[Lilybeans]

Originally Posted by arel

Every so often, I need to remind myself why I am moving. Then I am ok with it, even though it can be hard.

I find myself envying people who have stable housing and jobs. When I did, I took it all for granted and fantasized about change. Now that change is here, part of me longs for the stability.

I bought a copy of The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren. I got it for a dollar at a book sale. I'm not an evangelical, but I did like a lot of the things he says. One thing stood out in particular, because it had direct relevance to my move. He said that all growth involves change, all change involves loss and all loss involves grief.

Now that I am packing books, my environment is starting to look very different. The change is being made more real, even though it often feels surreal. It can be disorienting, but at least it means forward movement towards a goal.

I envy you. I wish I was moving to Vermont.

[arel]

Some people here in NYC have also expressed envious thoughts.

But one psychiatrist at a clinic where I worked said I'd be back. "You're a New Yorker."

New York and Brattleboro really do feel like different worlds. But I have read of Brattleboro's "New York vibe". It is true that a lot of ex-New Yorkers settle in Brattleboro. I also heard someone in New Hampshire refer to Brattleboro as an "overseas territory" of New York.

Imagine if I were moving to Alaska! I once spoke to some people about moving to Bozeman, Montana, and they looked at me like I had just sprouted a wing nut. Now that would be culture shock, with no way to get to NYC without a long and expensive plane ride, or a very long and very expensive car trip.

When I was a teenager, I used to ride (and later drive) on the West Side Highway in Manhattan. This road goes along the western edge of Manhattan, next to the Hudson River. Across the River is New Jersey. I used to dismiss what was across the river as irrelevant. Then one day it hit me: Across the river was the mainland of the continent! I guess I suffered what a college friend (from Minnesota) once described as "New York provincialism".

Maybe that is another good reason to move.

[flu189]

Well, as a born and raised NYC'er, current resident of Vermont, and a former resident of Alaska for over 21 years, all I can say is go for what you interests you and adjust accordingly. Life is full of unexpected challenges, despairs, and pleasures, and only by taking chances and the risks which come with them will you be able to judge which place or lifestyle will suit you. Remember, just because a certain community has a reputation of having ex NY'ers, those folks may not be of the sort to remind you of the old neighborhood.

[arel]

Maybe the ex-New Yorkers left New York for similar reasons,e.g., to get away from the congestion, materialism, dirt, rudeness, crime and endless concrete and asphalt, with green spaces only in designated areas.

I"ve heard that many New Yorkers moved to Brattleboro after 9/11.

I agree with your belief that one must take chances and risks. It is all too easy to stagnate out of fear of risk, as in "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know".

The movers are scheduled to come this Thursday. I'm driving up Friday. I'll have to return to Brooklyn within a couple of weeks to take care of some business here. But this will be a visit, after which I'll return "home" to Vermont. I wonder how that is going to feel.

Anyway, the moment of truth is at hand.

I will keep everyone posted about the outcome.

I hope Vermont begins to feel like home. Someone I know moved to Georgia, and she has not been able to feel at home there. She wants to return to NYC, I am told.

Thanks for your insights and encouragement. This forum has been an invaluable support.

[Ellwood]

My daughter and SIL left Jersey after college and moved to VT. They have lived there 14 years and it is home to them. They chose to leave the hustle and bustle, congestion and stress behind and raise their family in a beautiful state with the simple things in life. We chose to move upstate NY when we retired (36 miles from them) and leave the city life behind. We don't miss it and in fact when we visit we find we can't wait to get "home" to the peace and quiet. In the first few months we made great new friends who will go out of their way to be helpful. Move with an open mind and enjoy the serenity.

[Southerner in VT]

After moving to Vermont 22 years ago, i was petrified to find out the average snowfall was 220 inches a year. They know how to deal with the snow, the rarely call off school because of snow days... good snow tires on a front wheel drive car will get you anywhere... May i recommend Hakkapelletas, they work the best. And no i am not a tire salesman.... Good luck and enjoy Vermont...

[canyontothesky]

I can't wait to hear about Arel's move! It's a really inspiring story. Also I'd like to know from Arel, what do you do for a living?

I want to move to NH, VT, or ME in the next couple of years. Vermont used to be low on my list, but it's slowly becoming high up there.

[arel]

Well, the cable guy came this morning and now I can email on my own computer. I was having so much trouble with my friend's laptop. It's old and I discovered that it would not do what I wanted it to.

Well, I am here, living in Vermont. My Brooklyn house is now owned by others. I got a great rental place, a renovated Victorian carriage house. Very quiet, clean and comfortable. Nice landlord.

I am still in transition. Not everything has been unpacked, and I still have lots of stuff in storage. I only got my cable hooked up this morning. My cats are still in Brooklyn, but I am going this week to retrieve them.

Sadly, my cat Sammy may have lymphoma. He had been losing weight, while eating voraciously. He tested negative for hyperthyrodism and his diabetes is well controlled. So they did an ultrasound, which revealed thickening in the intestine and also some spleen involvement. They just did another ultrasound to assist in getting some tissue for analysis. I don't know the results of the second ultrasound yet. But I have lined up a veterinary oncologist in the area, in the very likely event that I will need one. It is possible that Sammy only has irritable bowel syndrome, but the spleen involvement suggested to the vet that he has metatastic lymphoma.

So I lost one cat, Rudy, when the eventual buyers showed interest in the house, and now, I will probably lose Sammy within my first year in Vermont.

Am I homesick? Not yet, at least not consiously. Intellectually, I know I want to be here. I love that there is a level of courtesy here that is hard to find in New York.

I have experienced one episode of rudeness from a Vermont driver. She yelled at me, in her New England accent, as I was crossing Main Street. Why wasn't I crossing were I was supposed ta? I mentioned this to a shoe store employee. The employee said the driver was probably a transplant. I mentioned the Vermont license plate, and possibly (I'm not sure) the New England accent. The employee suggested that maybe the driver was from Massachusetts. "We call them Mass holes".

...............................

But I can feel some homesickness kicking in under the surface.

I got a fleeting sense. recently, that I have been here long enough and it is now time to go "home".

Another thing, believe it or not, is I occasionally find myself annoyed with the scenery. Everything is pretty here, true, but on the roads everything looks the same. Trees and mountains. Few landmarks. This surprised me, since one reason I wanted to be here is to nourish my soul with natural beauty and to get away from the ugliness of so much of the city.

I saw a news live shot set in a big city, maybe Chicago or London, and it felt very home-like.

I am careful to refer to New York as "New York" and not as "home". Home for me is now Vermont. I know it takes about a year to make the psychological transition.

I am curious about how it will feel to come "home" to Vermont after 2 days in New York, when for the last 2 years I went "home" to New York after 2-3 days in Vermont.

As for my profession, canyontothesky, I am a psychotherapist (clinical social worker). I haven't started looking for work, but my experience on that front will determine if I stay in the area or not.

Thank you for finding my story inspirational. I know what my story feels like from the inside, but I have no idea how it looks to an outside observer.

[Sherylcatmom]

Arel, I'm so sorry that Sammy is ailing. How difficult so soon after losing Rudy and making a big move. Well, difficult any time, but perhaps especially so now. I hope settling into your nice new place will reduce everyone's stress levels and promote health and healing.

If it does turn out that Sammy has IBD, with or without lymphoma, you may want to check out www.catinfo.org. The cat-only veterinarian & cat rescuer who wrote that site helped me save my Bailey's life when he was wasting away from IBD for 18 months about 6 years ago. (He has not shown a sign of IBD since. I continue to feed all our cats according to the principles described at that site.)

I'm glad you're posting your longings for the familiar former home as well as your positive experiences here. It will be interesting to see what happens as Vermont becomes the familiar place for you, and whether the right job materializes in support of your staying here. Maybe you'll learn whether you're actually a big city person at this point in your life, or whether your wants/needs are less defined that way.

Thanks again for sharing.

[GypsySoul22]

Glad you are doing so well, Arel.

We have not been back to NY since last year (September). This is now home, even though we moved to a different apartment in a different town.
(and we still have things in boxes AND had to rent storage so you are not alone!).

The only disappointing part of my life here is the lack of jobs--I am so tired of looking for a job.

Sorry about your cat(s).