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First of all, I haven't just "missed" this. I have been concerned for years, and have been in constant contact with her early education (i.e., preschool) teachers, and have always received positive comments except for a small period when she acted up when she was 2. None of her teachers or staff members, who work with lots of children including disabled children, every day, have suggested that she needs therapy or treatment. I have been in contact with her teacher at her current school, who tells me that she listens great and is a delight to have in class and there are no concerns about anything academic.
I have been in contact with the school psychologist but they refuse to do anything since she doesn't have an issue at school.
Bottom line is she seems to be able to handle herself fine when she puts her mind to it and wants to.
The issue with trying to go down the path of therapy is several. First is cost. I don't think it will be free to my family in my state. Second is time commitment. We have identified potential doctors however they all are long travel times and would require pulling her out of school, which I don't want to do since she does so well in school.
From my perspective at this point, I am most wanting to find things that she enjoys doing and strengthen her skills. I'd like to better engage her at home.
You've been concerned for YEARS and haven't had her tested? I don't get this at all. If you, the parent, are concerned then DO SOMETHING PROACTIVE. Get her tested. If there's no problem then go buy some Legos. If there is, then stop finding excuses why you can't do anything to help your daughter and get her the therapy she needs.
First of all, I haven't just "missed" this. I have been concerned for years, and have been in constant contact with her early education (i.e., preschool) teachers, and have always received positive comments except for a small period when she acted up when she was 2.
None of her teachers or staff members, who work with lots of children including disabled children, every day, have suggested that she needs therapy or treatment. I have been in contact with her teacher at her current school, who tells me that she listens great and is a delight to have in class and there are no concerns about anything academic.
I have been in contact with the school psychologist but they refuse to do anything since she doesn't have an issue at school.
Bottom line is she seems to be able to handle herself fine when she puts her mind to it and wants to.
The issue with trying to go down the path of therapy is several. First is cost. I don't think it will be free to my family in my state. Second is time commitment. We have identified potential doctors however they all are long travel times and would require pulling her out of school, which I don't want to do since she does so well in school.
From my perspective at this point, I am most wanting to find things that she enjoys doing and strengthen her skills. I'd like to better engage her at home.
So, your daughter can have give & take conversations with classmates and adults in school. And, she does NOT talk gibberish or scream at the top of her lungs at school.
She can engaging in a wide variety of appropriate independent play activities at school. But at home will only do a few very, very limited things.
She can handle housekeeping responsibilities at school, such as handing out napkins for snack. But throws a 15 to 20 minute tantrum when you ask her to put a plate on the table at home.
This does not make sense. Why is she so very, very different at school than at home?
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BTW, does she also have problems in the community? At grocery stores, with neighbor children, at the park, during Sunday School, on the school bus? Does the school know this?
She needs a friend or something, social interaction and lots of it. I had 2 kids and I don't know how my son would have turned out without that built in playmate that forced social interaction. She needs peer support and social modeling.
Besides that I believe in computers. That is 'bad parenting' but a lot of autistic kids relate well to the computer. Trying to limit that in favor of maladaptive behavior doesn't make sense to me. Interacting with a computer is interacting and it is a typical activity.
Some parents are anti-technology in favor of other activities that are more enriching but an autistic child has different needs and interests then a typical child. Trying to force the round peg into the square hole is not fair to the round peg.
TV also has a place. How do you learn how to act if you have autism? You model. The people on TV are educational because they demonstrate language interaction. It won't stunt her growth.
Having free time activities like television, video games, computer games and etc. is not bad for an autistic child because it is not replacing an enriching activity. Make no mistake, you will be called upon to work hard, and so will she.
She has interests, but you have to find out what they are and give her what she needs.
She doesn't sound that disabled but you need to find out if there is more you need to do for her because you can't go back in time later on. This is important.
Last edited by Veronicka; 11-06-2016 at 10:05 PM..
I have a 5 year old son with autism, and he's not very interested in engaging in independent play either. I homeschool him, so he is with me ALL the time, and he still pesters me constantly, so it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how much quality time is being spent. I think that he just honestly needs me to direct his every move. Also, he was in therapy learning how to play for 4 years, and he still isn't extremely interested, despite all of the play skills that he has supposedly learned [to copy]. In the mornings, I need some time to clean the house and take a shower. What I did was I created an incentive system (bribes lol) to get him to do some simple chores. I purchased a basic pill box and I taped a picture/text of a chore on top of each day. I put a little treat inside of each compartment that he can have after he's finished each chore. This has worked out very well! He's very proud of his accomplishments and happy to earn small rewards. After a few months, he is able to use this system mostly independently. I have been able to get him to play independently for short periods of time too, but it has to be done in a very specific way. He is only allowed to choose one toy to play with and it has to be in a room that does not have any other toys or distractions in it. I think that he gets too overwhelmed when there's more than one toy. Otherwise, we have rest time twice per day. He's allowed to play on the ipad or watch Netflix, but he has to stay in his bed for a period of time. This gives me a few minutes and gives him a nice sensory break which goes a long way as far as his ability to regulate for the rest of the day. When all else fails, I'll put the TV on. Best of luck!
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