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Most Americans are more genial and warm to strangers than other Westerners, but very few will stand up to help their so-called "friends" if doing so might have a long term negative impact on them. I realize as an American I may be part of the problem even though I try not to be, but if the chips were down I'd be much more confident in my odds if I had a Scot or Englishman by my side than most Americans.
Most Americans are more genial and warm to strangers than other Westerners, but very few will stand up to help their so-called "friends" if doing so might have a long term negative impact on them. I realize as an American I may be part of the problem even though I try not to be, but if the chips were down I'd be much more confident in my odds if I had a Scot or Englishman by my side than most Americans.
True. When I was in China, it was easy and natural to borrow cash from friends. I did that in both ways.
When I studied in the US, I was naive enough to borrow money from an American "friend", and learned my lesson.
But I got help from a Korean.
yeah, Americans are friendly but that's more of a cultural trait, you are supposed to have faith in yourself and the world and smile at everyone. I have had several american friends living in Europe who gradually changed their habits, like a female friend who used to smile at everyone in the street and would sometimes (often) get harassed by guys.
I grew up in France, and as a kid you learn "not to speak to strangers", that you can't trust people you don't know and that it's impolite and rude to disturb strangers or to speak to a random person on the street. You usually learn to know people in the long term and it takes time to make friends.
yeah, Americans are friendly but that's more of a cultural trait, you are supposed to have faith in yourself and the world and smile at everyone. I have had several american friends living in Europe who gradually changed their habits, like a female friend who used to smile at everyone in the street and would sometimes (often) get harassed by guys.
I grew up in France, and as a kid you learn "not to speak to strangers", that you can't trust people you don't know and that it's impolite and rude to disturb strangers or to speak to a random person on the street. You usually learn to know people in the long term and it takes time to make friends.
I must admit, I like very much these traits of the french people.
In general, people in France may have all the faults of the world, but the lack of trustworthiness is not amongst them. It's hard to have friendship with frenchmen and women, but when they are our friends, they ARE our friends.
I must admit, I like very much these traits of the french people.
In general, people in France may have all the faults of the world, but the lack of trustworthiness is not amongst them. It's hard to have friendship with frenchmen and women, but when they are our friends, they ARE our friends.
yeah, the reverse side is that it can take forever to meet people and go beyond the polite chit-chat.
For instance it is rude to not say "hello" to someone living in your apartment building, but it can also be intrusive to say more, especially if you first meet. Depends on the context. We make use of various forms of politeness, and this can be tricky to understand, even for people who were born there.
Also, there are regional / social variations, I think in some southern areas or in ex-industrial blue collar zones (for instance in the north near Belgium or for instance the city of Saint-Etienne) it is a bit easier to talk to people in a direct way, at least in my experience.
I really like the friendliness of Americans, but as a French, my mind is always amazed at how nice they are and to me this instinctively mean they want to be friends forever, whereas in reality they might not talk to me again in some other context.
This is western privacy, it is not acceptable to ask too many questions when just met. But at least people will tell you where are they from.
In Japan, another East Asian country, it is not socially acceptable to ask too many personal questions too. There is also a stricter social hirreachy depending on the age and position.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bettafish
Westerners are sensitive to too many things. They don't ask about age, wage, religion, career, weight, marriage status.... and eventually you know nothing about other people.
If you go to China, for example, the first question is "how old are you"? Followed by "What do you do?.., How much do you make as a XXX in America?"
Ease in making (and keeping friends) really depends on the individual but I do find that it would be much easier to make and keep them if you go out of your way to learn and adopt their culture, language and lifestyles (rather than expect them to accept you for who you are even though you are friendly and outgoing).
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