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I was born in 1986 and went to school in Australia. Although shy, and in high school, much of a loner, I don't think I was really bullied much at all. The only time I felt uncomfortable was when these two boys would sort of push me around 'playfully' but I didn't like it, but I didn't say so. In primary school I wasn't really bullied at all, tbh. In high school the popular kids actually took a sort of liking to me even if I was too shy to really socialise. I remember whenever a girl I liked talked to me I would be too shy to even look at her or say much. Most libraries were spent in the lunchtime reading, which might have alleviated any possibility of bullying.
On TV it seems that high school is a place where bullying is rampant, and almost expected if you are weak, especially in American schools. I don't know how true/exaggerated that is, but I always thought that in comparison bullying seemed uncommon in my school. Now I DID witness bullying, don't get me wrong, but it hardly seemed as common or severe as depicted. Then again I think it varies with the school and also the era. Despite all the paranoia I got the impression bullying was worse in the past, although you didn't have 'cyber-bullying.' I have heard tales of horrific bullying, though, both in Australia and elsewhere.
I went to public schools, but in pretty good areas, except for a brief 6 month stint at a private school which was actually in a lower-socio economic area and more 'blue collar.' There I befriended a boy with a developmental disabilities who seemed sort of ostracised, and on a couple of occasions felt people were targeting and bullying him verbally. To my shame I didn't do anything at the time because i was super-shy and was sort of friendly with some of the bullies too.
What was it like for you growing up? Were you bullied a lot, or did you witness a lot of bullying? Did you hear about a lot of bullying in other school or in your own school? Or perhaps your children were bullied or you know about bullying in your child's school?
Last edited by The Postman; 06-03-2014 at 07:26 AM..
I went to a public school system in New Jersey and graduated in 2011. I experienced a decent amount of bullying in Middle School, but almost zero in High School because I finally started to defend myself (not physically, of course) and stopped caring so much about what people thought of me. I can't say I really experienced bullying much in HS but in Middle School I definitely did, it actually made me feel better that I wasn't so alone, as terrible as that sounds. I was cyber bullied by a girl who I had been best friends with for 7 years on Myspace, but she was a moron and I knew that and I really didn't care lol.
I went to a public school system in New Jersey and graduated in 2011. I experienced a decent amount of bullying in Middle School, but almost zero in High School because I finally started to defend myself (not physically, of course) and stopped caring so much about what people thought of me. I can't say I really experienced bullying much in HS but in Middle School I definitely did, it actually made me feel better that I wasn't so alone, as terrible as that sounds. I was cyber bullied by a girl who I had been best friends with for 7 years on Myspace, but she was a moron and I knew that and I really didn't care lol.
What sort of things did you experience?
One girl was kind of mean to me. One time when were did dancing for PE she said, matter-of-factly to me, 'you have a huge head', something I was sensitive about (it really isn't that big but a bit larger than average, I also have always lived with a reputation for being smart and brainy). She wasn't very nice in general, nor popular. I think it's a simplification and often a myth that the popular kids bully the most. Usually it's people who are insecure/have to prove something or are troubled. If you're really happy you don't tend to bully unless you're just a bad person who does it for kicks.
I can't really remember much about the atmosphere in primary school. I don't think it was big for bullying, but definitely some kids got it occasionally. I think everyone during most of primary is so young that most bullying was just superficial horseplay.
High school was a little more intense, but not terrible. Where I am from, Sudbury, is a very blue-collared town, without much emphasis on being cosmopolitan or tolerant, but more hormonal and stoic. It is a centre for many of the poorly-serviced satellite towns in central Ontario who come in for school and recreation so if you're 'different' or 'sharper' a lot of kids feel threatened or neglected or something and find ways to get under your skin.
On the other hand, I went to an arts school for my last two years of highschool, and that place was the antithesis of the typical high school experience. Tons of people wouldn't even drink or go to parties or do other traditional young adult things like that. Odd considering it's an art school. The funny thing is that to all outsiders it has a reputation from hell. For some reason everyone thinks it is a school for junkies and freaks, because it's located in a 'rough' part of town. Couldn't be further from the facts.
I grew up in the San Fernando Valley of LA and it has always been common nature to see people of all backgrounds- there were racial and socio-economic divisions obviously. My high school was like "Breakfast Club". I grew up in Sherman Oaks which until now is a more "white" part of the city but still somewhat racially mixed at that time.
I have older cousins in London and Australia and their experiences in high school were of being pelted with objects or spat at, for being "Asian"...this was in the late 80s, early 90s so I'd think things have improved by now (they're quite a bit older than myself). I also have Asian-American cousins who grew up in small town Minnesota of all places and they had a harder time than myself (shoved in lockers for being 'nerds' etc). They said kids would make squinty eyes at them. Never had that happen to me in Southern CA, even as a child. I have cousins in Northern CA and their experiences mirrored mine (less bullying directed towards race).
The cliques are in every high school all over the world. "Birds of a feather flock together"...However, I think if you are a minority in a smaller city/ town high school, you will have a harder time "being different." Never had a thing for small cities anyway
Grew up in Chicago IL, at my high school you were either a millionaire or was living below the poverty line. My high school had many cliques, the gays, the jocks, the hipsters, being at my high school i saw A TON of bullying, I was never bullied, I was always the nice one everyone liked and wanted to be friends with and I was quite popular, but some of the other students would get into fights over little things such as boyfriends, girlfriends, others would get into fights really just over nothing. I found the movies exaggerate a bit about the popular kids, most of the poular kds at my school no one really wanted to hang out with or be with, but I will admit many of the movies have a lot in common with a normal American high school. Another thing is that i the movies they make it seem like no one cares about homework or studying, well at my school almost every single person wanted good grades and did there homework. This was only about 10 years ago.
Location: NYC based - Used to Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
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I experienced it in elementary school back in Indonesia. (3rd to 5th - bullied by the same chubby, pale, greasy haired classmate erghhh). I had never been bullied after that time period due to my parents's job which required me to travel with them and went from one international school to the next.
So;
This guy in elementary school liked to push me, slap me and punch me for no reason. But for some odd reason I still played with him during recess. If I look back now, I would never ever assocoate myself with him.
Anyway his mom was also a bully. I always saved my pocket money to buy comic books. And I always made sure that I took care of them. One day I made a mistake of bringing the comic book to remedial class after school. Of course he wanted to read it, and I said no because I knew he would rip the comic apart. He ofc whined to his mom who happened to wait outside. She came and actually held my by my wrist and asked me to let him borrow it. She said that he would take care of it. I gave it to him reluctantly. Ofc 5 weeks later, it was returned in a horrible condition. (And I had to ask him almost everyday to return it to me).
Anyway fast forward to 5th grade. One day he physicially bullied me and I had enough. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pinned him against the wall and punched his face until it hit the wall. What I remember after that event was that everybody who happened to be surrounding us started clapping their hands and shouted "Way to go!..." etc etc
So I guess my classmates noticed what he did to me. But why on earth they never helped?
Ofc since then he was afraid to associate with me. HA HA!
I guess it is scarier to see somebody who is usually calm suddenly changed into a violent person!
Anyway several years ago, I happened to have a reunion with these classmates. When I met him he said "OMG, we used to be best buddy! We had so much fun together!" I just rolled my eyeballs behind his back.
I am not sure how he remembered it that way.
I grew up in the San Fernando Valley of LA and it has always been common nature to see people of all backgrounds- there were racial and socio-economic divisions obviously. My high school was like "Breakfast Club". I grew up in Sherman Oaks which until now is a more "white" part of the city but still somewhat racially mixed at that time.
I have older cousins in London and Australia and their experiences in high school were of being pelted with objects or spat at, for being "Asian"...this was in the late 80s, early 90s so I'd think things have improved by now (they're quite a bit older than myself). I also have Asian-American cousins who grew up in small town Minnesota of all places and they had a harder time than myself (shoved in lockers for being 'nerds' etc). They said kids would make squinty eyes at them. Never had that happen to me in Southern CA, even as a child. I have cousins in Northern CA and their experiences mirrored mine (less bullying directed towards race).
The cliques are in every high school all over the world. "Birds of a feather flock together"...However, I think if you are a minority in a smaller city/ town high school, you will have a harder time "being different." Never had a thing for small cities anyway
I would say racial bullying was probably worse back then. I distinctly remember my first experience, I was probably in year 1 or 2 (age 6/7) in primary school and some girl just said 'ching chong ching chong' to me. I think these events made me more aware I was physically different and want to fit in more. My school was ethnically diverse, btw, and these weren't really common occurrences.
Well I suppose the stuff on TV has to at least be based on reality, but the idea of someone randomly shoving people into lockers for being nerds never happened (at least I didn't see it) in my school and seems corny. Of course in the early 90s they introduced a 'zero tolerance' approach to bullying, but of course if the teachers didn't catch you and you didn't report it (as often happened) that was pointless.
Grew up in Chicago IL, at my high school you were either a millionaire or was living below the poverty line. My high school had many cliques, the gays, the jocks, the hipsters, being at my high school i saw A TON of bullying, I was never bullied, I was always the nice one everyone liked and wanted to be friends with and I was quite popular, but some of the other students would get into fights over little things such as boyfriends, girlfriends, others would get into fights really just over nothing. I found the movies exaggerate a bit about the popular kids, most of the poular kds at my school no one really wanted to hang out with or be with, but I will admit many of the movies have a lot in common with a normal American high school. Another thing is that i the movies they make it seem like no one cares about homework or studying, well at my school almost every single person wanted good grades and did there homework. This was only about 10 years ago.
I'm surprised millionaires would go to the same school as those living under the poverty line in Chicago. I get the idea it's a very segregated city. Wait, if no one wanted to hang out with the popular how are they popular then? Isn't that the definition of popular?
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