Which Nursing Home Would you Move your Mom or Dad To ?? (Tampa: 2014, apartment) - Tampa Bay - Florida (FL) -Tampa - St. Petersburg - Clearwater - City-Data Forum

gulfporter · 07-31-2014, 10:08 AM

My dear 90 year old Father In Law remains in his own home in DC-Metro with some outside caregivers and family helping him manage. His needs are increasing and his ability to stay in his own home may be coming to an end in the coming year or so. His other children still work so my husband and I are the ones who manage his current care and are able to visit him the most, since we are retired.

He has outlived his friends and there's really nothing that ties him to the DC-Metro area. It may make sense to move him to a care facility closer to us.

We are new to Gulfport and wondering if anyone has some first-hand experiences with local nursing homes. Good (and bad comments) on any of them would be appreciated.

The Villages Guy · 07-31-2014, 11:32 AM

Best Rated Nursing Homes in Pinellas County, FL - ThirdAge.com

I don't have first hand knowledge, but thought this may help.

BTW - You are a sweetheart for wanting your FIL to be close to you and trying to find the best care possible.

gulfporter · 07-31-2014, 11:40 AM

Thanks for the link; we will visit them before my FIL needs a place, if/when that day comes. My husband helped me with my parents as they aged and came to the end of their lives, so now I get to help him and his family.

That's the thing with parents: They help you as you grow up; you help them as they grow old. Circle of life and all that jazz.

BucFan · 07-31-2014, 02:40 PM

I feel for what you're going through.

gulfporter · 07-31-2014, 03:02 PM

So far, it's not too bad. His short term memory is shot...but he remembers who sat next to him in the 2nd grade

Mobility issues and rapidly fading eyesight will determine when he will need 24-7 help and the move to a facility that provides that in a dignified manner.

He is cheerful 99.9% of the time....THAT is a huge plus. Many elders get a tad cranky late in life and dealing with that (as I did with my Dad), is challenging, to say the least.

We sold our homes in Mexico and Arizona and moved back to the East coast to make looking in on him easier and less costly. We're delighted to have found Gulfport and glad we made the move earlier this year. Commuting to DC from Tampa every month is a breeze compared to coming from the west (time zones and distance) or from a foreign country (customs/immigration lines).

LKJ1988 · 07-31-2014, 04:23 PM

Not Woodbridge. We had to sue them years back.

Pocopsonite · 08-02-2014, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gulfporter

Thanks for the link; we will visit them before my FIL needs a place, if/when that day comes.

Just a caution from my own experience: "that day" can arrive much faster than you ever believed possible.

My mom was considering a move to an Independent Living apartment. She suddenly was in the hospital for a week, for reasons never completely determined. She had to go to skilled nursing and spent about five weeks there. When it was time to "go home," she clearly could never live at home again, even with help. (A split level house, with everything separated by stairs, which she couldn't manage.)

We did a whirlwind tour of two or three nearby Assisted Living options and thankfully the one we chose was WONderful.

Do the tours sooner rather than later. These places won't change much over the course of even a year or two. Of course you hope "that day" never does come, but if it does you'll be prepared.

LargoLady · 08-04-2014, 11:15 PM

My 94-year old friend just moved to Seasons Largo Assisted Living Facility, Largo, FL and she loves it. It is on the south side East Bay Drive just east of Belcher Road. She and I toured assisted living facilities in the area for months before finding this one. It opened in June 2014 so the building is very modern and the rooms are new.

The first floor is assisted living and the second and third floor are memory care/nursing. There is an aviary on the third floor which is wonderful.

The facility is clean and new and modern, the food is good (one of the most important things in our search), and the staff is nice. A great vibe to the place! I love going to visit her.

I would happily have my own mother live there.

LargoLady · 08-04-2014, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gulfporter

So far, it's not too bad. His short term memory is shot...but he remembers who sat next to him in the 2nd grade

Mobility issues and rapidly fading eyesight will determine when he will need 24-7 help and the move to a facility that provides that in a dignified manner.

He is cheerful 99.9% of the time....THAT is a huge plus. Many elders get a tad cranky late in life and dealing with that (as I did with my Dad), is challenging, to say the least.

We sold our homes in Mexico and Arizona and moved back to the East coast to make looking in on him easier and less costly. We're delighted to have found Gulfport and glad we made the move earlier this year. Commuting to DC from Tampa every month is a breeze compared to coming from the west (time zones and distance) or from a foreign country (customs/immigration lines).

I highly recommend he moves before he 'needs' to move. The transition is much better when it is relaxed and well-planned and there are no major issues (health or otherwise) happening at the same time. You know the move it inevitable so start the process when all is happy and calm! Having watched both rushed and relaxed moves, there is no doubt in my mind which is better for everyone.

gulfporter · 08-05-2014, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LargoLady

I highly recommend he moves before he 'needs' to move. The transition is much better when it is relaxed and well-planned and there are no major issues (health or otherwise) happening at the same time. You know the move it inevitable so start the process when all is happy and calm! Having watched both rushed and relaxed moves, there is no doubt in my mind which is better for everyone.

My FIL would agree with you, in theory. However, he's not 'ready' for it in his heart and mind. He talks a good game: saying that he's 'thinking' about moving. Two years ago he visited 3 very nice assisted living facilities in DC-Metro. He liked them (he had been a volunteer ombudsman at one of them up until he stopped driving at age 87). But it became clear that he visited them to placate his children, but had (and has) no intention of moving anytime soon.

On my side of the family, my mother stayed in her own home until she was 92, had her last heart attack as she was packing to fly off on vacation. My aunt just turned 90 and she lives alone in her suburban PA home; still flies to visit her sons, walks at least a mile every day. And last week, my Uncle Jack turned NINETY NINE!! He moved to an INDEPENDENT living apartment just 3 years ago, when he stopped driving.

One of my senior friends (age 85) lived at her home with her grown son; she had some coronary issues but still drove to her grocery store and church. Her son was there to do all the heavy lifting. His job got transferred out of state. She stayed alone for a few months and things were OK, but her daughter who lived 3 hours away, insisted her Mom move to independent living near her. She did, hated it, missed her home terribly, became depressed (never had depression before, I knew her for 40 years) and she died within 4 months. While I don't blame her daughter for wanting her Mom to move closer to her, I don't think my friend would have died so soon had she stayed in her own home. It was as if she gave up on life after moving out of her home.