" couldn't be further from the truth, but in your head, it's Seattle Freeze first, and everything else has to fall in place and align with that. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Nicomis]

Originally Posted by swerver

This is what I was talking about when I said



This whole story you related above was completely dreamed up in the confines of your head. It really has no basis in reality, other than lettuce being dropped. This in particular "it is just cultural in Seattle to not concern yourself with something that happens to another person" couldn't be further from the truth, but in your head, it's Seattle Freeze first, and everything else has to fall in place and align with that. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Kind of presumptuous to say he dreamed up that whole thing up. Is it somehow impossible that this woman shot him a look and walked off? People are dicks, I totally could see that happening here in Tampa, so it's not so far fetched to say it could happen in Seattle. That's his experience, allow him to share it. Why the hate?

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by RotseCherut

This is just my analysis of Seattle. However, these traits seem common to the whole half of Western Washington.

Seattle people in general appear a bit high-strung, yet forcefully repress their emotions.. This is where the "Passive-Aggressive" phenomenon so well known in Washington gains its notoriety.

What?!?!? Gonna correct you again. Western WA? No, I have family in western WA and when I've been there the people were almost too friendly. As I said in another post somewhere, almost disgustingly friendly at times. Also, Tacoma is in western WA and you have said that you found Tacoma friendly so what gives dude?

Seattelites are so not high strung. You want high strung on the west coast, come on down to the Bay Area (Although even the BA can't compete with the east coast on this). Oakland is the one big city here that's chill. I found Seattle to have a laid back vibe similar to San Diego although only laid back, not sleepy.

[swerver]

Hate? Just sharing an opinion of an opinion, I don't see where hate is involved. And yes it could happen anywhere, Seattle, Tampa, that's been my point all along. I have no problem with someone sharing a story but when the conclusions drawn from it are spurious I'll add my 2 cents. The incorrect conclusion here (IMO) is that "it is just cultural in Seattle to not concern yourself with something that happens to another person".

One type of person will dwell on this type of thing and decide it must be the dreaded "Seattle Freeze". Another type of person doesn't give it a second thought. We all get to decide which type we are going to be. "The freeze" is as real to any person as they let it be, but it has nothing to do with Seattle and more to do with preconcieved notions.

[suziq999]

Originally Posted by RotseCherut

Seattle isn't rude, Seattle is COLD.. People can seem rude because they are so self-conscious, shy, quiet and introverted.

Like today I was at the health food store and I was grabbing some veggies and one pile of lettuce falls next to this woman's feet. If I was in Boise or Portland, 49 out of 50 people would have picked it up and handed it to me.. The lady just gave me a cold stare and walked away rather than being polite and picking it up for me. I reached down and picked it up. I was saying to myself, what a rude @$#*!.. Well, I then sat back to myself and realized she may not being rude, it is just cultural in Seattle to not concern yourself with something that happens to another person. It would take time out of her busy day and force her to converse with me and interact if she picked up the lettuce and handed it to me.

These are the little thingies about Seattle that can irritate people. But, really, the people are polite on the road, if you need directions or something, usually the men will be happy to help. I have noticed the women can be exceptionally cold (and perhaps paranoid) and will just ignore a man on the street if he is asking for help. However, I don't think they would treat another woman like that. Although, maybe they do?

This is just my analysis of Seattle. However, these traits seem common to the whole half of Western Washington.

Seattle people in general appear a bit high-strung, yet forcefully repress their emotions.. This is where the "Passive-Aggressive" phenomenon so well known in Washington gains its notoriety.

You just seem to repel women. I can't imagine why!

[Inkpoe]

Originally Posted by swerver

Hate? Just sharing an opinion of an opinion, I don't see where hate is involved. And yes it could happen anywhere, Seattle, Tampa, that's been my point all along. I have no problem with someone sharing a story but when the conclusions drawn from it are spurious I'll add my 2 cents. The incorrect conclusion here (IMO) is that "it is just cultural in Seattle to not concern yourself with something that happens to another person".

One type of person will dwell on this type of thing and decide it must be the dreaded "Seattle Freeze". Another type of person doesn't give it a second thought. We all get to decide which type we are going to be. "The freeze" is as real to any person as they let it be, but it has nothing to do with Seattle and more to do with preconcieved notions.

Exactly. There's a lesson everyone should've already learned when they're young: If you're looking for rudeness, then rudeness is what you're going to find.

I can only pity the person who spend their life looking for rude nuances, just blowing it up in their mind and letting it be their reality. That's just not a way to live.

[beautifulseattlehomes]

You should have been sitting outside with us last night on Phinney Ridge having great Thai, good drinks and laughing and giggling about many things for hours...Me...DC/NYC, Husband Miami, Best Friend, Denver and Minnesota (all met here in Seattle)...I had a great day before that...the folks at PCC helped me with a bunch of questions I had, my neighbor invited me over for a glass of wine and the mailman chatted with me for 5 minutes about how good my coffee smelled in his truck! That was before I picked my daughter up from school and was invited to dinner at our friends house next weekend oh and after we were invited to my other friends barbecue on Saturday...I don't know...I am a happy and kind person 90% of the time and I am fairly extroverted but I believe that what we put into the world we get back from it...if that doesn't work, my husband always says study Buddhism : )

[RotseCherut]

Originally Posted by suziq999

You just seem to repel women. I can't imagine why!

Maybe, because they are kind and wonderful people like you.. What happened had nothing to do with the fact that the person was a woman. I have had similar encounters with men in Seattle as well. Like one time, I was asking a guy who was standing near a bathroom and playing with iPhone if he was waiting in line for the bathroom. He just ignored me and pretending like I wasn't talking to him, because I was disturbing him from his sacred activity of browsing the internet on the phone. It would have took the guy too much effort in his brain to take one second to answer me. I felt like clobbering the guy, as I have not experienced what I consider "rudeness" to this degree in a long time. However, I took a few steps back and realized that Seattle people are how they are. I also realize maybe he isn't being rude, he just doesn't want to make the effort to involve himself with any human interaction, as it would disturb his current activity. So, I classify him as very COLD rather than rude.

I came from places where people were friendlier and warmer. Perhaps, Seattle is like many places in this country, it is just that I was in places where people were nicer, so perhaps I have been a bit spoiled or blinded, due to the places I have lived for so many years. As Nicomis wrote, in Florida this type of behavior is not so uncommon either.

Considering your smart-aleck and cold responses to my experiences, you only prove my point about people in Seattle all the better. You are certainly not good at taking any type of criticism. You just strike back with your arrogant, passive aggressiveness. Of course, being one of the kind and polite Seattle people you are, I am sure you will come back with more jeers, insults and condescending remarks to prove how nice and kind Seattle people are and how bad I am.

Oh by the way, I don't really give a rat's behind about what people in Seattle think or do. I am polite and friendly Moderator cut: rude