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I'm in a good friend's wedding next weekend (yikes!) and I'm still undecided on what I what to give her and her future husband as a present. Part of me wants to do something meaningful (I was thinking of a gift certificate to a local nursery so they could get a tree or something for their new house.) But then the other part just wonders if they'd rather have money. Yet, that feels so impersonal. The bride and I have been friends since middle school, and I feel like I should acknowledge that somehow beyond money for towels. So I go back and forth and don't do anything. Suggestions?
Even though it might be the most practical, I wouldn't give money to such a good friend. One of the nicest gifts we got was our wedding invitation in a nice frame. Or, get something off the registry you know they really want above other items.
Even though it might be the most practical, I wouldn't give money to such a good friend. One of the nicest gifts we got was our wedding invitation in a nice frame. Or, get something off the registry you know they really want above other items.
This is good advice, however I do think it can extend to money if that is what the bride really wants. At our wedding, we do have a registry. However, we are also saving up for both a honeymoon and to buy a house. So, money IS what we really want. This doesn't mean all gifts aren't going to be appreciated. My parents are giving us money above and beyond helping to pay for the ceremony.
One of the nicest gifts we got for our wedding was after we'd arrived at the destination - champagne and a gift certificate to a local (expensive) eatery we would have never sprung for, and tickets for a day dive and sail to Jost van Dyke.
Most brides don't see all the wedding presents before the ceremony anyway since people bring things to the reception - so that was kind of my best friend's "personal" moment with us. She actually took the time to mail a handwritten note ahead of time to the people who delivered everything and it was so sweet - about making special memories, new experiences, new marriage. It really was a gift that stood out...which I suppose could be a bad thing if it's done to grab a glory moment, but considering we were so close it ended up being a very personal way of letting us know how special we were to her.
This is good advice, however I do think it can extend to money if that is what the bride really wants. At our wedding, we do have a registry. However, we are also saving up for both a honeymoon and to buy a house. So, money IS what we really want. This doesn't mean all gifts aren't going to be appreciated. My parents are giving us money above and beyond helping to pay for the ceremony.
Well, that's your parents. I feel it is impersonal to give cash to a friend. It just seems weird to me. 13 years later, I still use a lot of our wedding gifts. Some of them remind me of the person who gave them. Other than my personal feelings, and I guess tradition, I don't have a concrete reason for thinking this way. Wedding gifts, are wedding gifts - towels, dishes, cookware, etc. It isn't up to anyone else to help a couple save up to buy a house.
ETA - especially when the OP is in the wedding and most likely had to spend money on a dress or tux, shoes, possibly travel, etc. giving cash, or asking for it, just seems tacky to me.
I've never given anything other than cash for a wedding. That seems to be what's common in our circle -- gift from the registry for the shower and cash for the actual wedding.
If you do decide to buy a physical gift, please have it shipped to their home so they don't have to deal with getting a ton of presents back to the hotel at the end of the night.
[quote=aragx6;24923890]I've never given anything other than cash for a wedding. That seems to be what's common in our circle -- gift from the registry for the shower and cash for the actual wedding.
If you do decide to buy a physical gift, please have it shipped to their home so they don't have to deal with getting a ton of presents back to the hotel at the end of the night.[/quote]
I agree with that. It can also be a security problem. What do you actually do with everything if you go straight to a honeymoon. Someone else needs to bother with the gifts.
Although, I think the idea of bring a present to the actual wedding may be on the decline (at least in some circles). My son was married a week ago, with 80 plus guests, and only one person brought a physical gift to the wedding and only a few people brought cards. Everything else was mailed/shipped to their apartment before the wedding.
I've been married 35 years ago and there are still a quite a few things around that we received as shower or wedding gifts (I mean some things wore out, were used up, broke, etc) . Perhaps I'm different but I can still name who purchased what gifts, but when it comes to money I don't remember if someone gave it at all or was stingy or extra generous.
I agree that something special regarding their honeymoon may be a great present. A gift card to a great restaurant in that city, flowers and wine in their hotel room or something like that.
Or something special like a picture frame or candlesticks with a personal note may be nice..
My signature gifts are bed trays...real nice ones or even one, for breakfast in bed, for when someone is sick, it can be a romantic practical item. I use mine for my computer.
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