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Like I was saying it came out more to be 620 or so. I said 800 to 1000 before I actually added everything up. Sorry about that. It was late last night that I started my post. But I did talk to my one friend and she told me she spent 800. So maybe she spent a little more than the others? The 800 was everything plus shower, and wedding gift. But the 620 that I came up with is for dress,alterations,shoes,hair,makeup,nails,shower,b achelorette party.
Yes they were there for when we picked out the dresses. Then later on couple months later we picked out the shoes. Then we told them months before how much hair,makeup and nails would be. We booked everything in advance so we got the details done and we wouldn't have to run around later thinking about it. Then my mom and sister helped with the shower and bachelorette party as well as my bridesmaids. We had about 50 at the shower and about 15 at the bachelorette party. I have a large family so that probably up the cost as well.
Thanks for the update.
If your bridesmaids helped pick out the dress and shoes and knew about the cost in advance then they should not complain.
I have never even seen 50 people at a wedding shower (around my area there usually are only 10 or 12 guests, maybe 20 if there are a lot of relatives) . That seems like a pretty big expense for your bridesmaids (even if your mom and sister shared the cost) to pay for food for everyone (50 guests), unless it was something really simple like buying one large sheet cake and coffee. If there were also snacks or sandwiches or (yikes!) wine /liquor (or all three) it could really add up fast to be a huge, huge expense.
Like I was saying it came out more to be 620 or so. I said 800 to 1000 before I actually added everything up. Sorry about that. It was late last night that I started my post. But I did talk to my one friend and she told me she spent 800. So maybe she spent a little more than the others? The 800 was everything plus shower, and wedding gift. But the 620 that I came up with is for dress,alterations,shoes,hair,makeup,nails,shower,b achelorette party.
Yes they were there for when we picked out the dresses. Then later on couple months later we picked out the shoes. Then we told them months before how much hair,makeup and nails would be. We booked everything in advance so we got the details done and we wouldn't have to run around later thinking about it. Then my mom and sister helped with the shower and bachelorette party as well as my bridesmaids. We had about 50 at the shower and about 15 at the bachelorette party. I have a large family so that probably up the cost as well.
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses and that's it.
For hair, makeup, accessories etc... I'm paying. It just made sense to me that if I want them to have certain hair, nails, makeup and accessories that it's a cost I should cover since it's something I want. Not to mention the makeup and hair people I'm hiring for the wedding day will do everyone. I can't imagine asking my bridesmaids to chip in for things like hair and makeup.
My shower and bachelorette parties are being planned and paid for by women who offered. I never said hey you're my bridesmaid so you need to pay $xx for your part of the shower.
Most importantly though, If I had a bridesmaid I knew couldn't afford it I would cover her cost because it's important to me that she be a part of my special day.
1922 was 93 yes ago and things changed some since then. About fell over reading the Emily Post quote.
and thank goodness they have changed.
My response was to TN2HSV's comment of "Well, according to the "old" rules (strictly following wedding etiquette).......".
All these crazy weddings I have attended this summer has been a real eye-opener for me as a parent. It has also created an opportunity to have open discussions now with my adult children on financial expectations for their "big day". Some of these discussions have been positive, some, not so much. Either way, I am glad to have this out in the open now.
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses and that's it.
For hair, makeup, accessories etc... I'm paying. It just made sense to me that if I want them to have certain hair, nails, makeup and accessories that it's a cost I should cover since it's something I want. Not to mention the makeup and hair people I'm hiring for the wedding day will do everyone. I can't imagine asking my bridesmaids to chip in for things like hair and makeup.
My shower and bachelorette parties are being planned and paid for by women who offered. I never said hey you're my bridesmaid so you need to pay $xx for your part of the shower.
Most importantly though, If I had a bridesmaid I knew couldn't afford it I would cover her cost because it's important to me that she be a part of my special day.
That's what I've been wondering about: do only bridesmaids who can swing the expense make the cut?
That's what I've been wondering about: do only bridesmaids who can swing the expense make the cut?
I think it is selfish of anyone to think that these things must cost so much. They do not have to!
These are the bridesmaid dresses I chose at David's Bridal. Two of my bridesmaids were able to buy it used online for $20! And no one would have known! I also don't think any one of them had the dress altered. I chose to not shop at whatever couture specialty boutique for that reason! It was nice to decide early so they could search to find the used dress in the right color, too.
And I sure as heck wouldn't expect them to spend a ton of money to host a huge shower.
LMAO "they had a year to save up" gosh, yes, that is definitely a long term savings goal, saving up $1000 to be ordered around by a bridezilla and dress up in a costume that I will never, ever wear again and cater to their every whim.....gee that sounds much better than my actual long term savings goals, where do I sign up?? "I saved up for my wedding, why can't other people save up??" Because your wedding is important to YOU and not nearly as important to anyone else, that's why. How selfish can you be?
You expect someone to do all this work for you to "honor" you and pay for the privilege, either using up their savings or going into debt? What a great friend.
I seriously think some people should just hire models or actors to be in their wedding...
You're kidding, right? You think nothing of asking someone to spend $1000 to be in your wedding?
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No, it isn't traditional for the family of the bride to buy the bridesmaid's dresses, but it is nice to keep everyone's finances in mind. I got mine at an outlet for $75 each. A friend of mine really liked some that were about $250 so she and her parents paid for part of them. (This was all about 15 years ago).
If they couldn't be a bridesmaid then I would have understood and no problem. I figure people would understand how much some things are. I"m sure if someone couldn't be a bridesmaid then they would have told me. Also hopefully they would have told way before hand and not couple months before the wedding. I understand if something big happens like a illness I would tottaly understand that.
My one friend/bridesmaid said she spent 800 on the wedding for me. I did some numbers and it came out to be 620. That was just a rough estimate tho. Plus that wasn't even any shower or wedding gifts. I never did hear of the bride paying for the bridesmaids. But I do like hearing people opinions about this tho. This is my only 2 thread that I started in these forums.
Generally, when you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, they have no idea if you're going to choose a $50 dress or a $300 dress, if they'll have to buy matching shoes, or throw a shower for 50 people, or travel for the bachelorette party. No, they wouldn't have said no right up front because they wouldn't have known.
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses and that's it.
For hair, makeup, accessories etc... I'm paying. It just made sense to me that if I want them to have certain hair, nails, makeup and accessories that it's a cost I should cover since it's something I want. Not to mention the makeup and hair people I'm hiring for the wedding day will do everyone. I can't imagine asking my bridesmaids to chip in for things like hair and makeup.
My shower and bachelorette parties are being planned and paid for by women who offered. I never said hey you're my bridesmaid so you need to pay $xx for your part of the shower.
Most importantly though, If I had a bridesmaid I knew couldn't afford it I would cover her cost because it's important to me that she be a part of my special day.
For my own, and every wedding I was ever in, The bridesmaids paid for their own dresses, shoes, hair, and nails. I had a friend help us with makeup. Jewelry was generally a gift to the maids from the bride.
My maid of honor gave me a small shower. No one else was asked to chip in, as far as I know.
Your last sentence - definitely!
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and thank goodness they have changed. 
They do not have to!
