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Your email could just be going to her spam. Almost had a disaster with a client when their firm made a change to their filters, and I called after not getting a response with a deadline approaching. Turned out he hadn't been getting a ton of crucial emails.
Having lost relatives to terminal cancer, I understand your perspective if their time is coming to a close. However, it's also a matter of honoring their wishes and keeping things in perspective. My uncle aunt and uncle were in agony in their last days. I visited, but I kept things brief and allowed them to rest and float away on the pain meds rather than distracting them from what I kind of saw at their job at that point (of no return) in their illness - dying as comfortably as they could. And my grandmother (who did not die of cancer, but spent a couple weeks in the hospital dying from a broken hip and pneumonia) would have been stressed out beyond belief if she suspected that I was putting off a new job to be at her bedside. I had relatives that insisted on being at her bedside as much as possible, and when told that they would be visiting, she would roll her eyes because as much as she loved them, she really just wanted to rest. At the end of a terminal illness, many people are at peace with what is going on and just want peace.
There's also the fact that if you have a good relationship with your mom, you have already said everything that needs to be said. My father is in memorycare near me, and his dementia is advancing steadily - the one thing he really remembers is that I love him.
Just consider what your mother wants and needs right now, not necessarily what you have been told is the right thing to do. It's different for everyone.
Your email could just be going to her spam. Almost had a disaster with a client when their firm made a change to their filters, and I called after not getting a response with a deadline approaching. Turned out he hadn't been getting a ton of crucial emails.
Having lost relatives to terminal cancer, I understand your perspective if their time is coming to a close. However, it's also a matter of honoring their wishes and keeping things in perspective. My uncle aunt and uncle were in agony in their last days. I visited, but I kept things brief and allowed them to rest and float away on the pain meds rather than distracting them from what I kind of saw at their job at that point (of no return) in their illness - dying as comfortably as they could. And my grandmother (who did not die of cancer, but spent a couple weeks in the hospital dying from a broken hip and pneumonia) would have been stressed out beyond belief if she suspected that I was putting off a new job to be at her bedside. I had relatives that insisted on being at her bedside as much as possible, and when told that they would be visiting, she would roll her eyes because as much as she loved them, she really just wanted to rest. At the end of a terminal illness, many people are at peace with what is going on and just want peace.
There's also the fact that if you have a good relationship with your mom, you have already said everything that needs to be said. My father is in memorycare near me, and his dementia is advancing steadily - the one thing he really remembers is that I love him.
Just consider what your mother wants and needs right now, not necessarily what you have been told is the right thing to do. It's different for everyone.
My siblings and I have worked out a schedule. She wants me there evenings. But I have to do something during the day to keep my occupied.
Evidently, you don't take criticism well. You asked for advice, and that is all people are doing.
It ALWAYS looks bad when a new employee starts off with issues. NO employer wants anyone to come in and start asking for exceptions or accomodations.
Yes, family is important, but so are good jobs. You landed the job,so you should be grateful and find other care for your parent. The flags always go up when someone starts off like this, and it usually goes down hill rapidly.
Gee Guy, given her family situation you could be a little more compassionate in the way you delivered your messages.
Well my mother was just diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer this past weekend. So that wasn't an option.
Thank you for the compassion.
With your attitude, it's amazing you landed a job! No one here knows what's going on in your personal life. And honestly, many companies do not care. They need employees who can and will show up on time and ready to work for whatever their schedule is. If your mom is this ill, you may have to rethink this job if you're going to be taking care of her. You won't have time off. Calling in when you're new will lead to termination...probably something you don't need to deal with right now.
With your attitude, it's amazing you landed a job! No one here knows what's going on in your personal life. And honestly, many companies do not care. They need employees who can and will show up on time and ready to work for whatever their schedule is. If your mom is this ill, you may have to rethink this job if you're going to be taking care of her. You won't have time off. Calling in when you're new will lead to termination...probably something you don't need to deal with right now.
Ok. You are entitled to your opinion, no matter how ridiculous it is. Have a nice day.
Gee Guy, given her family situation you could be a little more compassionate in the way you delivered your messages.
When someone comes on and asks for advice, the kindest thing we can do is to be totally honest, based on our own experiences. I put myself into the shoes of her new boss, and how I would react if a brand new employee started asking for concessions.
Any of us, who have been on here for a while, know that most people who come on and ask for "advice" really do not want to hear anything but what they had in their head already. We, who try to give them a truthful answer, do so because sometimes the truth hurts, but needs to be said for the good of the person asking.
She took it well, and is now making a good decision that will benefit her and the boss. If she had just continued sending emails, who knows where that would have ended up.
When someone comes on and asks for advice, the kindest thing we can do is to be totally honest, based on our own experiences. I put myself into the shoes of her new boss, and how I would react if a brand new employee started asking for concessions.
Any of us, who have been on here for a while, know that most people who come on and ask for "advice" really do not want to hear anything but what they had in their head already. We, who try to give them a truthful answer, do so because sometimes the truth hurts, but needs to be said for the good of the person asking.
She took it well, and is now making a good decision that will benefit her and the boss. If she had just continued sending emails, who knows where that would have ended up.
Its not about what is said, but about how it is said.
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