Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Again, my husband has received ZERO accommodations at his job. My husband is not lazy, not trying to cash in, not trying to live it up, he's just trying to do his job without being harassed. He has documented everything that was done to him since his return at the end of May. The list is extensive and I wish he'd told me everything sooner, he kept thinking it would go away if he were just patient.
The point of my post is that they are treating him differently than other employees. They are writing him up for things others do on a regular basis without any repercussions. The ONLY thing that has changed is they NOW KNOW he has a disability.
I came here to give an update to all those asking me to please update:
We have already found a lawyer we are speaking to tomorrow. I've talked to my friend's BF who is a lawyer in another field and he thinks that we are being treated outrageously and will also look for a lawyer for us at his law firm if the one we find isn't a good fit for us..
Thank you to everyone who has sent PM's and so on with supportive comments and advice. Can anyone tell me what "HM" means?
Thank you KittenSparkles for the link, I have heard about JAN through the MS society, I'm sure I'll be forwarded to them tomorrow.
The sad reality is they're probably retaliating. Everybody keeps saying get a lawyer. Lawyers are expensive and you'll be fighting an uphill battle to prove anything. Guess you'll have to decide which option is best; seeking new employment, filing, waiting, and hoping he's approved for disability or fighting corporate america.
Red, none of these courses of action is mutually exclusive, IMHO. Do all of them.
This is the most common tactic used to unlawfully discriminate - leaving a paper trail of nit picks. They usually don't count on their being evidence and testimony of the same workers making the exact same mistake without the same consequences.
So your idea is to have the man grovel and hope for support and good will? Yeah that'll work.
Nice pot shot you took at them for scrimping and saving every penny. That comment speaks volumes about you.
Taking accountability for one's actions is not groveling. You either have what it takes to do the job or you don't. Is it just that you keep getting paid for a job that you are under-performing at while someone who can do the job as it needs to be done and is eager to do so has to sit at home unemployed? Is that your idea of justice? Telling your boss "Give me the opportunity to show you I can do this job to your standards and beyond" is not groveling. It's called being a man and earning your worth. If you can't cut it, leave. No one owes you sh*t.
His work is freaking stupid, he came back today and his boss asked him if 1- he was answering his emails while he was out, and 2- if he'd picked up his new badge up at the main campus (at least a half hour drive) for the upcoming move.
He looked at her like she had two heads and said "no, I was suspended."
We've already spoken to his ADA counselor. She's scheduled a meeting tomorrow with us and I'm sure she'll LOVE to hear about how not only did she get my husband suspended, BUT expected him to work during that time answering emails and so on! So far she's appalled at everything that has happened and wants us to come in so DH and her can write out everything that has happened.
Oh and when he went back to his room he found 2 sick mice (breeders, clearly very ill) and a dead mouse (that clearly was dead for at least a few days) and took pictures to show as proof. He's going to ask his boss to make sure to write up and suspend the guy who worked that room because that's apparently the new policy. If she says she won't, well then guess what OTHER ammo we have? Suspend one person and do nothing to the other? OH WAIT that's cuz that's how it's always been.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KazChasey
Mod cut: Orphaned (reply to post which has been deleted).The OP's issue isn't her husband's insurance. It's that she wants her husband's employer to treat him like every other employee yet give him special accommodations and cut him some slack in making serious errors at work because, hell, everyone makes mistakes, right? And on top of that she wants them to talk nicer to him so that he doesn't get stressed and exacerbate his condition.
He IS being TARGETED. What part about that is so difficult to understand? If you don't want to believe me then go harass another poster. And WHEN did I say "serious" errors? I said minor mistakes. Which again, having worked in that industry 5 years myself, to call them mistakes is not even accurate. Mice die, get sick, etc. You write a health report/death report and move on.
And no, don't put words in my mouth, he wants to be treated the SAME as everyone else. Again, we have ZERO accommodations from his work. He has NOT asked for ANY accommodations. His MS is MILD compared to other people. He hadn't had a relapse for 6 years. He does not use a cane, he does not have a walker, nothing. If you looked at him you would NEVER know he has MS. He doesn't even use the handicap parking because he says it's for people who need it more than he does. So I'm not sure why you are so desperate to paint my DH as someone who can't do the job when that is not the case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KazChasey
Mod cut: Orphaned (reply to post which has been deleted).The right thing for him to do, the just thing, the thing that will garner him the most respect, goodwill, and chance for positive outcome is to sit down with his bosses and lay the truth out on the table: blah blah blah blah... other useless words...
Your funny to think that my husband HASN'T done this. This was done with him, his ADA counselor (appointed by his job), and his boss and the boss above them when he returned in May. When he had issues in June/July the counselor said give it time and they'll see he's still a good employee. It hasn't helped, clearly they don't care and just want him out.
Last edited by beera; 11-02-2015 at 10:49 PM..
Reason: Typos
His work is freaking stupid, he came back today and his boss asked him if 1- he was answering his emails while he was out, and 2- if he'd picked up his new badge up at the main campus (at least a half hour drive) for the upcoming move.
He looked at her like she had two heads and said "no, I was suspended."
We've already spoken to his ADA counselor. She's scheduled a meeting tomorrow with us and I'm sure she'll LOVE to hear about how not only did she get my husband suspended, BUT expected him to work during that time answering emails and so on! So far she's appalled at everything that has happened and wants us to come in so DH and her can write out everything that has happened.
Oh and when he went back to his room he found 2 sick mice (breeders, clearly very ill) and a dead mouse (that clearly was dead for at least a few days) and took pictures to show as proof. He's going to ask his boss to make sure to write up and suspend the guy because that's apparently the new policy. If she says she won't, well then guess what OTHER ammo we have? Suspend one person and do nothing to the other? OH WAIT that's cuz that's how it's always been.
He IS being TARGETED. What part about that is so difficult to understand? If you don't want to believe me then go harass another poster. And WHEN did I say "serious" errors? I said minor mistakes. Which again, having worked in that industry 5 years myself, to call them mistakes is not even accurate. Mice die, get sick, etc. You write a health report/death report and move on.
And no, don't put words in my mouth, he wants to be treated the SAME as everyone else. Again, we have ZERO accommodations from his work. He has NOT asked for ANY accommodations. His MS is MILD compared to other people. He hadn't had a relapse for 6 years.
Your funny to think that my husband HASN'T done this. This was done with him, his ADA counselor (appointed by his job), and his boss and the boss above them when he returned in May. When he had issues in June/July the counselor said give it time and they'll see he's still a good employee. It hasn't helped, clearly they don't care and just want him out.
You're not going to like this, so please just read it before you flame me.
I've handled many of these cases, for both the employer and the employee. In order to be successful you will need to establish not only that your husband is being treated differently than other employees, but also that it is because he is sick or disabled.
That being said, feeling targeted is not the same as being targeted.
Clumsy management is not illegal, and he has no way of knowing if others are having their performance discussed with them.
"Guess what other ammo we have?" - your attitude is virtually ensuring your husband will not last at this job, and that's on you.
"Fair" does not mean identical. If the employer didn't know he was ill, then none of the action they took prior to that knowledge can be discriminatory.
Your over the top anger on your husband's behalf is NOT going to help him, and being adversarial to his employer is the fastest path to cause to terminate him. In one breath you say dead mice doesn't equal a write up, in another you say he should demand it being written up. Having MS does not give him immunity from insubordination, so you need to stop telling him to do things that will legitimately get him fired.
In terms of your claim, you may be right, he may have a claim for discrimination in employment. My strong advice to you is to stop making this worse, you're getting more and more worked up (just reread your posts) and we have no information about how your husband feels.
Frankly it's strange how you refer to this situation - HE is the one who works there, knows his boss and coworker. There's no "we" - you need to back off and let your husband manage his work relationships, from what you describe he is not a child nor mentally compromised, so it's difficult to understand why you're so hyper engaged.
I wish him luck with his ADA appointment, his employment and his success at work. Your seething resentment based on second hand facts and limited data isn't helping him though. Your advice on getting coworkers in trouble is virtually ensuring the end of his employment, and I understand you feel very "right", but you are missing some significant information (ie the employer's perspective).
Back off and let him work through this with the professionals (ADA Advisor).
Your right, I need to calm down. And yes, I admit, I am angry, this is my place to vent. My filter is a little broken right now. I just cannot believe she asked him if he was working while suspended without pay- is this woman for reals? So now not only does she get half his paycheck taken, but he was supposed to work for free?
That part about demanding another employee's write up/suspension was sarcasm, he's not going to tell his boss to do anything, he is friends with that other employee. He's hoping to be transferred ASAP. All he's doing is documenting everything. His facility is a small one, he told me he would know if she'd said something to the other employee or wrote him up or anything.
My husband is not happy. He took those pictures to show that "look, I came in, I found this, it shows it happens, yes, people miss it, this isn't documented when other people miss it, so why am I being treated differently?" Trust me, he knows nothing was said/done because she's not breathing down anyone else's neck. I'm not telling him to do anything btw, he's doing this all on his own and told me about it when I got home this evening.
I am going to the meeting as moral support and to remind him if he forgets a point, I am not speaking unless DH asks me a question. When I say "we" here it's because I am speaking for both of us.
You're not going to like this, so please just read it before you flame me.
I've handled many of these cases, for both the employer and the employee. In order to be successful you will need to establish not only that your husband is being treated differently than other employees, but also that it is because he is sick or disabled.
That being said, feeling targeted is not the same as being targeted.
Clumsy management is not illegal, and he has no way of knowing if others are having their performance discussed with them.
"Guess what other ammo we have?" - your attitude is virtually ensuring your husband will not last at this job, and that's on you.
"Fair" does not mean identical. If the employer didn't know he was ill, then none of the action they took prior to that knowledge can be discriminatory.
Your over the top anger on your husband's behalf is NOT going to help him, and being adversarial to his employer is the fastest path to cause to terminate him. In one breath you say dead mice doesn't equal a write up, in another you say he should demand it being written up. Having MS does not give him immunity from insubordination, so you need to stop telling him to do things that will legitimately get him fired.
In terms of your claim, you may be right, he may have a claim for discrimination in employment. My strong advice to you is to stop making this worse, you're getting more and more worked up (just reread your posts) and we have no information about how your husband feels.
Frankly it's strange how you refer to this situation - HE is the one who works there, knows his boss and coworker. There's no "we" - you need to back off and let your husband manage his work relationships, from what you describe he is not a child nor mentally compromised, so it's difficult to understand why you're so hyper engaged.
I wish him luck with his ADA appointment, his employment and his success at work. Your seething resentment based on second hand facts and limited data isn't helping him though. Your advice on getting coworkers in trouble is virtually ensuring the end of his employment, and I understand you feel very "right", but you are missing some significant information (ie the employer's perspective).
Back off and let him work through this with the professionals (ADA Advisor).
You said exactly what I'm thinking but much better than I ever could've.
The OP is huffing and puffing about perceived slights against her husband by his employer. She's got absolutely no proof nor does she have a theory about why they would discriminate against her husband's illness despite the fact that she claims he shows no signs and hasn't had any issues in 6 years. What even hint of evidence is there to claim that they're discriminating against him for his MS? None.
The OP is being ridiculous, stirring up [bleep] in her husband's name, ensuring that this idea that her husband's employer wants to fire him becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If my S.O. had MS and were having issues at work I wouldn't be stoking the fires, fueling outrage, and ensuring that she gets fired. I'd get myself into high gear, get a better or second or third job to bring in more income, and make it possible for my ill wife, who shouldn't be stressed due to her MS, be able to quit her problematic job and either find something that works better for her or relax without the burden of having to put food on the table. That's what I would do, not fire her up even more, make legal threats to her boss, document workplaces errors so I can screw over her coworkers, and put her in an early grave from stress and worry.
OP is being very vindictive and foolish. The amount of stress her ill husband is under at work is nothing compared to the stress she's putting him under with her childish tantrum-throwing and horrible advice. Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-03-2015 at 09:27 AM..
Reason: Inappropriate language; egregious personal attack.
You said exactly what I'm thinking but much better than I ever could've.
The OP is huffing and puffing about perceived slights against her husband by his employer. She's got absolutely no proof nor does she have a theory about why they would discriminate against her husband's illness despite the fact that she claims he shows no signs and hasn't had any issues in 6 years. What even hint of evidence is there to claim that they're discriminating against him for his MS? None.
The OP is being ridiculous, stirring up [snip] in her husband's name, ensuring that this idea that her husband's employer wants to fire him becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If my S.O. had MS and were having issues at work I wouldn't be stoking the fires, fueling outrage, and ensuring that she gets fired. I'd get myself into high gear, get a better or second or third job to bring in more income, and make it possible for my ill wife, who shouldn't be stressed due to her MS, be able to quit her problematic job and either find something that works better for her or relax without the burden of having to put food on the table. That's what I would do, not fire her up even more, make legal threats to her boss, document workplaces errors so I can screw over her coworkers, and put her in an early grave from stress and worry.
OP is being very vindictive and foolish. The amount of stress her ill husband is under at work is nothing compared to the stress she's putting him under with her childish tantrum-throwing and horrible advice. [snip]
I'm not sure we agree quite as much as you think!
The part you may be missing is that it was after an illness related absence that the differential treatment started, so that is why they feel that it is related to the illness they are now aware of.
It is stressful dealing with issues that put employment at risk, especially when there are other stressors in the family.
To be clear, I think he is doing entirely the right thing to look into the issue of whether he has been discriminated against, I'm just advocating for an open mind in the event the employer does have valid reasons for their actions.
The part you may be missing is that it was after an illness related absence that the differential treatment started, so that is why they feel that it is related to the illness they are now aware of.
It is stressful dealing with issues that put employment at risk, especially when there are other stressors in the family.
To be clear, I think he is doing entirely the right thing to look into the issue of whether he has been discriminated against, I'm just advocating for an open mind in the event the employer does have valid reasons for their actions.
I agree with that.
I think what we're both saying, in our own ways, is that the husband should do what's best for him and the wife should stop trying to railroad her him into getting fired.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
