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I've lived in Seattle for 30 years. Yes the Freeze does exist IMHO. But there are ways to overcome it. If you do end up moving here, don't waste any time getting involved. Do you enjoy playing sports? Start signing up for co-ed activities. I used to play co-ed volleyball which is really popular here. The volleyball group is pretty tight knit group and it's a great way to get dates. This is just one example. Find a co-ed league and go for it.
Also, Seattle is a big area. In my prime dating days, I used to have a saying..."when dating in Seattle, go north, south, east or west." I always found that the farther away you get from downtown Seattle, the friendlier the people get. That statement may upset a few folks but oh well
I used to drive all the way up to Edmonds or Bellevue to party and I'd do well. Each of us will have different results. I'm kind of a conservative/libertarian type of guy. So for me to pursue women up on Cap Hill for instance would be a huge waste of time. Best to find your "power zones" and apply accordingly.
Last but not least, smile and talk to ladies. Be quick with a joke or a witty remark and try to get her to laugh. Walk up to a cute lady and say "wow you look really nice today" and see what happens! Be the exception and always try to break the ice. In a city this big, all it takes is one great connection to find a girlfriend.
Wow, a lot of responses, thanks guys. Maybe I am negative or whatever but I just feel like every city has it's problems. I have heard people talk about how bad the weather in Seattle but in Austin, we just got out of 90-100 degree days. Here it's not like "oh, we're going to have a warm front come in and have 5 days of heat". It's May to October lol.
Austin people are very friendly but tend to flake out a lot. I feel like the Seattle Freeze may just be the reality of living in a large town and every large town has it's own set of issues. But maybe I'm wrong.
People living in Seattle, how have you made friends? I am not "sporty" but I do run, hike, paddle board, etc., just not team things.
Everybody wants to fall in love , but nobody loves to fall.. I say don't move to Seattle if you are after long term, monogamous romantic pursuits.. YMMV.. If you got to join sports groups, climb rigorous mountains or join some type of organization to find love, you are basically doing things backwards. Or, if you want to join an organization, you don't go there to fall in love with another member, but you fall in love with another member because you both wholeheartedly believe in what the group or organization is doing. In fact, you would just as well tell that opposite gender member to jump into a pit of fire if they would dare go against the organization, rather than the other way around. You join these sports or hiking groups because you enjoy playing these sports or you love the outdoors. Climbing the rugged mountains around here in Washington is no joke and by the time you get to the top of those peaks, women will be the last thing on your mind, trust me. I just scaled Mount Pilchuck couple weeks ago and the view and workout made me not notice the many pretty girls hiking up to the top. If anything, they were a hindrance to me and when they started making conversation with me on the trail, I just tried avoiding them altogether as I was not in the mood for finding buddies while I am sweating and grueling with a 30lb pack up a 20% grade of scree. In my experience, the kind of hikes in Seattle that are easy ahd simple, just attract old people looking to get some fresh air and are not places to go hook up with singles who are under 40 or 50.
I agree with the other poster than Northern cities, as a whole, tend to be a bit cold and icy. THis has a lot of attributes to the fact that these big Midwestern and Northwestern cities have a distinct Germanic/Scandinavian with a bit of an Anglo-Saxon heritage. It is a very passive, quiet, mistrusting and reserved culture of people. Northerners also retain more of their traditional European roots compared to Southerners who developed a unique culture of their own. he SOuth is the only real cultured place in the USA to this date that is distinctly different from the rest of the country. Although, this is changing drastically. The problem with Seattle is that a lot of people are too full of themselves and you have a superficial layer of pride, self-entitlement and snootiness you may not have in cities like Chicago or Milwaukee, which are a bit more grimey, gritty, blue-collared and mainstream America. Nobody who lives in Milwaukee thinks that they are spectacular for having the honor to live in Milwaukee, unlike Seattle.
Basically, Seattle is the worse of both worlds. You have the Midwestern/Northern city coldness and reserve, but also have the West Coast snobbiness and pretentious attitudes, where people have a false sense of superiority, entitlement and bloated egos.
My goal ultimately is to make friends both romantic and unromantic wherever I live. I find the best way to do that is find what you like and then find people with common interests. I could just as easily hike by myself or whatever but it's always better to do it with a group.
South has a ton of problems too. As a Texan, I can tell you that Austin is like a little oasis of tolerance. Otherwise, it's not a cool place to be for many people. If you are different, you are not trusted. This usually goes for people of different races, religions, and sexual identity. If you are a straight white protestant male, most areas in the South will accept you. Otherwise, hit or miss (with mainly misses). If you can find your little group, then it makes it more tolerable of course. I guess you can say that about anywhere.
South has a ton of problems too. As a Texan, I can tell you that Austin is like a little oasis of tolerance. Otherwise, it's not a cool place to be for many people. If you are different, you are not trusted. This usually goes for people of different races, religions, and sexual identity. If you are a straight white protestant male, most areas in the South will accept you. Otherwise, hit or miss (with mainly misses). If you can find your little group, then it makes it more tolerable of course. I guess you can say that about anywhere.
I can understand where you are coming from. Actually, I find Seattle to possibly be Texas's polar opposite when it comes to tolerance. In fact, I find Seattle to be one of the least tolerant places that I have ever lived and this is coming from a guy who grew up in Oregon , which was a fine mix of liberals and conservatives throughout the year. If you are a white, straight male who is Jewish/Christian you will be hated and despised and treated as a 2nd class citizen. I have had people insult me for having a religion, flick me off and threaten me for voicing my political opinions and just treat me like I am not worthy of even living. One guy started getting all pissy with me because I didn't think Bernie Sanders was godlike.. Like BROOO ITS ALL ABOUT SANDERS.. I said, sorry I work too damn hard to have half my paycheck go into the pockets of other people sitting on the sidewalk all day getting high, getting drunk or who have too many kids they cannot support and too many exes in prison. The guy looked at me like I was Satan , himself.. Like, how could I not believe in Socialism? I should burn in hell. Ahh,, Seattle Tolerance!
Basically, if you think the way Seattle people think, they will tolerate you. If you support the political causes, shun religion are hardcore gay and abortion rights supporter, etc, they will love you.. If you are an atheist/agnostic and think religion is evil, man-made BS, they will love you. Also, G-d forbid you are openly capitalistic and don't believe in raising taxes, even if you moved to the state because it has lower taxes. However, if you think contrary to the causes and beliefs they support then you will be just as ostracized and made to feel an outcast as a gay black liberal atheist maybe feel in some small town in Texas or Alabama. And, if you don't support socialism, at least with lip service you are the equivalent of a person who steals food from starving children. Nevermind, that people move to Seattle for JOBS, although many move for handouts and think these "evil rich" owe them the world for the honor of having these people come to move to their city and work their low wage and low skilled jobs, while they pursue their dreams of starting the next music legacy or becoming the world's next artistic prodigy.
The irony of people calling Seattle tolerant is that it's TOLERANT to their views and lifestyle, but maybe not to people who have opposite views and lifestyle. Is this really what can be called TOLERANT?
If you have any religious belief at all, are conservative and don't worship Obama, Sanders or Hillary, you can bet your dating life in ultra radical leftist feminist Seattle will be much more frosty than average.
Jay, what kind of differences are you talking about?
Because if you're looking for a true haven for folks who consider themselves different/ out of the ordinary, you should be looking at California. You will find your niche there regardless of who you are and what you represent.
Second place would go to Portland in my book.
Seattle is liberal, well educated, polite, more reserved compared to South/Midwest, homogeneous, orderly, very white. From what I've seen so far there is less diversity here compared to most major cities.
Also, IMHO Seattle is a lot less "weird" than Portland. Before I moved up here I'd expected to see tattoos, pink hair and North Face everywhere. But it's not the case to my surprise. Most people I run into are well dressed, and I even see shirts and - gasp! - ties.
In terms of making friends, I wouldn't fear the "freeze". As an adult, forming solid friendships is hard regardless of where you live. Sure, it may be easier to get an invitation to a party from someone you just met in California than in Washington, but if you're ultimately looking for a more meaningful interaction I'd say you'd have to put in time and effort in any city you end up in.
So basically, in Texas, people have a tendency to think within an incredibly narrow box. When you get to the larger cities like Houston or Dallas, it begins to be a little more open minded with Austin being the apex. However, those areas don't even make up half the population of the state. The majority of the state has a terrible history with race relationships. Has it gotten better overtime? Sure. Do we have a lot of ground to cover still, absolutely.
As a biracial person, I have often found it hard to find my place here as a lot of people still hold their pre-conceived notions of non-whites. I choose to live in Austin because it is more of a free for all. Most people here are open minded. That's not to say that they accept every life style under the sun, but it is definitely more laissez faire here. You are Hindu? That's cool. Gay? Awesome. Hispanic? That's nice.
I am hoping to find a place that is similar to Austin and I hear Seattle is pretty liberal and open-minded. Looking at some census statistics, it seems to be more diverse than Austin. I naturally expect a lot of white people as they are the racial majority of this country. However, I do want to feel like I have more of a "fighting chance" in the environment (if that makes any sense). Here there seems to be a battle of decades of institutionalized bigotry and closed-mindedness.
Seattle is a rough place to date for men. Plain and simple. There is a huge surplus of men here (40,000 more single men than women) due to this city being tech oriented. And those numbers are growing. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of single women here but they use that huge ratio advantage to their benefit.
So basically, in Texas, people have a tendency to think within an incredibly narrow box. When you get to the larger cities like Houston or Dallas, it begins to be a little more open minded with Austin being the apex. However, those areas don't even make up half the population of the state. The majority of the state has a terrible history with race relationships. Has it gotten better overtime? Sure. Do we have a lot of ground to cover still, absolutely.
As a biracial person, I have often found it hard to find my place here as a lot of people still hold their pre-conceived notions of non-whites. I choose to live in Austin because it is more of a free for all. Most people here are open minded. That's not to say that they accept every life style under the sun, but it is definitely more laissez faire here. You are Hindu? That's cool. Gay? Awesome. Hispanic? That's nice.
I am hoping to find a place that is similar to Austin and I hear Seattle is pretty liberal and open-minded. Looking at some census statistics, it seems to be more diverse than Austin. I naturally expect a lot of white people as they are the racial majority of this country. However, I do want to feel like I have more of a "fighting chance" in the environment (if that makes any sense). Here there seems to be a battle of decades of institutionalized bigotry and closed-mindedness.
Jay, why not California?
I've talked to people who were in similar shoes in Denver (I know we're talking Seattle here, but nonetheless) and they were MUCH happier after making the move to Los Angeles. I mean, night and day difference kind of happier.
I just feel that Seattle is quite segregated compared to a lot of other cities which are livable, vibrant and offer a high quality of life and a lot of opportunities for folks from all walks of life. Like LA or Chicago for instance. Northeastern cities. It also sounds from what a lot of people are saying that you have to have a certain type of background in Seattle to find a decent job. So your QOL will also depend highly on that here. It's a nice city but pricey.
Not to say that you wouldn't be happy in Seattle - there's no way for anyone to know except for you- once you move and try it for yourself Good luck to you.
I think anyone from the Midwest and most of the east coast would probably not experience anything out of the ordinary with gloomy winters or people who don't want to hang out like long time friends after a riveting conversation at a public place.
Meh. The winter is not so bad. (Gloomy? Yes. But also not frigid). The fall and the spring are what's bad. Those seasons are sunnier and warmer in the Midwest than here.
I can't say that I ever chatted up a stranger and then hung out like long time friends - anywhere. But I did find it easier to connect with people in the Midwest. I've been here five years and have failed to find a group like I had after six months in my last city. Granted, it was a smaller place. I also made friends more easily in southern CA, which has already been mentioned.
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