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I felt bad making them pay for everything, so we split it: I payed for the dresses and flowers (I made the bouquets myself), but they were on their own for alterations and if they wanted to get their hair done.
Had two bridesmaids at my first wedding and I paid for their dresses.
Not even having bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. I certainly would never expect my friends to spend around a grand just to stand next to me while I get married and have my picture taken. I personally think it's silly.
I would also politely decline an invitation to be a bridesmaid. I don't know any bridezillas, but I have better things to spend my money on. Thankfully, so do most of my friends and they haven't gone for the huge frou-frou wedding.
I was the MOH in a friend's wedding a couple of years ago and I certainly didn't have to lay out anywhere near a thousand dollars. Unless you are in a very high income bracket and all of your attendants are too, that seems like way too much to ask of someone for YOUR party.
My costs were something like:
$140 for the dress
$40 for alterations
$30 for shoes (not necessary--they just had to be silver--but I wasn't going to pass up an occasion for new shoes!)
$10 for a shower gift (the bridesmaids went in on something small and thoughtful)
$200 for bachelorette party liquor (I paid for everything, so there was no cost to other bridesmaids)
$30 for hair, and we did our own makeup (well, I suck at makeup so another girl in the wedding party did mine)
So the average bridesmaid in that wedding would have spent somewhere between $230 and $260, depending on whether she bought new shoes for the occasion. I spent roughly $460, which I considered to be quite a bit but I was willing to pay to be a part of my best friend's wedding. I would have been a lot less happy to fork our more than double that amount for her party.
Bridesmaids at one time had their entire wardrobe paid for or furnished by the brides family. Now theres undo demand on them by the bride to kick it up a notch and cost no object. To be real honest Im surprised there are still those who think its honor to be recruited and be told what it will cost them. Parents of the bride most often go into hock to put on the Queen for the day wedding. If the bride had to foot all the bills you would be seeing less extravagant displays. Its not for the bride to dictate what is a reasonable amount one should be able to afford! No sympathy here girlfriend and for future bridesmaids everywhere just say No. Heres a great business proposition for the entrepreneurs out there. Create bridesmaids for hire so when friends become scarce the bride can rent a wedding party at her expense.
I was the MOH in a friend's wedding a couple of years ago and I certainly didn't have to lay out anywhere near a thousand dollars. Unless you are in a very high income bracket and all of your attendants are too, that seems like way too much to ask of someone for YOUR party.
My costs were something like:
$140 for the dress
$40 for alterations
$30 for shoes (not necessary--they just had to be silver--but I wasn't going to pass up an occasion for new shoes!)
$10 for a shower gift (the bridesmaids went in on something small and thoughtful)
$200 for bachelorette party liquor (I paid for everything, so there was no cost to other bridesmaids)
$30 for hair, and we did our own makeup (well, I suck at makeup so another girl in the wedding party did mine)
So the average bridesmaid in that wedding would have spent somewhere between $230 and $260, depending on whether she bought new shoes for the occasion. I spent roughly $460, which I considered to be quite a bit but I was willing to pay to be a part of my best friend's wedding. I would have been a lot less happy to fork our more than double that amount for her party.
I was a bridesmaid twice. Both times the bride (or bride's parents) paid for my dress, my shoes, my hair-do. We did our own make-up and manicures (if desired). I helped plan and pay for small showers for the brides.
When I got married I paid for, or offered to pay for, all of the bridesmaid dresses and the bill at the hairdresser. They wore their own shoes (they did not need to match) and everyone did their own make-up and manicures (if desired).
My bridesmaids planned and paid for a small shower.
I have never, either as a bride, bridesmaid or guest been invited to or attended a bachelorette party.
When my son was married all bridesmaid were asked to wear their favorite pastel summer dress and whatever shoes or sandals were appropriate for that dress. No one needed to do fancy hair or make-up or have fancy manicures so there was not any additional costs.
If I was asked to spend $1,000 to be in a friend's wedding party I would probably say "Hell, No". It wouldn't matter if I had five years to "save up". That is inappropriate to ask your friends to spend that much money.
If they couldn't be a bridesmaid then I would have understood and no problem. I figure people would understand how much some things are. I"m sure if someone couldn't be a bridesmaid then they would have told me. Also hopefully they would have told way before hand and not couple months before the wedding. I understand if something big happens like a illness I would tottaly understand that.
My one friend/bridesmaid said she spent 800 on the wedding for me. I did some numbers and it came out to be 620. That was just a rough estimate tho. Plus that wasn't even any shower or wedding gifts. I never did hear of the bride paying for the bridesmaids. But I do like hearing people opinions about this tho. This is my only 2 thread that I started in these forums.
This is not true. It is nice that you paid for your bridesmaid's dresses, but your statement is incorrect.
"With the exception of parasols, or muffs or fans, which are occasionally carried in place of bouquets and presented by the bride, every article worn by the bridesmaids, flower girls or pages, although chosen by the bride, must be paid for by the wearers." -1922, Emily Post
1922 was 93 yes ago and things changed some since then. About fell over reading the Emily Post quote.
Ok so anyways I'm the bride and I already had my wedding. One of the annoying things I hear is bridesmaids complaining about how much things are. Its just not about my wedding I hear about other bridesmaids complain in other friends weddings. Ok so anyways I would say its about 800 to 1000 dollars to be a bridesmaid. This is dress,shoes,hair,shower,bachelorette, dressalterations and other things as well. I don't get people that complain about how much things are. You are asked to be a bridesmaid and yes it cost money. Most people have a year or more to save up for this. I saved up for my wedding so why can't other people save up? I think people don't think before they say yes to being a bridesmaid.
Now all my stuff was in town and it wasn't like I was like for my bachelorette party "Oh hey everyone lets go to Vegas!" I just bothers me when people complain about the brides choices. The dresses I picked fitted everyone and they were in the normal range. I told everyone this is how much dresses would cost. Plus I gave them a idea of what other things would cost. Also for the flower girl I told the parents before the place would dye the shoes she needed to try them on. This was close to the wedding and good thing she finally got in there because they didn't fit. At least they had time to get another size. There are certain things that need to be done by a certain date to get things done in time. Dresses and shoes need to be done in time so they are ready for the wedding. Then when its time to do the shower people complain oh its how much? Yes it cost money to provide money for people to eat. Also don't forget about the decorations. We even did this at a house so we didn't even have hall rental for my shower. No I didn't plan my own stuff but I was a bridesmaid before and I was like the total would probably be this much. Then I tell the girls how much hair,makeup and nails would be. Yes you don't have to get makeup and nails done but I thought it would be fun.
Then usually the last thing to be done is the bachelorette party. I didn't even plan this either but my Mom had to cover one person because they didn't have enough money. I think most people have no idea how much it is to be a bridesmaid and just sit there and complain. Guess what? I'm going to be a bridesmaid next year and I'm not going to complain how much things are. I think it would be rude for the bride to pay for my dress or hair,nails or anything else because I'm not resonsible with my money when I know her wedding is coming up. I'm actually responsible and will save up money for everything it cost to be a bridesmaid. Would I consider my self a bridezilla? Um no because just because I give you a date when you have to order the dress isn't a brideszilla. Or just anything other stupid things come up you will complain. I think most people think oh 300(just throwing a random number out) for everything? No 300 isn't going to cover for everything to be a bridesmaid Just a little rant but I was wondering how other brides/bridesmaids think of this.
Did you tell your bridesmaids in advance that it would probably cost them $800 to $1,000 to be a bridesmaid in your wedding or just assume that they knew that?
Perhaps, you should have explained "The dresses cost $150 and that is due January 1st. Alternations will cost up to $75 and that is due February 1st. I am ordering shoes to match. They cost $75 and need to be paid by March 1st. But, you will be able to wear them again." "I'm booking hair, make-up and manicures for everyone for the wedding, and that will cost $150 plus about $30 for a tip, if you want that done. You will need to pay for that the day before the wedding."
(I'm still confused why they need to spend $800 to $1,000, unless the dresses are a lot more expensive or you expect them to spent a lot on your wedding shower and bachelorette party. Unless you live in a high cost of living area, I am still shocked at that amount.)
Like I was saying it came out more to be 620 or so. I said 800 to 1000 before I actually added everything up. Sorry about that. It was late last night that I started my post. But I did talk to my one friend and she told me she spent 800. So maybe she spent a little more than the others? The 800 was everything plus shower, and wedding gift. But the 620 that I came up with is for dress,alterations,shoes,hair,makeup,nails,shower,b achelorette party.
Yes they were there for when we picked out the dresses. Then later on couple months later we picked out the shoes. Then we told them months before how much hair,makeup and nails would be. We booked everything in advance so we got the details done and we wouldn't have to run around later thinking about it. Then my mom and sister helped with the shower and bachelorette party as well as my bridesmaids. We had about 50 at the shower and about 15 at the bachelorette party. I have a large family so that probably up the cost as well.
I have a sneaking suspicion that if the OP's bridesmaids refused, we would be reading a post about how awful her friends are.
A good bride/good friend does not make her attendants fork out 800-1000 dollars.
It is awful that yours had to spend so much....
I would be complaining also.
^^This!!
My daughter's bridesmaids wore navy blue eyelet sundresses from Old Navy that were $35!
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