How to Handle Emotionally Unstable Boss? (employees, credit, interview, paycheck)

[nowannamove]

First let me start by saying that I know that I have some responsibility in this situations, as all relationships are two way. Now on to the situation

My female boss is totally emotionally unstable. Key things that drive me absolutely nuts:

• I was hired for sales and marketing. I told her that I am more marketing focused than sales focused, but that I would build a strong marketing engine that would drive sales. I've done so and sales are going up every month. She still is on my case trying to make me work like her, a sales woman. She has no concept of strategic marketing and tries to make me be just a reactionary as her. The pay at this job is 20K less than another job that I had to turn down because I had to stay in this small town with my family.
• She is a perpetual victim. She is always pissed off at someone in the community and does not know how to negotiate strategic relationships. And she treats people who are not part of our organization like dirt. She is very 'us against them'. She is mean if she thinks someone is of no use to her. She sucks up if she thinks they are 'important'.
• She is a micromanager. She doesn't even comprehend and/or remember half of the stuff I tell her because she is not very intelligent and she thinks more with her emotions than her brain. Then she freaks out on me and sometimes even threatens me.
• One minute I'm the hero of the office because I'm bringing in so much money, the next minute she is all pissed off at me because I did something she didn't like (something that three days prior she gave me the OK to do).
• No matter how well I perform it is never enough. She always wants more and the ship is always sinking. Either that or she is in my face gushing about how 'awesome' I am.
• She is very very very rude in email.
• She demands to control all marketing communication that leaves our office and makes stupid design changes to the collateral I produce. She is not a designer, and she actually ruins the designs with her mandates (no suggestions).
• She rewrites everything that I write, when it is not necessary.
• She does this to all the women in the office (four others), but not to the two men. She started with the company four years ago. Within a year of her starting the other woman in my position quit because she was unhappy. Then another woman took over. She lasted three years, but ultimately quit because she was unhappy with the bosses excessive/erratic demanding management style.
• Literally one minute my boss will be singing about what a beautiful day it is at the top of her lungs, then the next minute she will be freaking out about something. She is always overwhelmed, never plans ahead, and never acts like a leader. She just works in panic mode all the time.

I find this environment to be emotionally unstable and to be a great hindrance to top level work. I'm very frustrated and I don't know what to do. Due to the high profile nature of my work and the small town I'm in, if I try to look for another job she will know. Also I'm pretty new to town and have only been with the company three months. It will look bad if I quit. If people ask me why I'm looking for a job so soon what could I tell them? Certainly not that I work for a nut job, as most of these people in this small town know her. But I feel like if I stay I look bad because she gets in the way of me doing the high level of professional work that I demand of myself. Sure I've got great sales numbers and have built good alliances, but I want our marketing communication platforms to be at a professional level too. And, I would like to work in a structured, disciplined, strategic work environment. Not in this chaos.

[annerk]

Document, document, dicument. Do EVERYTHINg via e-mail, and after every conversation, write an e-mail outlining the conversation so there is no confusion.

And start looking for a new job. If it's really that small of a town, chances are everyone already knows she's a nutcase. If anyone asks why you are looking after only three months, a simple "the position has changed from what I was originally hired for, and I feel my talents and skills might be better utilized elsewhere" should suffice.

[artsyguy]

If the boss was that horrible she would be out of business. So she does some things correctly. The problem is she is driving the OP up a wall.

Documenting everything doesn't guarantee anything either.

[kodaka]

If you turned down a pricier offer for personal reasons, that isn't your boss' fault and has nothing to do with her behavior, so leave that out of the equation. Don't act like you are doing them a favor by taking a pay cut or a position that is beneath you. It was your decision to take the job, so own that decision, don't blame others for it.

Avoid comments like 'she is not very intelligent' and 'she is mean'. Those are really unprofessional, petty things to say, and don't accomplish anything good for you. Avoid statements about previous employees--that's hearsay and rumor, not fact.

Be careful of criticizing her abilities as a manager. She is your boss, not the other way around. Even if you have previously been a boss in her role, you aren't now. Avoid comments about revisions 'even when it isn't necessary'--it isn't your decision to make when revisions are necessary, it is hers. It is always the prerogative of a manager to decide what work product goes out the door. If her burning bridges interferes with your sales, that is an issue, but if it simply affects her own relationship with other people, then it isn't your business. That is for her bosses to deal with.

And frankly none of what you describe is really outside the bounds of sales work, it doesn't sound like to me. It is a very cutthroat, you vs. me vs. them business.

If you start looking for work elsewhere, I would simply say you are looking to return to a 'marketing driven' approach.

[Pivot Point]

Start looking for a new job. As annerk wrote, saying something like "the position has changed from what I was originally hired for, and I feel my talents and skills might be better utilized elsewhere" should help when you interview for another position. Stress the responsibilities at which you excelled at previous jobs, but are not allowed to do at this job.

In the mean time, just humor your boss. Until something better comes along, just remember that you need that paycheck. Don't let her personality problems cause you to lose a good job. Her issues are her problem, not yours. The way you describe her, it sounds like she's digging her own grave. I wouldn't be surprised if she falls into it eventually.

[Nativechief]

You are dealing with a "control freak" (google up the type of mental disorder to learn more) . Once you understand how these people think you can push the right buttons and watch them melt down right before your eyes. They ask for it. Document their "fits" because they will burn you in a heartbeat to save themselves. I can tell you without asking that this woman is not married and most likely divorced if not several times. It goes with this mental disorder.

[Zippy7fo]

the hidden psychologist in me would say at some pt in her past a man took advantage of her and made her feel jilted.

I'll be honest with you but its really simply...if your not gonna excel or you bring home your misery and inflict it upon your family then you must leave. If she's not gonna promote you then its time to move on....

She's what they call a "office sniper"....the reasons she's rewriting your material is to take credit for your work...move on and don't look back..

[Nativechief]

Originally Posted by Zippy7fo

the hidden psychologist in me would say at some pt in her past a man took advantage of her and made her feel jilted.

I'll be honest with you but its really simply...if your not gonna excel or you bring home your misery and inflict it upon your family then you must leave. If she's not gonna promote you then its time to move on....

She's what they call a "office sniper"....the reasons she's rewriting your material is to take credit for your work...move on and don't look back..

Control freaks all have many things in common and "office sniper" is only one.They didnt choose
to be that way. Its a true mental disorder and hard to treat. Avoid them if you can and if they are in authority you have to either let then "RULE" 100% of the time or you suffer 100% of the time.Several of the other traits are. they have a terrific fear of failure, like to use cleaver words. will debate anything .will back stab you, want to be the center of attention all of the time, love compliments but give few, expects everyone to meet their HIGH expectations, and most of the time are divorced or having issues with their mate that may lead to divorce, and they also like to brag,,ON THEMSELVES..Do any of these things relate to your problem person...I KNOW THEY DO....and Im not even a mental health professional .

[artsyguy]

It is always the psychos that end up in "supervisor" or "boss" positions.

[Sunnnee]

Originally Posted by annerk

Document, document, dicument. Do EVERYTHINg via e-mail, and after every conversation, write an e-mail outlining the conversation so there is no confusion.

And start looking for a new job. If it's really that small of a town, chances are everyone already knows she's a nutcase. If anyone asks why you are looking after only three months, a simple "the position has changed from what I was originally hired for, and I feel my talents and skills might be better utilized elsewhere" should suffice.

I agree...Document everything in email and make sure you print out copies for yourself while your still there. If you get fired out of the blue and never printed anything and took it home, your at a loss. Once your fired, your emails, belong to the company.