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Relax about grades in elementary school. They are just meant to tell you how he is doing. They have no real long term impact on your child like they do in high school.
A little while ago my son (7) was struggling with some of the math assignments. That was reflected in his grades for those assignments. When we talked about it (we always talk about schoolwork and grades), he said, "That's alright Dad, I just won't be that smart. It's OK."
A little while ago my son (7) was struggling with some of the math assignments. That was reflected in his grades for those assignments. When we talked about it (we always talk about schoolwork and grades), he said, "That's alright Dad, I just won't be that smart. It's OK."
A little while ago my son (7) was struggling with some of the math assignments. That was reflected in his grades for those assignments. When we talked about it (we always talk about schoolwork and grades), he said, "That's alright Dad, I just won't be that smart. It's OK."
No long term impact indeed.
Your son's reaction is exactly why I dislike the focus on grades in elementary school. The OP is focusing on the grade instead of the learning, and I see that as a problem. Your son is also focusing on the grade and not the learning and I wonder where he gets it from. YOu haven't posted enough information for me to determine whether you are giving him the idea that grades are really important or if it is the teacher.
Sometimes we focus on talking to our kids about grades instead of talking to them about what they are learning. WE create this obsession with grades that makes kids focus obsessively on them. Since your son is young YOU have the power to undo the damage.
Grades in 2nd grade have no impact on your child's ability to get into a good college. Whether they damage his psyche is something you can partially control by your attitude towards them.
I never let my schooling get in the way of my education. - Mark Twain
This is the approach we have embraced with our kids in school. Yes, sometimes the school sends home work that is not age appropriate. Sometimes they send home assignments without enough instruction or information from the teacher. Sometimes once the assignment is started the child realizes they don't understand everything they need to in order to complete the assignment. (IME this is not the case most of the time. Most of the time the expectations are lowered and the assignments dumbed down but that is for another thread).
Yes, they should do as much as they can on their own however the point is for them to learn along the way. If we need to work with them we will. What is the educational value in sending them back with incomplete work or still lacking understanding of the material or doing something all by themselves when if you could help them a little the educational value of the project would be increased?
Example:
DD brought home a homework project for science in 6th grade. The instructions weren't clear and it was obvious that the teacher didn't even understand the science behind the project. DD would not have been able to do it on her own. DH and I worked with her, corrected the science errors from the teacher and together we completed the project. By the end of the evening DD completely understood the science concept and finished the assignment.
The next day she found that NOT ONE other student was able to understand/complete the work on their own. Neither did their parents help them understand/complete it. The teacher decided not to grade the assignment because only one student was able to complete it. They didn't go over it in class, they just moved on to the new days work.
Now who really gained educational value from this assignment...the students who were left to fend for themselves or DD, who we helped but ended up understanding the science even better than her teacher? Sure, we did the work with DD and the other students didn't get lower grades but they also didn't LEARN anything.
I think this bears repeating.
Quote:
I never let my schooling get in the way of my education. - Mark Twain
OP, you can find a balance between helping/challenging/supporting your children in their education and meeting the schools requirements. I think your son probably could have done more on his own but don't feel bad for helping him if in the end he learned more about the process and the assignment. Make sure you are always helping him, not him helping you....it's still his name on the paper.
I really don't think I focus very much on grades. But when the teacher returns the assignments, the grades are right there at the top in bold print. I spend a lot of time with both of my kids trying to help them understand the material. The teachers have stated that their job is to present the material, go over it one time in class, and assign homework. If they don't understand it after one presentation, it is up to us to work with them to help them understand.
After this episode with my son, we talked about what he was having difficulty with, and spent extra time on it until he understood the material. I was very careful to reassure him that his grades don't really say anything about how smart he is. He was just struggling with this one concept, I think due to lack of adequate instruction in the class. They both have heard me say that I don't particularly care what grade they get, as long as they understand the concepts. Even when they have missed assignments (like due to absence) we still have them do the homework, even if it won't be graded.
My point was that due to the emphasis placed on grades by the school, they can have an impact on a child's self-perception.
My point was that due to the emphasis placed on grades by the school, they can have an impact on a child's self-perception.
I agree with you that grades can impact a child's self perception, but when they are young hopefully, you can mitigate the damage a little. I am very glad to hear that you have a healthy approach to grades. Many parents do not and they continue to focus on the grades and not on the learning.
My original comments were meant to make the OP realize that the focus should not be on grades in 2nd grade. I guess they were poorly worded. I really should have mentioned something about grades not affecting college entrance blah blah blah. Sorry.
No, I understand and agree with your point. It was me who was unclear. It was late, and I didn't explain myself enough. Thank you for your input.
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What exactly is expected from a 2nd grader?
