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Yes, I guess I did, you got me, but they were all licensed counselors who act as Life Coaches, Masters level in fact. IF OP used a licensed, degreed Psychologist/counselor who specilazies in life skills training for ASD, that's fine. I just don't want her calling just anyone who says they are a life coach. Any ASD specialist is going to be a life coach in a big way, and that is the important part, the person IMO MUST be degreed and licensed and have certifications in ASD specialization (although her OCD is a large issue too, so I would actually recommend a psychiatrist and counselor both. If the life coach she messaged is one from the site, that's fine because we know that person is not a fly-by-night with no qualifications. But again e-mailing instead of calling is plain avoidance.
The one who does it over the phone I included mainly to push away KMB's argument about how she doesn't have enough time (she is too severely impacted for phone help in reality, though).
My main point in the listing I provided was to contradict OP, who claimed there was no help available, and I came back with "here's a list I was able to get of specialists in your area in less than 5 minutes" to show her there IS in fact help available, she just needs to pull her head out and seek it.
At this point also, we have discovered KMB is not allowing her current therapist to truly address her OCD issues, she is resisting those efforts by her therapist to pull her out of her comfort zone, and until she is more willing to be open and do scary things, it won't matter who the therapist is (the psychiatrist whould come first I now believe, because KMB may need medication simply to be able to benefit from therapy- right now she's wasting her time and money.
OCN, you really don't need to explain anything. KMB has asked the same questions so often, in so many threads, where you've tried to help her it's easy to lose track of answers. Now she's just taking the various responses and playing "gotcha" games with them. I mean hiding it as a spoiler. Really? That was not an accident, nor the ASD. That was done with intent. So many people have tried to help her, you especially have gone out of your way. You didn't deserve that.
At this point also, we have discovered KMB is not allowing her current therapist to truly address her OCD issues, she is resisting those efforts by her therapist to pull her out of her comfort zone, and until she is more willing to be open and do scary things, it won't matter who the therapist is (the psychiatrist whould come first I now believe, because KMB may need medication simply to be able to benefit from therapy- right now she's wasting her time and money.
Yeah, the OCD is a significant issue, and sorry if you thought the hidden quote was inappropriate. I'm now actually trying to take small steps to improve and I'm thankful for the advice. Thank you for listening. Contrary to what a few people seem to believe, I didn't just start a whole bunch of threads to "bait' anyone. I just wasn't considering anyone else's perspective when I made those posts. I have been listening, though, trying to adjust, and adopt appropriate habits, on this forum and in life. I think my next step is to consult a therapist and get put on some kind of medication that will improve my focus and make the daydreaming less frequent. It is true that sometimes I find my therapist's suggestions so anxiety-inducing that I don't want to follow through.
I will try to answer these questions you keep posting in one form or another.
The idea that people have to work to improve or get good at something should be common sense, but, for a very long time, I felt like making a mistake or not just automatically being good at something sort of "disqualified" me. It feels like the message I've gotten from other people most of my life. For example, if someone tells you that you "don't seem interested" in an activity, it's not that you're not interested, it's that you don't have natural "talent" for that particular activity. At least, that's the way I was thinking until very recently. I usually don't see the steps people have to take; no one revealed what they had to do to get there, so I just assumed it was easy for them. I didn't really have to "work" to get through school, so that way of thinking made sense to me.
I will try to answer these questions you keep posting in one form or another.
I don't always know how to break skills down into steps. For example, when I was younger, my teacher told me to practice my handwriting. Well, I wanted to please my teacher, so I sat down with a pen and piece of paper and practiced drawing my letters over and over again. My handwriting didn't get much better, though, because, I found out later when I was an adult and trying to learn a little Chinese from one of my students, the order you follow when you draw your letters makes a big difference. If you start at the bottom, your letters will look different than if you start at the top. It might have been " common sense" to most children to ask their teacher if they weren't improving by what they were trying, but I was afraid of her, and the thought never occurred to me, so I just kept doing it the wrong way and expected it to 'magically" improve.
I don't always know how to break skills down into steps. For example, when I was younger, my teacher told me to practice my handwriting. Well, I wanted to please my teacher, so I sat down with a pen and piece of paper and practiced drawing my letters over and over again. My handwriting didn't get much better, though, because, I found out later when I was an adult and trying to learn a little Chinese from one of my students, the order you follow when you draw your letters makes a big difference. If you start at the bottom, your letters will look different than if you start at the top. It might have been " common sense" to most children to ask their teacher if they weren't improving by what they were trying, but I was afraid of her, and the thought never occurred to me, so I just kept doing it the wrong way and expected it to 'magically" improve.
HUH? I went to parochial school where handwriting/penmanship was VERY important & I've never heard this "the order you follow when you draw your letters makes a big difference"
Nor did I EVER ask my teacher if I was improving...I knew by tests, quizzes etc.
You overthink things x1000.
I know you struggle but sometimes you just have to do things...not think about them, just do.
HUH? I went to parochial school where handwriting/penmanship was VERY important & I've never heard this "the order you follow when you draw your letters makes a big difference"
Nor did I EVER ask my teacher if I was improving...I knew by tests, quizzes etc.
You overthink things x1000.
I know you struggle but sometimes you just have to do things...not think about them, just do.
Lay out clothes.
Keep clothes clean.
Etc.
Just. Do.
Not that it matters, but there is a definite order that is taught. Small "a" for instance starts at the bottom, directly from the letter it follows, which should have ended on the bottom (on the line) in cursive...but capital A starts at the top and ends on the bottom, so the next small letter can start from the bottom and be connected to it..it is the very basis of learning cursive. You can't connect the letters properly to make a legible word if you start and therefore end the letters at the wrong place.
What she is saying is that no one sat down and went over it with her, so she continued tp practice writing letters the wrong way and only reinforced the bad habits, resulting in handwriting that never got more legible.
KMB, I am bad at handwriting too, almost everyone with ADD has poor writing. I haven't written in cursive in probably 40 years, and it didn't stop me from graduating Magna *** Laude. I don't think you would have gotten better even if they did spend more time with you, JMO. To me handwriting is not that different from drawing, some do it well naturally and some don't.
Not that it matters, but there is a definite order that is taught. Small "a" for instance starts at the bottom, directly from the letter it follows, which should have ended on the bottom (on the line) in cursive...but capital A starts at the top and ends on the bottom, so the next small letter can start from the bottom and be connected to it..it is the very basis of learning cursive. You can't connect the letters properly to make a legible word if you start and therefore end the letters at the wrong place.
What she is saying is that no one sat down and went over it with her, so she continued tp practice writing letters the wrong way and only reinforced the bad habits, resulting in handwriting that never got more legible.
KMB, I am bad at handwriting too, almost everyone with ADD has poor writing. I haven't written in cursive in probably 40 years, and it didn't stop me from graduating Magna *** Laude. I don't think you would have gotten better even if they did spend more time with you, JMO. To me handwriting is not that different from drawing, some do it well naturally and some don't.
That might be true, but what I'm saying is, wouldn't have someone else noticed they weren't making progress and asked about the process? (I'm trying to change my thinking here) I've done stuff like this all of my life. During student teaching, I thought they expected us to already know how to do everything, so I just sat terrified and watched my cooperating teacher. I didn't ask about grading, lesson planning, or anything, because I felt like he would think I wasn't a very good teacher candidate if he didn't think I already knew those things, so I just pretended to know, prepared lessons that didn't make sense, didn't grade anything, and narrowly escaped having to re-take student teaching. It was nearly the same story when I did it to get my master's degree. I wasn't comfortable sharing that I didn't know important information, because I was "sure" they all expected me to know how to do all of it even though it was never explicitly taught to me.
Now, I did finally pick some of it up (I still don't feel confident with grading), but I had to admit I didn't know what I was doing to a lot of administrators as a sub before anyone started helping me. I tried to get the training I needed. Although I didn't want to admit anything to my cooperating teachers, I admitted everything I could to my professors. They told me not to worry about it, but that didn't seem like the right advice. My peers were succeeding and I was failing, at least that's the way I saw it. No one was able to tell me why my lessons were so bad.
Looking back, though, I'm guessing it was the observations I was supposed to be doing during student teaching. I should have printed out a cycle of instruction and filled it in as my cooperating teacher was going over the lesson, but how was I supposed to know that? There was so much to process. Each one of the teachers had a unique personality and a teaching style to go with it. It was almost as if they literally told us to "watch and learn," a strategy that has NEVER been effective with me.
Anyway, the ASD life coach seems to charge a decent rate for the services she offers, so I guess she's not out of the question. I do think I need to do something. Today, the "secretary" (she does the job of a secretary but I'm not sure what her title is) asked me for two student folders, the whereabouts of which I'm not really sure about. I'm usually careful with the folders, but sometimes they get returned to me and I occasionally misplace them. It doesn't happen very often, but it's a significant error that apparently the other teachers don't make. I was warned to clean and organize my classroom, so that's where I've been putting most of my focus. It's possible something important got lost in the shuffle. It's hard for me to believe everyone doesn't lose track of things while doing tasks like that, but if you say that it's not that common, then I guess it really is a problem for me.
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