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I need to help in making a decision... I am originally from Texas but have spent 22 years living and working in Paris, France and another 3 years living and working in Florence, Italy. My background in Destination Management which briefly means designing corporate incentive programs or preparing business meetings in the above destinations. Our market was primarily American therefore I have had what I consider the best of both worlds living in Europe and working with Americans.
I am wondering if should I move back to the States, are there still golden opportunities there? I have lived so long out of the country that I feel like a foreigner when I go back?
Has anyone had a similar experience that might have some words of wisdom in helping me decide to make the move back or should I do everything to stay here. I am divorced since 2002 and must face my economic situation. I have 2 sons in Paris, a daughter in London and my youngest with me. My whole family is in Texas but I don’t know where I belong anymore. If I stay in Europe I will certainly be closer to my children but finding well paid employment in Italy is difficult.
I need to help in making a decision... I am originally from Texas but have spent 22 years living and working in Paris, France and another 3 years living and working in Florence, Italy. My background in Destination Management which briefly means designing corporate incentive programs or preparing business meetings in the above destinations. Our market was primarily American therefore I have had what I consider the best of both worlds living in Europe and working with Americans.
I am wondering if should I move back to the States, are there still golden opportunities there? I have lived so long out of the country that I feel like a foreigner when I go back?
Has anyone had a similar experience that might have some words of wisdom in helping me decide to make the move back or should I do everything to stay here. I am divorced since 2002 and must face my economic situation. I have 2 sons in Paris, a daughter in London and my youngest with me. My whole family is in Texas but I don’t know where I belong anymore. If I stay in Europe I will certainly be closer to my children but finding well paid employment in Italy is difficult.
It is very hard to answer your questions, because (1) I don't really know enough about you and (2) it is a very personal decision.
What is your status in Europe? Are you a dual EU/US citizen? Also, what is your compensation like? If you are an EU citizen, you are not limited to just looking for work in Italy, but can do so in many European countries. Also remember the excellent vacation and medical/social benefits that come with the European system.
Also, even if you could secure an excellent job in the US with competitive benefits, I suspect you are going to have tremendous "reverse-culture shock." Europe and America are very different - just leave it at that. Texas and Europe are even more different [I assume you are thinking of moving to Texas based on your post].
I am a German expat that have been in the US for many years. I came to the US and eventually settled in San Diego, and I am very happy. I love the weather, the beauty of the city etc. Yet, there are still many, many things I miss about Germany. Fortunately, because I am financially independent, I can take as much vacation as I want, and so I visit Europe and other countries on a regular basis.
In the end, it is a personal decision. If you have family in TX, you may be the kind of person who need that [of course, with your kids in Europe, that sort of may change how you think about that]. I just wanted to make you aware of some of the things you need to think about.
I just wanted to say to think very carefully before leaving kids behind, no matter how old they are. I moved to England from Massachusetts when my two eldest were 13 and 15. They decided to stay in Mass and live with their Dad. They are now 22 and 21 and because of our financial circumstances, I have only seen them once in all that time. I do talk to them regularly. I found the first year or so unbearable without them. I cried all the time and have felt extremely guilty. We hadn't planned on living in the UK for so long, but that is how life has worked out.
We are moving back to the States in six month time. And we are moving to Texas, as that is where my Dad is at and he is very ill. I can understand about your fears of feeling like an outsider, I have the same fear, and for my husband as well because he is VERY british, lol. I am worried about fitting in, however we have made a pact to make the most out of it and find the town that feels just right to us so we can become members of the community. I have never felt that I fit in here in the UK until this year, so although it may take some time, you'll feel more a part the more involved you become.
Thank you, the question side I do have covered, I guess I am looking for personal experience of others to know their pros and cons. My heart is in Europe and the lifestyle here but my brains and pocket book face the States. So I need to find a balance or try and balance my situation so I can remain here. It was alot easier when I was young and left for Paris at 19 years old. My courage is beginning to fold during difficult times as I become older, in any case, I am happy that you found a good life in San Diego.
Cheers!
Thank you, the question side I do have covered, I guess I am looking for personal experience of others to know their pros and cons. My heart is in Europe and the lifestyle here but my brains and pocket book face the States. So I need to find a balance or try and balance my situation so I can remain here. It was alot easier when I was young and left for Paris at 19 years old. My courage is beginning to fold during difficult times as I become older, in any case, I am happy that you found a good life in San Diego.
Cheers!
Hi:
You didn't mention whether you are an EU citizen, which really does affect your prospects in Europe. However, based on your writing above, my gut feel is that you should try and make things work in Europe. Going with brains and your pocket is surprisingly not always the smartest thing to do. To be closer to your children, and to live in an environment that you love, is IMHO much more important than living in a large house, driving a large car etc.
For example, I own a condo here in San Diego, 2 blocks from the beach, with a beautiful ocean view. It is a 2BR, 2BA. When I bought it, a friend in Georgia chuckled and reminded me that I could have a McMansion for the price I paid for the condo. But for me, what do I need that for? I like that I can walk on the beach in the evening, live in 65 degrees for most of the year, have plenty of outdoor opportunities, with easy access to both Mexico and LA.
Of course, everyone has different tastes and priorities, and for some, perhaps with a large family, a larger home is more important. However, my point is, do it if you have a really good reason, not just because it looks cheaper or more "sensible." If you say your heart is in Europe, you will have a hard time going to TX. Its not better or worse - it's just very different.
As I said, look outside Italy if you can. You mention that you are getting older - being an older person in Europe is by far better than being old in the US. If you come to the US, do you have extensive financial resources/retirement? What about health care? Remaining in Europe may have more benefits than you think, because remember, the US does not really have socialized health care, socialized retirement etc.
Of course, everyone has different tastes and priorities, and for some, perhaps with a large family, a larger home is more important. However, my point is, do it if you have a really good reason, not just because it looks cheaper or more "sensible." If you say your heart is in Europe, you will have a hard time going to TX. Its not better or worse - it's just very different.
As I said, look outside Italy if you can. You mention that you are getting older - being an older person in Europe is by far better than being old in the US. If you come to the US, do you have extensive financial resources/retirement? What about health care? Remaining in Europe may have more benefits than you think, because remember, the US does not really have socialized health care, socialized retirement etc.
I absolutely agree with this. I haven't lived in Europe but I have frequently visited/stayed with my very good friends in England and I always cry and go through a period of depression when I return to the States. I was in the process of completing my paperwork with a UK agency to teach in England when I was stricken by an incurable disease and had to cancel my plans.
I prefer the European way of life. My friend in England also has a chronic disease (less serious than mine) and she and her husband have none of the worries about getting healthcare that I have. She has also had direct contact with her MPs about her disease and care; she was even invited to speak to members of Parliament! These are not connected, wealthy folks -- just average Britons. Meanwhile, I wrote to my state and federal representatives and never received even a form letter reply!
I love "High Street shopping" and abhor malls. I love having convenient public transportation. I've never been one for excess --huge homes and SUVs -- so I'm comfortable with the English lifestyle.
I'm content in Texas, though, and am glad I live here rather than in another state. Texans are independent and filled with common sense, by and large. But I still lament the fact that I wasn't able to live and work in England.
I absolutely agree with this. I haven't lived in Europe but I have frequently visited/stayed with my very good friends in England and I always cry and go through a period of depression when I return to the States. I was in the process of completing my paperwork with a UK agency to teach in England when I was stricken by an incurable disease and had to cancel my plans.
I prefer the European way of life. My friend in England also has a chronic disease (less serious than mine) and she and her husband have none of the worries about getting healthcare that I have. She has also had direct contact with her MPs about her disease and care; she was even invited to speak to members of Parliament! These are not connected, wealthy folks -- just average Britons. Meanwhile, I wrote to my state and federal representatives and never received even a form letter reply!
I love "High Street shopping" and abhor malls. I love having convenient public transportation. I've never been one for excess --huge homes and SUVs -- so I'm comfortable with the English lifestyle.
I'm content in Texas, though, and am glad I live here rather than in another state. Texans are independent and filled with common sense, by and large. But I still lament the fact that I wasn't able to live and work in England.
Yes, it's quite true. This "way of life" thing can make a big difference. Many of my friends in Germany enviously say that I live in paradise. Yes, I love San Diego, and my ocean view and all that. But if I were not financially independent and able to take vacation when I wanted (at least 4 weeks a year), I don't think San Diego or the US would be worth it. I would not want to live the way a lot of my American friends here live, i.e. with 10-14 days vacation a year, spending beyond their means etc. If you don't have to worry about retirement and health care, the US is great. I can get the benefits of the USA, and sort of "simulate" a European lifestyle with sufficient vacation, time off etc. If I couldn't do that, I would probably have gone back to Germany.
I think the US is a wonderful country of opportunity for many - especially if you come from somewhere in the 3rd world, or if you come from a country which has a caste system, like e.g. India. The US enables you to have opportunities regardless. However, I do not see any real benefit (other than perhaps personal reasons or taste) for Europeans, Australians, and Britons to come to the US. For the most part, they would be scaling down on their lifestyle.
I think many Germans have figured it out --- Australia has been the first choice as an immigration destination for Germans for a while now. It is getting quite hard for them to get in there as well, but if they do, they have much better vacation and benefits than they would in the US.
I lived in Switzerland 9 years until my marriage split up. I moved back to Los Angeles 13 years ago to live with my mother until I could get on my feet and move to the "perfect" destination - of course I stayed here, why? When you have children, you can no longer do what you want. I took my son away from his paternal family (for three years only, he began spending summers with them from age 8 without me accompanying him) and I realized it would benefit him to grow up around at least my family. My mother helped me greatly raising him and he's turned out alright. Meanwhile, Europe has changed, it is not easy there either. My boy is 19 now and wants to leave LA, he may go to Switzerland to live after he finishes his studies here. I am looking to leave LA as well with the understanding that I must stay close to him still or he will feel abandoned. I think kids like to think of their parents as their rock/touch-stone. Since you speak French fluently (I assume), why not relocate to Geneva (or the Riviera on Lac Leman) - best city in the world and centrally located, highest economy so you can probably afford to visit Texas often. Good luck in your decision. As it turned out I have no regrets with mine and it turned out well but time to move on for us.
hi misti61 how are you.i am fine.do you friendship me? my name is polash.please send massage.see you.
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