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Old 03-21-2007, 03:07 AM
 
238 posts, read 603,852 times
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Hi!

Myself & our family are relocating to Nixa in the summer. I am Scottish and my husband Is American. I am looking for anyone who is from my way as I am nervous about fitting in. My children are all scottish and they are also nervous.

Last edited by wrightclan; 03-21-2007 at 04:03 AM..
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Old 03-21-2007, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Ozark, MO
100 posts, read 475,057 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wrightclan View Post
Hi!

Myself & our family are relocating to Nixa in the summer. I am Scottish and my husband Is American. I am looking for anyone who is from my way as I am nervous about fitting in. My children are all scottish and they are also nervous.


Well.... my family is from Fordell, Fife, Scotland. In fact there is a castle there (Henderson Castle) that belongs to my family.

Only problem is, we have been in the United States since 1660 or so.

On a serious note, I don't think you are going to have a bit of trouble. If anything, you will be the cool Scottish people. Besides, you will be saying "Y'all" before you know it.
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Old 03-21-2007, 10:14 AM
 
238 posts, read 603,852 times
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Default wrightclan

Quote:
Originally Posted by Randy Henderson View Post
Well.... my family is from Fordell, Fife, Scotland. In fact there is a castle there (Henderson Castle) that belongs to my family.

Only problem is, we have been in the United States since 1660 or so.

On a serious note, I don't think you are going to have a bit of trouble. If anything, you will be the cool Scottish people. Besides, you will be saying "Y'all" before you know it.
Thank You, I hope we fit in. Have you been to Scotland to see the castle your family own? Lots of cool castles around here.
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Old 03-21-2007, 10:39 AM
 
2,896 posts, read 6,396,416 times
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I have read some of your other posts about the schools and your kids and I'm not sure why you folks feel you may not fit in. Nixa is a terrific place and the kids around here seemed to be pretty cool about newcomers. I have not come across anyone since we've been here that was in any way un-welcoming and we are from.....*gasp* California! C'mon out here and jump right in, I think you will love it. I know you have family here already so that will really make it easy.
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Old 03-21-2007, 01:42 PM
 
Location: SW MO
339 posts, read 1,370,748 times
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I am Scottish by ancestry. But then I'm also English, Irish, German, Swedish, and a few other things I'm not sure of. You'll all be fine here.

I'm sure your husband tells you not to worry so much. If you're anything like my wife, it does absolutely no good.
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Old 03-22-2007, 02:21 AM
 
238 posts, read 603,852 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozarks21 View Post
I am Scottish by ancestry. But then I'm also English, Irish, German, Swedish, and a few other things I'm not sure of. You'll all be fine here.

I'm sure your husband tells you not to worry so much. If you're anything like my wife, it does absolutely no good.
It is just such a huge change, us scottish people were born worriers. I am sure everything will be fine. we used to live in Minnesota years ago. It was hard but I got by. It was just so difficult making friends. In our culture people come and go in and out of people's houses, it has a very open door policy. I found with Minnesota that it was not acceptable to turn up unanounced. I know that probably just sounds petty and probably was just an isolated incident. I have been to Nixa a few times and have found everyone extremley friendly, that is one reason we like it so much.

Thanks for your reassurance
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:01 AM
 
Location: SW MO
339 posts, read 1,370,748 times
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When I was growing up we would visit without announcing and sometimes just walk in friend's houses without knocking. This has changed. I like to have notice of visitors ahead of time. We live a much more scheduled life these days - for better or worse.
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Old 03-22-2007, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Springfield, Missouri
2,815 posts, read 12,613,061 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wrightclan View Post
It is just such a huge change, us scottish people were born worriers. I am sure everything will be fine. we used to live in Minnesota years ago. It was hard but I got by. It was just so difficult making friends. In our culture people come and go in and out of people's houses, it has a very open door policy. I found with Minnesota that it was not acceptable to turn up unanounced. I know that probably just sounds petty and probably was just an isolated incident. I have been to Nixa a few times and have found everyone extremley friendly, that is one reason we like it so much.

Thanks for your reassurance
I also do not like people showing up at my house unannounced. Maybe it's cultural.
My first cousin Brian had told me he was going to come and stay at my house and I said sure, let me know what day you'll be here.
He never told me, then he showed up unannounced and unplanned one night completely nonchalant. I was pissed. I told him to leave and get a motel room.
Had he had the courtesy to inform me beforehand of when he'd arrive, I'd have been happy to have him stay as long as he wished and enjoyed it. But I don't like being hostage to other people's plans that affect me while keeping me uninformed. That doesn't fly.
People are friendly, and it's genuine ( I am too!), but I don't want people running in and out of my house and just showing up out of the blue. I think what you experienced in Minnesota might simply have been a perception by them that you weren't respecting their privacy. It surely wasn't met to be offensive, of that I'm sure!
However.....
I must say that here I love my neighbors. I call them first to ask if I may pop by and they call me first if they want to come over (we live on properties with lots of acreage so you drive to each other's houses usually). If I see them outside doing things on their grounds, I'll wave and they'll wave back and if we want to chat, we start walking towards each other.
But I'll tell you this...
Nowhere but Missouri would you find people who will literally give you the shirts off their backs if you're in need.
During the January ice storm when we lost power and trees were falling everywhere and my house dipped to 37F inside, I panicked about the pipes freezing. My neighbors brought over portable propane heaters to warm my house up and got it up to 72F!
Because the storm was a three day event and one could literally die outside of exposure or be critically injured, I left my house unlocked so any neighbors could get in if need be. I even left diamond rings on the chest of drawers and didn't worry about it.
In return, my immediate neighbors had to station themselves in town to use their snowplow and de-icing as they have private contracts to service and their house had the wood stove going and without power, the sump pump didn't work and their basement was flooding. They needed me to watch over their house and animals too. So I manually attached the sump pump leads to a car battery sitting on wet carpet in the dark with a flashlight every half hour to help get the water down. I did this for two days until we got a generator to supply power and then ran an extension cord to the sump. I slept on their floor in front of the wood stove and woke up every so often to put more wood into it. I felt a responsibility to do what I could to help them and relieve their worry about the house so they could do their work in town.
It was a balance. They saved my water pipes by their generosity (and refused to take payment for the propane tank I used of theirs) and I reciprocated by watching over their house and maintaining the pump manually and fed their animals. We get along so well. They even invited me to Christmas dinner and I went.
But...you don't stop by unannounced. It's just a courtesy to give warning as you never know what condition you might find them in and I for one run around my house in my underwear!
So don't take that personally
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Old 03-22-2007, 01:58 PM
 
238 posts, read 603,852 times
Reputation: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoMark View Post
I also do not like people showing up at my house unannounced. Maybe it's cultural.
My first cousin Brian had told me he was going to come and stay at my house and I said sure, let me know what day you'll be here.
He never told me, then he showed up unannounced and unplanned one night completely nonchalant. I was pissed. I told him to leave and get a motel room.
Had he had the courtesy to inform me beforehand of when he'd arrive, I'd have been happy to have him stay as long as he wished and enjoyed it. But I don't like being hostage to other people's plans that affect me while keeping me uninformed. That doesn't fly.
People are friendly, and it's genuine ( I am too!), but I don't want people running in and out of my house and just showing up out of the blue. I think what you experienced in Minnesota might simply have been a perception by them that you weren't respecting their privacy. It surely wasn't met to be offensive, of that I'm sure!
However.....
I must say that here I love my neighbors. I call them first to ask if I may pop by and they call me first if they want to come over (we live on properties with lots of acreage so you drive to each other's houses usually). If I see them outside doing things on their grounds, I'll wave and they'll wave back and if we want to chat, we start walking towards each other.
But I'll tell you this...
Nowhere but Missouri would you find people who will literally give you the shirts off their backs if you're in need.
During the January ice storm when we lost power and trees were falling everywhere and my house dipped to 37F inside, I panicked about the pipes freezing. My neighbors brought over portable propane heaters to warm my house up and got it up to 72F!
Because the storm was a three day event and one could literally die outside of exposure or be critically injured, I left my house unlocked so any neighbors could get in if need be. I even left diamond rings on the chest of drawers and didn't worry about it.
In return, my immediate neighbors had to station themselves in town to use their snowplow and de-icing as they have private contracts to service and their house had the wood stove going and without power, the sump pump didn't work and their basement was flooding. They needed me to watch over their house and animals too. So I manually attached the sump pump leads to a car battery sitting on wet carpet in the dark with a flashlight every half hour to help get the water down. I did this for two days until we got a generator to supply power and then ran an extension cord to the sump. I slept on their floor in front of the wood stove and woke up every so often to put more wood into it. I felt a responsibility to do what I could to help them and relieve their worry about the house so they could do their work in town.
It was a balance. They saved my water pipes by their generosity (and refused to take payment for the propane tank I used of theirs) and I reciprocated by watching over their house and maintaining the pump manually and fed their animals. We get along so well. They even invited me to Christmas dinner and I went.
But...you don't stop by unannounced. It's just a courtesy to give warning as you never know what condition you might find them in and I for one run around my house in my underwear!
So don't take that personally
Thanks for your comments. It obviously is a cultural thing.
We are less scheduled over here, which I think can be kind of nice. It is also nice to take the time to have an unscheduled event occur, it adds some diversity to your day.

I do hear what you are saying about distance, I did recognise that it makes more sense to phone as it would be a wasted journey if someone wasn't home.

I am not meaning any offence, I think it is harder to make friends with people if you always feel like you are invading their schedule, something I came across all the time in Minnesota. I don't say that offesively, it is just hard to adapt to that.

.
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Old 03-22-2007, 02:33 PM
 
15 posts, read 58,776 times
Reputation: 16
My wife and I don't even open the door unless we're expecting a visitor. On the rare occurrence we get an unexpected visitor, we don't open the door unless we recognize the vehicle parked on the driveway. Well, we are probably a bit more standoffish than most people in this area. I think you may find people in MO are not so different from people in MN. My neighbors all seem nice enough and I know the names of the ones living on either side of my house, but we don't really engage in anything more than brief smalltalk. I find it a lot easier to make friends and socialize with people at the workplace rather than the people living near me.

Anyway, I would recommend not trying too hard to "fit in" and just be yourselves. The fact that you are so different and have a unique accent would make me that much more interested in getting to know you.

I think your children will be fine. I think their personalities will have more of an impact than their accents. If they are outgoing and extroverted, their differences will make them the "cool Scottish kids" that everyone wants to be friends with. If they are quiet and introverted, they may face some social difficulties like any quiet, introverted child has to deal with.
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