back to normal in time for a winter wedding....or different suggestions? (invite, fiance)

[TashaPosh]

As we all know the last couple of months have been super weird....AND I have seen more & more weddings being canceled or delayed as the months go by. First I thought our wedding was so far away....NYE....that it would no way affect it. Tbh....now I am starting to have thoughts it's a real possibility if things don't get back to normal by the fall or we have another spike. There is too much we don't know...AND I don't want everybody wearing masks at my wedding or afraid to come to it.......so.......

What do you think the chances are that things will be back to normal AND if they aren't..........what are suggestions for a smaller wedding or elopement that would be exciting....super fun....or unique? We could always have the big celebration later IMO.

It's super hard to still try to plan or be excited when it looms over your head what normal will be like then. Thank you..........

[Sonic_Spork]

It is hard. As someone who has done the dance of adjusting my plans and expectations more than once now due to COVID, I'll tell you...

I believe that two people who are in love and determined can make a wonderful, special thing happen even in isolation. Find out what the minimum requirements of your state are...do you need an officiant, witnesses, and so on? How are people getting married with social distancing in effect where you live? Just know what is possible and what is not.

If worse comes to worse and you can't really celebrate with other people, think about a romantic escape. Find someplace not too far away that you could get to, look at VRBO and AirBnB and see if you can find a place that would be magical. As you said, you can always do the big party later on!

As far as I know, I still have a photographer who is going to come get shots of us in our fancy clothes as we speak our vows. I'm still getting delicious cake from the wedding cake bakery, just less of it. I am still making my own dress (and yes, it's coming along, and yes, I'll share pictures when I feel comfortable doing so...not quite there yet, but I'll get there.)

And I am planning a much larger party hopefully next year (no telling honestly) where we'll put our wedding finery back on, and share a slideshow of the photos from our "getaway" wedding, and I'm sure we'll be feeling pretty celebratory to have gotten through this crisis alive and able to gather with our loved ones again.

One thing I cannot stress enough as you consider different possibilities, is to pay VERY serious attention to cancellation policies. I'm out $1,000 on one cancellation I had to do. Money wasted that I cannot get back. And in fact, that is a compromise I reached with negotiation, as the contract I had with that venue allowed them to charge me a total of $1,801.32 for the cancellation at that point, and they were going to, but I haggled it down some.

You are really too far out in my opinion to be booking the big stuff right now, but I'd start thinking of alternatives.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

One thing I cannot stress enough as you consider different possibilities, is to pay VERY serious attention to cancellation policies. I'm out $1,000 on one cancellation I had to do. Money wasted that I cannot get back. And in fact, that is a compromise I reached with negotiation, as the contract I had with that venue allowed them to charge me a total of $1,801.32 for the cancellation at that point, and they were going to, but I haggled it down some.

You are really too far out in my opinion to be booking the big stuff right now, but I'd start thinking of alternatives.

Thank you.......my fiance is handling the cancellation stuff & contracts....if it comes to that. He even got me out of a lease last year when we moved in together. We already had to book the big stuff tho.........because it's a large wedding for NYE. Matter of fact...the 6 month push is almost here.

I'm hanging on that we will be able to pull it off as planned.......BUT ita it can be romantic & special even if we have to change it. How far away is your wedding now....2 months?

The hardest part tho is just not knowing.......planning or being excited about it but knowing that it could get canceled.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

Thank you.......my fiance is handling the cancellation stuff & contracts....if it comes to that. He even got me out of a lease last year when we moved in together. We already had to book the big stuff tho.........because it's a large wedding for NYE. Matter of fact...the 6 month push is almost here.

I'm hanging on that we will be able to pull it off as planned.......BUT ita it can be romantic & special even if we have to change it. How far away is your wedding now....2 months?

The hardest part tho is just not knowing.......planning or being excited about it but knowing that it could get canceled.

Yes, 2 months.

My fiance and I are both into a sort of Zen philosophy...for me it comes somewhat naturally, but many of my personal beliefs and behaviors have been affirmed by what he talks about with the reading he's done, the self-help books he has collected and read... A huge thing with that, is not being very attached to outcomes.

Like all of my future plans are written in pencil, they're very detailed, I've put a lot of time and thought into all of them...but they can be adjusted. And I expect they will. But because I've put the work in, already, I have a framework to adjust them in that helps me with the process.

So we had that whole big thing planned, at the convention, with all of our friends and a famous person to officiate and it was gonna be amazing.

That had to get cancelled, but I could easily come up with another plan, that will be fun in a different way, special and wonderful, and a lot less stressful to arrange, and less costly. Looking on the bright side, it will be more relaxing, maybe more fun than the original plan in some ways. Cool!

The first plan would have been good, the second plan...also good.

Well, the second plan was to book this one place that could host up to 15 people. I booked it with travel insurance (seemed like a good idea at the time.) Then I realized that even 10-15 people was going to be too many, and I didn't know if any would venture out, if it would be legally allowed to have over 10.... OK so that plan had to get the boot, too. Funny, the only money I lost when I cancelled that booking was what I paid for the insurance!

Plan C. Still going with VRBO type properties, but looking for a smaller (and less expensive) one. Found this place with a small river running by the property and a fire pit down by the water and a hot tub, in a gorgeous scenic and remote mountain town, secluded from the neighbors but not too far off the beaten path. There is ONE COUPLE besides us, that I hope can join us...but if they can't? That's OK too. We'll have a getaway like a honeymoon, just the two of us and that would also be lovely. It houses up to 6 people.

And I'm not heartbroken. Not really all that disappointed (though I acknowledge the original idea was pretty cool and all.) Honestly ALL I WANT is for us to get married, and for it to feel special. Not a freaking trip to the courthouse like it was with my first husband, that just felt like running a tiresome errand. Magic and romance can take many forms. I just don't want it to be absent altogether.

For a while there, it was hard for me to think or put effort into planning the wedding, yes. Mainly that impacted my work on the dress. Because I was feeling a bit discouraged that every time I did all that planning work, I had to scrap my idea and try again. I was afraid...what if I actually am not skilled enough to create my dress? What if that goes wrong, too? And when I'm stressed or discouraged, I avoid things. I hunkered down and the days blended together, and now it's 2 months away...but I think that's actually plenty of time for what I'm trying to do, and I'm back in the saddle with that project and it's going well.

[TashaPosh]

We haven't come up with another plan yet.....BUT that's why I'm asking for suggestions.

Ita that the 2nd plan can be just as special & romantic.....maybe even better. Lots of pictures are important to me. I just want to marry him AND I don't care if it's with 50 or 500 people. BUT I wish I knew what or which way to plan. I will feel better if we have a backup.

[germaine2626]

IMHO, a lot depends on who you are planning to invite to your wedding. Elderly parents, grandparents and aunts & uncles may not feel comfortable attending especially if they need to fly to attend your wedding. However, if most of your guests are younger and local it may not impact your wedding very much at all.

December is a long way off and it is impossible to predict what will be happening at that time. It is possible that everything may be almost back to normal or there may be a second or third wave of the coronavirus and/or a mutation of the virus and the situation may be much, much worse.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by germaine2626

IMHO, a lot depends on who you are planning to invite to your wedding. Elderly parents, grandparents and aunts & uncles may not feel comfortable attending especially if they need to fly to attend your wedding. However, if most of your guests are younger and local it may not impact your wedding very much at all.
[b]

Most of the guests we are planning to invite are local... 30s & 40s...some 50s. It's my grandparents & my groom's father that I'm worried about the most. My grandparents could drive tho with my parents or my sister if it came to that ....tho they were all planning to fly before. We'll have to wait & see.......

[TashaPosh]

So....a plan B is coming about......I'm thinking about a wedding in our home & in the back yard, deck & patio. People could spread out. It's still super sad to let go of our original plans...BUT...I started to get excited over this idea on the weekend. We could set up a decorated gazebo with lots of floral about....have super amazing & personal views for pictures AND....do it like an open house party so that there isn't a big grp of ppl all at one time. I'm liking it way more than anything else so far. Weather is the only problem tho.....IMO the date would have to be changed. Any thoughts........thank you.

[gobucks86]

I think you have a lot of time for it to be normal, per se. I am getting married in a few weeks. We are still having the church ceremony and reception at a reception hall. Granted, Ohio has announced masks being mandatory - However, in the church me, my fiancée, and priest do NOT have to wear one, nor will guests have to wear one in pictures. The church understands all of that. Also, the reception hall is not going to ENFORNCE the masks (breaking the law but they are family friends lol), but will have tables set up 6 feet apart and such. Dancing will be a go and we are having the DJ. Guests are of course encouraged to wear a mask if they are more comfortable that way.

Basically, our wedding is going to be pretty "normal". We're having over 100 guests, although MANY have denied due to Corona and some cannot travel from out of state. However, you still have a lot of time until your wedding and things could change for the better.

All in all, I sympathize with you. Planning a wedding during all of this has been miserable, frankly. Most of the joy was taken away. Lots of stress on what to do, should we postpone, blah blah blah. I'm getting more excited now that we are a few weeks away, but I'll be happy when it's over. Then I won't care what wedding changes our governor will once again make when I'm done with it.

Best of luck!!!!!

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by gobucks86

I think you have a lot of time for it to be normal, per se. I am getting married in a few weeks. We are still having the church ceremony and reception at a reception hall. Granted, Ohio has announced masks being mandatory - However, in the church me, my fiancée, and priest do NOT have to wear one, nor will guests have to wear one in pictures. The church understands all of that. Also, the reception hall is not going to ENFORNCE the masks (breaking the law but they are family friends lol), but will have tables set up 6 feet apart and such. Dancing will be a go and we are having the DJ. Guests are of course encouraged to wear a mask if they are more comfortable that way.

Basically, our wedding is going to be pretty "normal". We're having over 100 guests, although MANY have denied due to Corona and some cannot travel from out of state. However, you still have a lot of time until your wedding and things could change for the better.

All in all, I sympathize with you. Planning a wedding during all of this has been miserable, frankly. Most of the joy was taken away. Lots of stress on what to do, should we postpone, blah blah blah. I'm getting more excited now that we are a few weeks away, but I'll be happy when it's over. Then I won't care what wedding changes our governor will once again make when I'm done with it.

Best of luck!!!!!

We don't have the worry about a church & all that stuff.........my fiance has a personal friend that is a judge that is going to marry us. Ita tho.......it's super hard to keep planning it......we orginally thought 400 ppl for our wedding celebration when our plans started last year. I stress about it a lot.....& think about it daily. I get sad when I think about how excited about it I was last year.

BUT....now that we kinda have a plan B starting.........I'm super excited & happy again. IMO....it could work out really well tho the number of ppl will be less ofc. It's so much more personal.......& we wouldn't have a really large crowd at any one time. It would be like an "open house" party....ppl coming & going. We could have a buffet & music & still do our mini wine bottle favors with our label. Lots of floral & pictures! The only problem tho.........our original wedding date would not be a good time to do a half outdoor wedding at home with a gazebo or tent......so our date will have to be changed.

Thank you tho.....& have an amazing wedding in a couple of weeks! There is another poster in this thread that is getting married in a couple weeks too.......she made her own wedding dress!!!!

Best of luck to you & Happy Wedding Day!