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I've been to recent weddings with "wishing well" receptions. Basically, bride and groom set up a "wishing well" for guests to drop cards into (if it includes money - cool. If not, cool - thanks for the good wishes). I think it's more practical for everyone involved. I "the guest" don't have to search for a breadmaker that someone has probably already bought, and you "the happy couple" can use the cash for whatever you need.
Money is always given at weddings in our family and where I am from. Very few people give you gifts (except at the shower). No not up here but NY...nothing like a NY wedding...$$$
Money is always given at weddings in our family and where I am from. Very few people give you gifts (except at the shower). No not up here but NY...nothing like a NY wedding...$$$
Yes, I have given money as gifts before, and I know that many ethnic customs include giving money. I don't think it's a rude gift to give, but I don't think it's nice to ask for it.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-03-2010 at 06:08 PM..
Reason: Ha, I mistyped "Yes," and it came out "Yesm." Yesm Miss Gypsy!
I think that would be totally inappropriate...if someone comes and gives from the goodness of their heart then someone should not tell them what to give. Most people give money for weddings anyway.
I went to a Bridal shower last year and it turned out that the Bride planned everything and she was assigning everyone what to give her...not me I bought her something different and the look on her face was so snotty. I bought something not on the list but really nice because it is my money and a lot of thought went into the gift that I bought.
The purpose of inviting someone to your special day is because you want them to share that special day with you and to have a good time and not for specific gifts. Little tacky sorry.
I think if I were being invited to a wedding based on what I can give then I would not attend.
Money is always given at weddings in our family and where I am from. Very few people give you gifts (except at the shower).
It is undoubtedly the custom in some cultures and communities to give cash as a wedding gift. The OP's question, however, was effectively "how do I tell people that I want cash and not what they might otherwise give me?" There's no polite way to say that because it is, at it's heart, an impolite sentiment. She should graciously accept as a gift anything that her guests are willing to give her, and NOT try to dictate or set expectations.
It is undoubtedly the custom in some cultures and communities to give cash as a wedding gift. The OP's question, however, was effectively "how do I tell people that I want cash and not what they might otherwise give me?" There's no polite way to say that because it is, at it's heart, an impolite sentiment. She should graciously accept as a gift anything that her guests are willing to give her, and NOT try to dictate or set expectations.
I agree with you and Julia, of course. Emily Post or some other etiquette person will tell you it's rude to ask for cash.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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It's funny how people automatically assume graduates want monetary gifts but when it comes to newlyweds, we get so arrogant about our idea of what the gift should be and act as if it should be considered sacred. Kind of arrogant, I think. Why pretend money wouldn't help newlyweds? They shouldn't have to ask. Maybe they shouldn't have to be put in the position to have to ask. If we're going to give them gifts maybe we could consider asking them what they prefer, gifts or cash, or assume someone starting out their new lives together will perhaps need....duhhhh...money? No brainer.
not sure if anyone mentioned this in the previous 6 pages, but i saw someone write "no boxed gifts, please" on their invitation. so then i think they'd get cash or gift certificates
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