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I don't think how I presented the issue was as significant to the outcome of the situation as who I was asking for an accommodation. I fail to understand why she insists on continuing to hurt another coworker (I never really crossed her, so she has no reason to hold anything against me) , just because the bracelet means a lot to her. Her sentimental attachment to the material possession and fact that she has to remain in control (as she said no one will make her remove it, not even general manager) seemed more important than another person's well being. And this just proves to me that she has little, if any decency.
No one is "blaming" you, and, frankly, I don't see you as a Victim here. I feel for your unique situation, but, I see you have some fault in it as well, so, on your end, you need to do what it takes to rectify that.
And, presentation is everything! That's why I tried to guide you in how to approach it. While no approach is fool-proof, the one I provided you was as close as you could get to that. How do I know this?
1. I work in a similar environment, and have for 10+years.
2. I am a boss in said environment.
3. I work with over 90% Women, and, as a younger male, have had to learn how to speak to the women to be effective.
4. This is the way I approach situations at work, and it has been very effective.
5. The approach I gave you made it seem as you were at fault, and apologetic, and that you had a problem and that you were ready with a couple of solutions to it. This takes the "bad guy" stigma away from her.
Basically, in her mind, you confronted her, put her on the spot and made her defensive, and you are "the jerk who keeps bringing up my bracelet" to her now.
And all of the small talk at the end, that's what women do in the workplace. They may humor you with small talk, but, she will remember nothing of that and everything of what happened before. Women tend to hold personal grudges longer, and she will wait for her opportunity to throw you under the bus.
VAW, I think you're misreading the situation if you believe that. You're asking her to remove a piece of jewelry she never removes - how is that fair of you? Think about it.
She not consciously choosing to "hurt" a co-worker - she's simply living her life, and wearing what she wants - can you see her point of view at all?
I do understand - it hurts your ears - but you do have other options - like those earphones you talked about getting. Why not just buy them and solve all the noise problems - the door, the bracelet, the copy machine, the co-workers, all of it - all at once - easily. Just buy the earphones...
Exactly.
A couple things here:
1. You have not purchased the noise canceling headphones. If this noise was driving me bonkers you best believe I would have bought noise canceling headphones. Actually I did put my money where my mouth is. A year ago I bought the Bose noise canceling headphones that cover my ears. I use this when I need to "go under" and not be disturbed. I work in a very close quarters environment-- we don't have cubicles we have essentially tables with tiny partitions. Not ideal for me, but I have made it work for years.
2. You won't go to HR and report it as a disorder with doctor notes, information. Since you won't do this, your coworker has NO obligation to do anything for you or accommodate you. The bracelet for whatever reason is a very special and personal thing for her-- she has a right to wear it especially when you have not purchased the headphones above since your other headphones obviously are not cutting muster.
3. Your coworker is right. She can remove her bracelet but there will ALWAYS be a new noise that will bother you. Heck, there is always something bothering you as evidenced by your posts here. And, I haphazard that in real life (i.e. off of the internet) you may possibly complain even more. Not everyone in life is going to sanitize everything for you to make YOU comfortable. Get the headphones, go to HR, etc.
I do understand - it hurts your ears - but you do have other options - like those earphones you talked about getting. Why not just buy them and solve all the noise problems - the door, the bracelet, the copy machine, the co-workers, all of it - all at once - easily. Just buy the earphones...
For the record, I can't wear earphones with music. I can only wear earplugs with headphones..you know with the cushions that cover the ear? There's a difference here. As far as solving all the problems, I disagree. What this does is makes you a slave to the headphones. Sure it may be comfy in the moment and help me concentrate, but as audiologists have recommended, the more you wear noise blockers, the more you rely on them and the more sensitive your ears will get without these aids. That's why they actually have sound therapy (TRT) that's very expensive when administered by an audiologist (I called a clinic in my area and it's $400 for the initial 2 hours...then possibly more afterwards.) So bottom line: the misbehavior of one employee who chooses to drag a chain across a desk, will end up costing me hundreds of dollars in therapies and solutions, all because the item is so sentimental to her. Is it reasonable that I should have so many out of pocket expenses to go work for what is pretty much an entry level salary? I think not.
I don't think how I presented the issue was as significant to the outcome of the situation as who I was asking for an accommodation. I fail to understand why she insists on continuing to hurt another coworker (I never really crossed her, so she has no reason to hold anything against me) , just because the bracelet means a lot to her. Her sentimental attachment to the material possession and fact that she has to remain in control (as she said no one will make her remove it, not even general manager) seemed more important than another person's well being. And this just proves to me that she has little, if any decency.
That's your opinion. It's pretty easy to annoy the crap out of someone until they eventually quit. And it's also easy to do so in a way that can't be considered creating a hostile work environment.
Considering that it's clear that management doesn't like you and would love to see you leave, and your coworkers don't like you either, the one being obtuse is you for not finding another job before you become unemployed.
It's pretty easy to annoy the crap out of someone until they eventually quit. And it's also easy to do so in a way that can't be considered creating a hostile work environment.
That's true. Some ways to do it:
-continue to scrape a bracelet along your desk and refuse to remove it when the affected employee tells you it's affecting their hearing condition and causing pain, stress
-move said employee around several times, removing them from the area where they could work most productively and with the least distractions; ending up in the noisiest seat of the office, right along a frequently traveled path
-change their schedule continuously with no end in sight, requiring the employee to remain ultra flexible in order to maintain a decent amount of hours
-schedule an employee to work 6-7 days a week, essentially to the point of exhaustion where soon their reliability and productivity may start to be affected
-No room for advancement, doing the same thing, over and over again....despite an employee's assertions they'd like to learn new things, have new objectives, etc.
....
Anyone got some more examples of how it's pretty easy to annoy the crap out of someone until they eventually quit without making it appear to be a hostile working environment?
That's true. Some ways to do it:
-continue to scrape a bracelet along your desk and refuse to remove it when the affected employee tells you it's affecting their hearing condition and causing pain, stress
-move said employee around several times, removing them from the area where they could work most productively and with the least distractions; ending up in the noisiest seat of the office, right along a frequently traveled path
-change their schedule continuously with no end in sight, requiring the employee to remain ultra flexible in order to maintain a decent amount of hours
-schedule an employee to work 6-7 days a week, essentially to the point of exhaustion where soon their reliability and productivity may start to be affected
-No room for advancement, doing the same thing, over and over again....despite an employee's assertions they'd like to learn new things, have new objectives, etc.
....
Anyone got some more examples of how it's pretty easy to annoy the crap out of someone until they eventually quit without making it appear to be a hostile working environment?
Excluding them from events with groups of coworkers comes right to mind.
What the hell is this?? The bracelet woman blames me for her oversight again. This time she manages to make me look like I made a mistake and writes it in a ticket for all to see. This is not the first time she's made incorrect assumptions.
What happened this time is that a customer contacted us about a transaction attempt that was not credited to his account. Our procedures are such that if there's such an issue, we are to submit a form that is saved on the intranet for supervisors to check. If the transaction is found, the customer's account is credited manually by a supervisor.
My colleague followed the procedure. However the ticket remained open for 10 days without action from the supervisors. Since we are responsible for checking and handling colleagues' open tickets, I followed up with my supervisor, asking if she could check, who then suggested I talk to the bracelet woman. In an IM chat she suggested I just steal the ticket from my colleague and assign it to her. Great, so maybe we can finally get a resolution.
Except get this...bracelet woman handles the ticket and assigns it back to me, writing:
This transaction was not found. Please next time use only the form to report transactions failures.
--------
I already know the procedure and my colleague followed it. The form was submitted. She just didn't do anything to resolve it and since I saw the customer was still waiting for the credit, I had to do something. Plus, I followed my own supervisor's directives and the one who ended up handling the ticket is the one who asked me to assign it to her.
I'm royally pissed at this woman and am thinking of escalating it to my boss. The problem is, she might bring up the bracelet issue and then I'd be at the center of yet another controversy. I could also simply include it in my next team report.
What would you do? I really don't want to start WWIII with the bracelet woman, but when she makes it seem like I didn't follow procedure (or her directives in lieu thereof), when in fact I did, I simply can't accept that.
Last edited by ValueAddedWorker; 06-18-2010 at 10:29 AM..
You referred to the bracelet woman as a manager in a previous post. I'd call that strike two this week.
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