Bad vibes in small town Western WA (place to live, to eat)

[bad apples]

Originally Posted by PrincessoftheCape

I actually think assimilation is the primary problem here.

I lived for a few years in Texas, and always felt very welcome (true, I agreed a lot more with the local politics, but people didn't know that -- I didn't wear some badge on my arm that said 'voting conservative!'). Texas is a big state with a big heart, and while there are definitely certain groups that they don't generally welcome with open arms, they're typically a little too polite to tell you right to your face that you're unwanted. Turns out that Dixie courtliness has a bit of staying power.

In contrast, I have found people in Washington state to be superficially charming, but ready at a moment's notice to tell you to go jump off the closest bridge. If Texas has an 'open for business, ya'll' sign posted at the front door, Washington's notice reads 'we're full -- get lost.' Over the years I've come up with a number of different personal theories as to why this place feels so unwelcoming to outsiders, but at the end of the day it doesn't really matter why people are made to feel unwelcome if that sentiment persists.

And it's not even a west coast thing, either. In California, I felt people were ambivalent rather than hostile. Everyone was too busy with their own thing to give more than cursory consideration to what the next guy was doing. In Washington, and you'll pardon the parlance, but it seems as if everyone is 'up in everyone else's b'ness.' I am constantly peppered with questions, most of which can be summed up as 'why the heck did you move here?' It's often the second or third thing out of a person's mouth when I meet them.

They know literally nothing about me at that point other than that I, like a huge proportion of those people living in the western part of the state, wasn't born here. In Texas, I was frequently asked 'how do you like the place?,' a question that invites an opinion. On the other hand, 'why did you move here?' always strikes me as being spoken with a note of unfriendly suspicion, as it places the onus on me to defend my choice in my state of residency.

People feel hostility from this place because it is hostile. Nobody is making this up. And the solution is not to tell the off-put newcomer to get bent. Rather, it is to summon up the courage to employ a little self-reflection. If Seattle truly is as unique and special and awesome a place as people believe (it's hard to argue with the scenery; everything else... meh), then why do the locals feel so imperiled by interlopers? Is it perhaps because so much of this place (the ubiquitous 12th man; Oso strong; Mariners beard hats; and so on) can best be summed up as a mish-mash of cultural plagiarism, if only a few outsiders are bold enough to check behind the curtain?

This was exactly how I was treated but I am on the opposite side of politics so you would think I would fit in, not the case. You can write a lot better than me however. My sense of humor was almost always misinterpreted and considered politically incorrect by the locals. Even though in most places my statements would be considered normal and not really offensive. Cultural Plagiarism is the best way I have heard it described. One thing that is really offensive to me is how they act like the Native American culture is their own. I think this is why the natives started calling them "High Muckety Mucks" which is hillarious that First Nations were calling them out on this nearly two hundred years ago.

[MarciaMarshaMarcia]

Well, I tried to start this thread up again because I love Western Washington, I'm a contributing member of society, and yes, I am so so sorry, I moved here from Southern California but it's not my fault, I was born there, my parents were Depression era and worked their asses off all their lives, so did I, I left my home state because of intolerable living conditions that are well-enumerated in this forum, most of which was we just could not afford the crazy COL anymore. I do not want to impose my "California ways" on anyone, I would just like to make some friends and encounter less hostility and blatant nosiness. And less arguing in this forum. I lived in some bad neighborhoods on SoCal, but never once did anyone scream " You f---!" at me like they did the first night I pulled into my driveway in Western WA! Arrgggh! I just am trying to understand how to get along, as I am not a church-attendee and do not want to be a social isolate for the rest of my life. I could make friends in my home state and here I cannot, not even with the CA transplants that I have met, same with my spouse, who is pretty outgoing.

BTW, this is a Washington forum, why are ppl arguing about Texas???

[nowhereman427]

Originally Posted by thisplacesucks

Well, I tried to start this thread up again because I love Western Washington, I'm a contributing member of society, and yes, I am so so sorry, I moved here from Southern California but it's not my fault, I was born there, my parents were Depression era and worked their asses off all their lives, so did I, I left my home state because of intolerable living conditions that are well-enumerated in this forum, most of which was we just could not afford the crazy COL anymore. I do not want to impose my "California ways" on anyone, I would just like to make some friends and encounter less hostility and blatant nosiness. And less arguing in this forum. I lived in some bad neighborhoods on SoCal, but never once did anyone scream " You f---!" at me like they did the first night I pulled into my driveway in Western WA! Arrgggh! I just am trying to understand how to get along, as I am not a church-attendee and do not want to be a social isolate for the rest of my life. I could make friends in my home state and here I cannot, not even with the CA transplants that I have met, same with my spouse, who is pretty outgoing.

BTW, this is a Washington forum, why are ppl arguing about Texas???

EVERYONE in california is in a rush and have no time for no one.

[MarciaMarshaMarcia]

Originally Posted by nowhereman427

EVERYONE in california is in a rush and have no time for no one.

???????????????

[ironbrewer]

I'm a little confused by this whole thread. I'm thinking about moving to a small town in NW Washington. I don't know maybe Anacortes, or LaConner aren't considered small. I have lived In New Jersey, Maine, Colorado, California, and Michigan. We just got back from a week checking out the area.

I thought everybody was way nicer than they are in Colorado. In Colorado there is a big I'm a Native, or worse yet I've lived here 2 years come spend your money, but please leave afterwards vibe. My wife is a Colorado Native and both my children were born there. People with their native coloradan bumper stickers, and please leave after your vacation stickers.

People in Washington were arguing that we should move there. Talking it up. Telling us all the outdoor opportunities that exist. Or how they love the schools. Maybe its because we are relaxed happy people.

We go to Austin all the time and we love it there to. My aunt and uncle live there. I think the worst place I have lived was in Michigan. Everybody was always super nice to your face there, but when a group of people were together and somebody left!? They immediately started bagging on that person, so I naturally figured they would do it to lots of people.

[Fat Freddy]

I have lived in Massachusetts, New York, Oklahoma, Florida, and California before I moved to Washington.

Regardless of where, when, or who else may be in my environment, my life and general state of being has always depended on my actions not theirs.

[bad apples]

Originally Posted by Fat Freddy

I have lived in Massachusetts, New York, Oklahoma, Florida, and California before I moved to Washington.

Regardless of where, when, or who else may be in my environment, my life and general state of being has always depended on my actions not theirs.

That has nothing to do with people being judgmental and rude in general. My state of being was perfectly fine but I didn't like the backwards high school click social scene.

[bad apples]

Originally Posted by ironbrewer

I'm a little confused by this whole thread. I'm thinking about moving to a small town in NW Washington. I don't know maybe Anacortes, or LaConner aren't considered small. I have lived In New Jersey, Maine, Colorado, California, and Michigan. We just got back from a week checking out the area.

I thought everybody was way nicer than they are in Colorado. In Colorado there is a big I'm a Native, or worse yet I've lived here 2 years come spend your money, but please leave afterwards vibe. My wife is a Colorado Native and both my children were born there. People with their native coloradan bumper stickers, and please leave after your vacation stickers.

People in Washington were arguing that we should move there. Talking it up. Telling us all the outdoor opportunities that exist. Or how they love the schools. Maybe its because we are relaxed happy people.

We go to Austin all the time and we love it there to. My aunt and uncle live there. I think the worst place I have lived was in Michigan. Everybody was always super nice to your face there, but when a group of people were together and somebody left!? They immediately started bagging on that person, so I naturally figured they would do it to lots of people.

I wouldn't let this thread change your mind about the move, it is a very beautiful place and worth living in for sure. People that already have families like it a lot better. Single people looking to make new friends and new social scenes don't. The entire northwest shuts down at 10 pm. Some people like it and some don't but keep in mind people are introverted in the PNW in general. It takes some getting used to for people not used to that culture. I would suggest you try it if you have a good job opportunity, they can be hard to come by if you don't already have one lined up. There are a lot of people in Washington with the I am native attitude to but you can ignore it for the most part. I lived there for a while and eventually got tired of the culture, there was just something about it I couldn't get used too. The political correctness of the area is highly understated and many people lack a sense of humor in my opinion. If you like growing chickens in your back yard and talking about how the rest of America is backward you will love it.

[ironbrewer]

My brother in law raises chickens in his back yard. He just moved from years in Manhattan(not Nebraska, New York), and is a national education manager for a large company. I wouldn't call him backwards.

[Fat Freddy]

Originally Posted by bad apples

...My state of being was perfectly fine but I didn't like the backwards high school click social scene.

Then why are you so upset about not being allowed to join?