My child is having problems in school (renting, living)

[blanche82]

Thanks for your feedback

[Chaofan]

Why are you blaming the teacher? It is your son who is not doing the work or following through with his assignments. Maybe you need to stop doing his thinking for him and let him experience the consequences. When I was in the 4th grade, my parents wouldn't have dreamed of hounding the teacher if I wasn't doing my work, nor would they have done any of the work for me. I learned to keep track of what I was supposed to do by being expected to do it.

[bufflove]

Well, at least you realize you need help. Hint: the issue is with your parenting, not the teacher. Of course your kid deserves zeros for not doing their work. The fact your instinct is to pull him out of the school for not being coddled enough by the teacher likely shows the reason why your kid has developed into such a terrible student. The lack of consequences is exactly why your kid doesn't do their work in the first place. Punish the child - including the consequence of a failing grade - until they act and do as they're supposed to.

[Chaofan]

Originally Posted by bufflove

Well, at least you realize you need help. Hint: the issue is with your parenting, not the teacher. Of course your kid deserves zeros for not doing their work. The fact your instinct is to pull him out of the school for not being coddled enough by the teacher likely shows the reason why your kid has developed into such a terrible student. The lack of consequences is exactly why your kid doesn't do their work in the first place. Punish the child - including the consequence of a failing grade - until they act and do as they're supposed to.

Exactly. When he doesn't do his work, he sees you call the teacher. That tells him it's not his responsibility or his fault. He's not being held accountable if you blame the teacher when he doesn't do his work. He does not need to be bailed out, he needs to experience the consequences. The teacher doesn't need to go to a lot of extra effort to "work with you." You need to work with the teacher to allow him to experience the consequences. No make-up after the fact, no bailing out, no excuses, no "mom to the rescue." Consequences. He gets zeroes because he does not do the work. He may need to lose privileges or TV or video game time or whatever has meaning for him in order to get the message.

When he's an adult and missing work deadlines and failing to complete work projects, you're not going to be able to bail him out by complaining to his boss or blaming his supervisor. That's likely to get him fired (if the missed deadlines and failed projects don't do it first). It will be better for him in the long run to learn about the consequences of not meeting expectations or living up to his obligations while he is in the 4th grade than to learn about it when he is an adult trying to support a family.