two rivers, wi- thoughts for family of lgbt member (Milwaukee: for sale, lofts)
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We are leaving a southern town in Fl. My son (while we aren't open about this) is a young person about to enter college and is transgender (f to m). He presents well and most don't question at all at first meeting but can after knowing him any time. We have friends here in a small number but when we encounter hate, it's been aggressive and very cruel with no support from law enforcement for bullying and school rights. I don't need to go into details to say that in the past 5 years, he has had a very difficult time. He has been unable to get work except to help us with our job as contractors. He is going away to school but needs a couple years customer service work to be able to be accepted for the travel positions he would like to train for. We also have to think of bathroom use and laws. There have never been problems thus far even here but we need to be sure he can be safe and comfortable in this as well. We mapped most of the restrooms anywhere we go that are singular restrooms (gas stations, etc) but he has used a Mcdonalds and walmart one before as well without any problems here.
We are looking for a place where we can live privately and in peace. He was able to obtain his GED even though his last testing center was closed for a couple days recently, due to the hate against transgender and protests (just after the election) outside the center. It really scared us- we've been facing angry and offensive things thrown at us and a lot of loss of friends after understanding our son's transgender for years but we never saw so much violence. We put our home up for sale and are expected to close in a few months. We own the home outright and have a healthy savings but we pay a lot in costs to help my son (along with having a 16 year old daughter whom we've been home schooling this past year). We can afford to purchase a home outright and can find work doing anything while maintaining our savings.
Research and a love of what my husband and I would like from an area took us to Two Rivers, WI. We don't want nor expect to be welcomed but would like to live in a place where my son can live without anger and hate against him and where he can at least drive to a job even outside the area (we were thinking to work in Manitowoc?) and just get his feet wet before he can get to training on what he loves. We have to think of our daughter too as she has a future and deserves a safe neighborhood to grow up in. We can continue to home school her but she's gone through a lot too and is a pretty special kid; she can need a normal time with a friend or two she can keep.
This is difficult for me to post; please understand this is a mother and a family whom loves their family member and just wanting to live in peace. We don't want to move to a place our family can suffer more. My husband and I really want to be in an area where we can walk in the neighborhood every day; we camp, we love nature and we live for our two chihuahuas. We are responsible people whom would like to go into retirement with some sort of hope to be in a place we can love and have our family happy.
The choice of Two Rivers is an interesting thing for me, as it would never occur to me that someone would want to move there from Florida. Is you career linked to the shipbuilding industry in Manitowoc or somehow tied to the area there that it is a target location for you?
I lived all my life in WI until two years ago and my career took me quite literally all over the state. Ironically, the Lake Michigan shoreline north of Milwaukee is probably the area I am least familiar with, but still know it somewhat. It is beautiful, But overall it isn't a target destination for very many people. There are some pockets there, in or near Madison, and in the Fox Valley where the economy is fairly strong, but in general terms the economy in WI is languishing. If you are able to work remotely and not tied to any geographic location, then the cost of living is low and the quality of life generally high so it is a good option.
Most of the state is considered quite conservative, but I think it is more of live-and-let-live mentality, which your statements seem to indicate is what you are after. If Wisconsin is your place, and ties to Manitowoc are loose and not a fixed thing, I may suggest a few other locations. I would also suggest you visit and see first hand what some of the areas are like, if you haven't.
Lake Mills or Fort Atkinson, in Jefferson County are in between Madison and Milwaukee along the I94 corridor. Both communities are small but have significant LGBT presence and your son would likely not turn a head most of the time. Both communities are also relatively easy commute to both metro areas and their respective airports if you need availability to travel.
Lacrosse and Onalaska, on the Mississippi River. Beautiful, UW Extension, modest sized city and a few small burbs with a blend of people that always seem really mellow and friendly to all sorts. I managed a group of employees there in a low pay industry and my staff included LGBT and foreign visa workers that were generally very well accepted in the community.
I would think that Milwaukee or Madison or Appleton and communities around them are quite much more liberal towards LGBT, than small town in rural Wisconsin...
Although Wisconsin in general is quite open minded and live-and-let others live mentality. At least we have 1 democratic and 1 republican senator.
I empathize with your family dilemma and felt sympathy for you and yours as you described previous events and a simple desire. I don't agree with a many things in this life but everyone should be able to live in peace when they are not hurting anyone else.
I wish you all would move to Milwaukee or Madison. And by Milwaukee I mean either the East Side (especially lower East) or the Bay View neighborhood.
I can't speak to Two Rivers as I never even heard of the place until you posted about it in this thread. But I did look it up on Wikipedia. My brief experiences in most small white Wisconsin towns has usually been good. And I'm mulatto. In terms of safety I like the smaller Wisconsin towns better than Milwaukee.
But your dilemma is different than mine in context of safety and potential hate or shunning. For this reason I recommend Madison and the two areas of Milwaukee I mentioned.
I'm not a politician nor speak like one. So, I have no agenda to lie.
The lower East Side, or even Bay View around KK (Kinnikinnick Avenue) street, is about as "liberal" as anything you will find in New York City or San Francisco. There are plenty of LGBTQ people around there, walking, living, working, drinking in bars. You see homes flying the Rainbow flag. Eh, there is some Protestant Church across the street from UW-Milwaukee with a Rainbow flag on it. I've personally seen two young gay white men on a busy bus stop at UWM holding hands and repeatedly tongue kissing each other. Plenty of students were standing on the bus stop. Not a single person said a word.
In Bay View KK Street has so many bars, lofts, shops, restaurants, gyms that it's like a loooooong downtown main street in a small town.
When I looked up Two Rivers on Wikipedia I saw the population size is about 11,000.
Many good things about small towns. One down side to tiny communities like that is that gossip spreads through the WHOLE community fast.
Not the worst thing if no one bothers I shuns you. But if the community begins to hate on you it becomes a hard road with little place to hide or get lost in the crowd in.
We started from Milwaukee actually and it led us to Two Rivers. I've been to Antigo, Wi and the area there some years ago where I really fell in love with the trees and beauty of the area. We just weren't sure it would be an area easy for us to live privately in. The areas you mentioned specifically are really helpful-we look forward to visiting them. We will definitely look up these areas and especially visit Milwaukee homes as well.
We were looking for maybe a small town feel while being near enough to a larger city where our son and daughter would have future choices and we would have a place to drive to occasionally for more things to do. We both miss and love the nature, season changes and seasonal climate changes of the areas we originally came from. We weren't a fan of high taxes but are finding those to be a thing to balance in exchange from moving out of Fl.
We followed the lake upward past Sheboygan and found homes we were charmed by with a lot of character. We researched this town, Two Rivers; tornado history, temps in cold and the history of the area and were really charmed by the area's history. We spoke to the sheriff there regarding crime and the rules for dogs in parks and along the trails, etc. He was really wonderful and very helpful in this information and very easy in his responses. I didn't go into anything regarding lgbt safety issues and rarely do. Thanks to youtube we got to see a lot of Two Rivers and Manitowac from helpful videos. We do plan to visit just before moving but want to have the area narrowed so we don't waste so much time or face too much disappointment. The main thing I could imagine when looking at this place was my daughter being able to safely and easily ride around the neighborhood to even the lake from some of the homes we looked at (well within our price range), my son being able to walk around freely and my husband and I being able to go out and walk in a nearby forest or river walk on lake Michigan with areas where we can take our chihuahuas daily. The only question mark I had was my son living and/or even long visits home to us in the area.
I'm grateful for your thoughtful responses, most especially Rynldsbr and Frogburn. They have honestly helped us immensely.
Last edited by nyfamilyfarm; 01-07-2017 at 08:05 AM..
I live in Two Rivers and love it here. I was raised and educated in Maine and have lived here a few years now. Thousands of open jobs within a short commute, cheap housing, low crime, beautiful beaches, and other assets too numerous to mention here.
Having said that, your son will do just fine here as long as he does NOT make it an issue himself. Otherwise no one here could care less.
We started from Milwaukee actually and it led us to Two Rivers. I've been to Antigo, Wi and the area there some years ago where I really fell in love with the trees and beauty of the area. We just weren't sure it would be an area easy for us to live privately in. Good decision. Northern WI is beautiful and will always be home to me, but the level of acceptance of different cultures and outsiders is not always good. If you live in Southern WI you can visit the Northwoods. The areas you mentioned specifically are really helpful-we look forward to visiting them. We will definitely look up these areas and especially visit Milwaukee homes as well.
We were looking for maybe a small town feel while being near enough to a larger city where our son and daughter would have future choices and we would have a place to drive to occasionally for more things to do. Here is where the Lake Mills and Ft Atkinson area makes more sense. Easy drive to Milwaukee or Madison, or up to Fox Valley, or even Chicago. Still live in beautiful Victorian homes in small towns at a reasonably affordable price. We both miss and love the nature, season changes and seasonal climate changes of the areas we originally came from. We weren't a fan of high taxes but are finding those to be a thing to balance in exchange from moving out of Fl.
We followed the lake upward past Sheboygan and found homes we were charmed by with a lot of character. We researched this town, Two Rivers; tornado history(non factor really), temps in cold and the history of the area and were really charmed by the area's history. We spoke to the sheriff there regarding crime and the rules for dogs in parks and along the trails, etc. He was really wonderful and very helpful in this information and very easy in his responses. I didn't go into anything regarding lgbt safety issues and rarely do. Thanks to youtube we got to see a lot of Two Rivers and Manitowac from helpful videos. We do plan to visit just before moving but want to have the area narrowed so we don't waste so much time or face too much disappointment. The main thing I could imagine when looking at this place was my daughter being able to safely and easily ride around the neighborhood (Some of the Milwaukee areas suggested are not quite as safe as you may want) to even the lake from some of the homes we looked at (well within our price range), my son being able to walk around freely and my husband and I being able to go out and walk in a nearby forest or river walk on lake Michigan with areas where we can take our chihuahuas daily. The only question mark I had was my son living and/or even long visits home to us in the area.
I'm grateful for your thoughtful responses, most especially Rynldsbr and Frogburn. They have honestly helped us immensely.
Here are some additional links/thoughts to let you know my recommendations are based on real experience in almost each area mentioned. I grew up near Minocqua WI, up north. Beautiful to visit but not good for your situation. My wife is from Milwaukee and I lived in/near the city for 12 years. Not bad if you get the right area. I lived in St Francis, then the South side, then west near State Fair Park. Not as great as it once was with political and social divisions making tensions high in many areas. My parents/grandparents were both originally from Lake Mills and I still own a home in Johnson Creek where we lived for eleven years. Still what I consider to be the best idea for your situation.
Jefferson:
Not as pretty, slightly higher crime, and less to do than the other communities I mentioned.
Bay View: //www.city-data.com/neighborhoo...waukee-WI.html
Blue collar neighborhood with gorgeous old homes along the lake and large parks, great for family time and dogs. Crime rate higher than the smaller towns. Airport noise from Milwaukee's Mitchell Field.
Milwaukee East Side:
Pricier, hip urban culture, UW-Milwaukee nearby. Young demographic. You are in the city and will know it.
Good luck. Keep us posted and glad to answer any specific questions you may have.
I would highly recommend Appleton or around it if you love northern cities. They have famous LGBT couple there with wife working as a professor in UW (author of the book "my husband Betty"). It's as safe as it can be (most crime in WI is in Milwaukee), and it's big enough.
Having said that, Milwaukee might amaze you with its open-mindedness, and live and let live attitude, and it's as safe if you end up in a good neighborhood. You won't be stigmatized or outed there easily.
Sheboygan is a working class city and it never strike that much as LGBT-friendly city to me. Although... it's not 50s around anywhere, people are much more understanding now that used to be even 10 years ago.
Good luck with your move wherever you go.
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