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So I don't know how to explain it, but back in May I didn't pass my clinicals in nursing school (anxiety reasons). I was devastated and I thought that I had made friends. Those friends were fake and did not once check on me to see if I was okay.
Fast-forward to yesterday. I ace the interview for a part-time job that I have been trying to get for a year. It is a Nurse's aide job at a hospital I have been working for over a year in a different position. After the interview, the manager shows me around the unit. In the break room, I bump into one of those fake friends of mine, the worst of them, imo. She was the type that posted my grades on Facebook (we were friends on FB) next to hers as if to brag about getting a higher grade than me. She was always super competitive and would rub things in your face. When I was going through a hard time, she didn't even bother to send a message asking how I was, so un-friended her. I blocked her on Facebook when she tried to re-friend me. And I found out from a friend that she has been talking about me behind my back.
I really want this job. It pays more, it looks good on the resume and it could help open more job opportunities. But being around her is like pouring salt on an open wound. My biggest fear is that she will turn the unit against me before I even have a chance. I already know from the second portion of the interview that she told a nurse in the break room that she "knew" me. I wonder what else she said.
At the end of the interview, the manager made it pretty clear that I got the job. It is bittersweet because I've been wanting an opportunity like this, and I feel this "friend" is a dark cloud on my sunny day.
Would you take the job? And if yes, how would you deal with her as a coworker?
Last edited by TiltheEndofTime; 10-27-2012 at 07:10 AM..
1. If you allow ANYONE to control your emotions then they OWN you. You are not your own person. This separates true, mature adults from immature adults and most children. If this defeats you, then there will be other defeats coming.
2. Take the job. They are hard to come by. Look towards better things.
3. Be kind to everyone. This will diminish whatever the other person is saying. But also be expert at your job.
4. Work a different shift than the other person if you can. Avoid the contact.
Find a way to differentiate between friends and acquaintances. I'm not being mean when I suggest the dictionary as a good starting point.
Limit FB time and FB "friends."
If nursing is what you really want to do, a failed clinical may not be reason to stop trying. I bet your advisor can tell you of others who had to repeat. I sure could, and they are good nurses now.
I would take the job. Not, ever, but never, respond to anything gossipy that is said about me. Let them get in trouble on their own. Or not. Some people get away with it. So what? You can only be responsible for your behavior.
As far as dealing with her on a day-to-day basis; I'd keep it to the tasks related to work. If she asks about your failed clinical, I would respond that I was disappointed. Of course you are. Why lie or pretend? Mature people will undertand that, but they probably aren't going to want to relive the moment with you. Disappointments happen, life plans change, and you move on.
Find a way to differentiate between friends and acquaintances. I'm not being mean when I suggest the dictionary as a good starting point.
Limit FB time and FB "friends."
If nursing is what you really want to do, a failed clinical may not be reason to stop trying. I bet your advisor can tell you of others who had to repeat. I sure could, and they are good nurses now.
I would take the job. Not, ever, but never, respond to anything gossipy that is said about me. Let them get in trouble on their own. Or not. Some people get away with it. So what? You can only be responsible for your behavior.
As far as dealing with her on a day-to-day basis; I'd keep it to the tasks related to work. If she asks about your failed clinical, I would respond that I was disappointed. Of course you are. Why lie or pretend? Mature people will undertand that, but they probably aren't going to want to relive the moment with you. Disappointments happen, life plans change, and you move on.
Good luck.
Thanks for your reply.
She always said that we were "best friends" when we were in the same class together, but I guess it was for show. As for FB, I'm rarely on (I don't like the fakeness of it), maybe on twice a month at most.
I'm still in school, retaking the class. It sucks being held back a year, but I have been doing well. She doesn't know exactly what happened, and I'm glad that I didn't tell her. She is a gossip fiend.
I really hope that you get this job and that you take it. She is only an acquaintance and I would always be cordial and professional to her but I would not have anything to do with her outside of work. It would be nice if you could avoid working with her (different shifts, etc.) but that is never a guarantee and is unprobable.
Treat everyone as professionally as possible, do not get involved with gossip, and keep your personal business to yourself, including your school work. If someone asks if you and the other employee went to school together, just answer yes and do not elaborate on anything. If anyone asks if you are still in school, do not tell them about the clinicals--just say that you are taking courses to improve your career opportunities with this hospital. Be the best employee that you can be. Good luck.
So I don't know how to explain it, but back in May I didn't pass my clinicals in nursing school (anxiety reasons). I was devastated and I thought that I had made friends. Those friends were fake and did not once check on me to see if I was okay.
Fast-forward to yesterday. I ace the interview for a part-time job that I have been trying to get for a year. It is a Nurse's aide job at a hospital I have been working for over a year in a different position. After the interview, the manager shows me around the unit. In the break room, I bump into one of those fake friends of mine, the worst of them, imo. She was the type that posted my grades on Facebook (we were friends on FB) next to hers as if to brag about getting a higher grade than me. She was always super competitive and would rub things in your face. When I was going through a hard time, she didn't even bother to send a message asking how I was, so un-friended her. I blocked her on Facebook when she tried to re-friend me. And I found out from a friend that she has been talking about me behind my back.
I really want this job. It pays more, it looks good on the resume and it could help open more job opportunities. But being around her is like pouring salt on an open wound. My biggest fear is that she will turn the unit against me before I even have a chance. I already know from the second portion of the interview that she told a nurse in the break room that she "knew" me. I wonder what else she said.
At the end of the interview, the manager made it pretty clear that I got the job. It is bittersweet because I've been wanting an opportunity like this, and I feel this "friend" is a dark cloud on my sunny day.
Would you take the job? And if yes, how would you deal with her as a coworker?
the first thing you need to do is grow-up and stop playing on FB. 1/2 your problems will be solved.
Koale
yes! Take the job and then kill her with kindness. Make friends with all of her friends and say lovely things about her. Drown her in helpfulness. Never tell her anything about your personal life. Never re-friend her. Don't tell anyone that you dislike/distrust her.
"Never tell her anything about your personal life."
Personally, I think this is good advice regarding every human being you come into contact with. Yes, I'm on the cynical side of things, but the internet communications such as FB has opened up hellish results for many people. How often do you read about a job lost because of a FB posting or someone you once dated decides to trash you by uploading those "private" photos they took of you when you were in "love". Privacy is almost impossible today but no one has to make it any worse by divulging personal information and private opinions to anyone. My adult children are sick of me reminding me of this sort of thing but I will continue to do so until they escort me to the cemetery. Our world, our culture is nuts.
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well...
