Hated or Paranoid (Seattle, Tukwila: neighborhood, school, live)

[Inkpoe]

The "r-word" used by you in the very OP. Just from the first post alone, you've made it very clear that it most definitely had to be racism with a small chance of sexism. You bizarrely enough even tried to "debunk" me on the athletes alone. There are ways to start a discussion about social etiquette in Seattle, but the way you went about it and then threw a tantrum when I disagreed about it being a race issue shows that you have a very big chip.


(p.s. welcome back Scotty!)

[Scotty Dosent Know]

Originally Posted by dicecobb

I have not used the r-word in this thread

You didn't have to use it to blatantly imply it.

Originally Posted by dicecobb

#1, I'm sitting on a bench waiting for the train at University Station. There dividers on the bench so multiple persons can sit and keep their personal space. *All the other benches were full on my side of the tunnel except mine and I just happened to be the only black guy sitting on a bench.* When the train arrived I stood up and walked aboard. As soon as I did, a white female hastily walked over and sat on the bench. She either hated me for having a penis or for having dark skin, anyway, hate is hurtful.

Originally Posted by dicecobb

My hygiene is fine. I have not used the r-word in this thread, you did. I dislike melting pots but love tossed salads. Do you get it? Comparing S.C. to WA is like apple vs orange. WA passed marriage equality and recreational cannabis so it's held to a much much higher standard than S.C. on acceptance and overall quality of happy living. Lastly, my vibe is coo so, ***** don't kill my vibe.

Still didn't mention whether you smoke or not. You can be as well groomed as you want but I would rather stand out in the rain than sit next to someone that smells of cigarettes.

Who says WA is held to a "much higher standard"? You? My statement was fairly straight forward, but apparently I should have made it more elementary for you as I feel you have missed the point. Feel lucky you live somewhere people of all kinds are accepted. If you are so easily offended here, you will have a very hard time somewhere else.

[dicecobb]

Inkpoe, it's fair to say I began the thread a bit rough. But after reading the genuine comments of others, I've cooled. BurgerBuns' thoughts stood out. People have reasons for their behavior and I have to deal with it the best I can. They won't change for others out of consideration because they don't give a damn and don't have to. Fine. I will continue lowering my expectations.

Scotty, I don't smoke but do vaporize cannabis. That's not a problem here.

The thread topic was a real issue for me and has affected my psyche. I'm trying my best to move forward.

[west seattle gal]

Dicecobb, I do think you are just paranoid. People are kind of lost in their own bubbles here, too preoccupied to really notice or care about skin color. It's honestly as noticeable or significant as hair color. You are actively looking for and interpreting actions as racism. Life is too short and your life is too valuable to live that way, right?

[sorsha]

I'm a white female. I ride public transit frequently. I have also acted in the same manner as you described the white females acting in #1 and #3 on many occasions. It had nothing to do with the race or the gender of the person. Some of the reasons were:

• I'm sensitive to smells and the person or someone close to them had a scent I was having a reaction to. Various hand soaps, lotions, hair products, perfumes/colognes can cause me to get anything from a runny nose to a migraine.
• Bad smells. Body odor/hygiene issues, cigarettes and weed are the usual culprits.
• I was sick and trying to avoid close contact with people for their own sake.
• The person was taking up too much space and I would be forced to make physical contact with them if I sat down. I avoid physical contact with strangers if I can. As someone earlier mentioned, men who spread their legs are a problem as well as obese or generally large people.
• I was zoned out and either the movement of the person or other people getting on/off a vehicle made me snap out of it long enough to notice the seat.
• I was in a bad mood and was avoiding people because I didn't want them to start up a conversation with me.

As for #2, it's possible that it was racism from the guy since discrimination is alive and well in Seattle, but I don't think you mentioned that his comments toward you were racial in nature. Based on my bus encounters, he more likely fell into the mentally ill or jerk categories.

As for your view that people were glaring at you or eyeing you suspiciously, I think that your feelings may have caused you to misinterpret their actions. In my experiences being the victim in Seattle, my fellow citizens usually either try to ignore what is happening, casually glance in my direction or watch the event go down. They generally don't help or come to my defense unless there are only 1 or 2 other people around. I'm pretty sure that it's just the bystander effect and not that the crowd of 10-20 people hate me too.

[kyled]

Honestly if you're looking for hate your going to find it, not because it's actually there but because it's a reflection of what you're feeling. If you're an angry person and someone cuts you off it's obviously because they meant to spite you and definitely not because they're rushing to the hospital (I'm using car examples because I haven't been on public transport for a few years). It's a much happier life if you just assume the best in people. I was actually just listening to Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" a couple hours ago and one of the lines is "In every life we have some trouble, But when you worry you make it double. Don't worry, be happy." It's even worse in circumstances like this where there probably wasn't any "trouble" at all. Don't worry, be happy and the world around you generally matches that happiness.

Personally, when I'm anywhere at all, I'd prefer to stand than sit next to someone, anyone - even people I've known for years. That doesn't mean I don't like them...as someone has already said, it's a personal space issue.


Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy - YouTube

[dicecobb]

Originally Posted by sorsha

I'm a white female. I ride public transit frequently. I have also acted in the same manner as you described the white females acting in #1 and #3 on many occasions. It had nothing to do with the race or the gender of the person. Some of the reasons were:

• I'm sensitive to smells and the person or someone close to them had a scent I was having a reaction to. Various hand soaps, lotions, hair products, perfumes/colognes can cause me to get anything from a runny nose to a migraine.
• Bad smells. Body odor/hygiene issues, cigarettes and weed are the usual culprits.
• I was sick and trying to avoid close contact with people for their own sake.
• The person was taking up too much space and I would be forced to make physical contact with them if I sat down. I avoid physical contact with strangers if I can. As someone earlier mentioned, men who spread their legs are a problem as well as obese or generally large people.
• I was zoned out and either the movement of the person or other people getting on/off a vehicle made me snap out of it long enough to notice the seat.
• I was in a bad mood and was avoiding people because I didn't want them to start up a conversation with me.

As for #2, it's possible that it was racism from the guy since discrimination is alive and well in Seattle, but I don't think you mentioned that his comments toward you were racial in nature. Based on my bus encounters, he more likely fell into the mentally ill or jerk categories.

As for your view that people were glaring at you or eyeing you suspiciously, I think that your feelings may have caused you to misinterpret their actions. In my experiences being the victim in Seattle, my fellow citizens usually either try to ignore what is happening, casually glance in my direction or watch the event go down. They generally don't help or come to my defense unless there are only 1 or 2 other people around. I'm pretty sure that it's just the bystander effect and not that the crowd of 10-20 people hate me too.

Your comment is very insightful. Thanks for posting.

[dicecobb]

KyleD, WA gives us plenty of reasons to be happy and I need to remind myself of this daily.

[Gaylord_Focker]

LOL, I'm sure Oden was hated because he was a bust, but yea, I think the PNW isn't as great for blacks as say Miami?

[Gaylord_Focker]

Dice, on #2, I think people looked at you for a response, not with a malicious intent. Besides, you know they're not going to look at the crazy bastard.