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Is it possible the SIL is bringing along her friend to keep an eye on her young kids while she is occupied with wedding party details? Just think of her as a babysitter who will enjoy a meal otherwise going to waste if there are no-shows.
It doesnt seem that way but maybe. I’d have a lot more respect if that were the case. Her oldest is 15 though, hardly needs looking after ...
Is it possible the SIL is bringing along her friend to keep an eye on her young kids while she is occupied with wedding party details? Just think of her as a babysitter who will enjoy a meal otherwise going to waste if there are no-shows.
That's a really good point. Someone is needed to keep an eye on the kids while Mom is performing bridal party duties.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181
It doesnt seem that way but maybe. I’d have a lot more respect if that were the case. Her oldest is 15 though, hardly needs looking after ...
Even a 15-year old may need guidance on wedding/reception protocols. Not to mention the younger 2 siblings. Do you have a bridal party table or are your party members mixed amongst the crowd? (I've seen it done both ways)
1)She does not even have to attend (*best choice*)
2)She could order Dominos to be delivered for the kids
3)She could pack a bag lunch for the kids (this is what I would do)
Besides the fact that this is pretty tacky, I doubt a high-end wedding venue is going to allow pizza to be delivered or bag lunches for kids trotted in and opened at the table.
Now the SIL asks to bring a guest which ends up being my MIL's friend, makes me think my MIL put my SIL up to it so she could have a friend there.
No complaining! You are walking into a family with this sort of drama with your eyes wide open. Laugh it off or you will still be complaining five, ten years from now over the same stuff.
No complaining! You are walking into a family with this sort of drama with your eyes wide open. Laugh it off or you will still be complaining five, ten years from now over the same stuff.
You will surely get some of that despite these relatives. Just remember that in the long run, it really doesn't matter. The wedding day memories will fade as real life takes over. Just make sure the music is good and everyone gets up and dances.
Now the SIL asks to bring a guest which ends up being my MIL's friend, makes me think my MIL put my SIL up to it so she could have a friend there.
When you said that it was a female friend, and not a significant other, I suspected that there was "more to the story".
When my husband and I planned our guest list our general guideline was that we invited people that we knew and liked. Yes, a few were close friends of our parents, but they were more like "family friends" or people, such as neighbors, that we grew up with. These were people who we might invite to dinner or to our home or go to their home independent of our parents. We set the guest list not our parents, but some of the guests were family friends and long time neighbors.
When you said that it was a female friend, and not a significant other, I suspected that there was "more to the story".
When my husband and I planned our guest list our general guideline was that we invited people that we knew and liked. Yes, a few were close friends of our parents, but they were more like "family friends" or people, such as neighbors, that we grew up with. These were people who we might invite to dinner or to our home or go to their home independent of our parents. We set the guest list not our parents, but some of the guests were family friends and long time neighbors.
Honestly if his mom was like "can I invite one friend?" we would have been fine with it. The way my SIL/MIL (?) went about it is all wrong.
My wife and I were fine with each other choosing members of his/her wedding party. I told her she didn't have to choose my sister if she didn't want to. My wife told me I didn't have to choose her brothers.
There was no drama when I chose my cousin and two friends, and didn't ask the brothers to be in the wedding party. My sister wasn't happy that my wife didn't choose her. A hissy fit was thrown. We didn't budge. The siblings not chosen for the wedding party got to do Scripture readings at the wedding Mass. We thought that was a nice way to include them.
$160/plate for a fish dinner is just insane. Lots of places are fancy and don't charge nearly as much. It comes across rather ridiculous to complain about the marginal cost for a handful of meals (having to pay the adult vs. the children price) when you're paying 160 clams a head for the entire house of guests. If you don't want to pay it, then just change it to a kid's meal without saying anything, and when it comes up at the wedding (and it will) just say "oops, sorry" and go about with your day.
The fact that we've had to tell you that is a little sad. But, this OP has a habit of starting threads that ask for advice on matters that a functioning adult can usually figure out for him or herself provided that he or she has the courage of conviction to choose a course of action and stick with it. After all, this was the OP who panicked about having to cook for herself with the fiance out of town. Oh good grief.
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