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I think the culture shock you feel when you "travel" as opposed to "relocate" is much different.
When you are on a vacation, you just look at it with amazement, but deep inside you are at arm distance because you know you are going home to Hoboken. Yes, many people try to absorb as much as they can in the two week vacation, eat the food, dance etc. however that is very different then living somewhere. You travel to specifically have the shock and see something different then go home to look at pictures. That wears off after a few months and the "living" starts.... buzzzzzzz
I have lived in Tokyo for nearly three years...Its not shock, its more like being struck by lightning!!
The polar opposite of everything I have known before....and its great! The real culture shock I find is when we (I) try and do things in an American way. Trying to pay a bill, or rent a house or see a movie...simple things that are just different and can be a challenge, but fun!
I get frustrated, but that frustration is mine...Japan has and does work fine without me and my pretense about how things "should be". This is what I signed up for and it has changed me for the better. Taken this NY boy and made him polite, humble and have infinite patience... Now there's a shock!
My culture shock came within the USA. I grew up within the city of Chicago (no suburbs) among people from around the world. Most people I knew(including my family) growing up did not speak English as their first language. I had only one or two actual American friends, everyone else was from another country. When I was 18, I moved with my military husband to Meridian MS. From there, we moved to Cherry Point, NC.
The culture shock was HUGE (and, some 30 years later, is still going on somewhat). I had never been around that many Americans before, certainly not military and not Southerners. Very few people spoke any other language than Southern slang. Everything was spread out, there was no such thing as "walking to the corner store". Everyone wanted to talk to you (why?) and were unnaturally friendly. Underlying that "friendliness" is a certain amount of backstabbing and shallowness. You really cannot trust anyone as being your true friend. People actually carry guns and hunt things.... It was (is) another planet. Appearances are everything. Substance means nothing. People move so much slower and are unreliable. There is more prejuice against anyone/anything "different".
As you can tell, I have never really gotten over the culture shock. I have adapted, but, I stay pretty much to myself. My friends here are almost all other transplanted Chicagoans or northerners. I have very few Southern friends. I tried, for years to adapt and blend in, but, was labled "too much of a Yankee" no matter what I did, so, I stopped trying.
May I ask what you tried to do to assimilate? By having all transplant friends you are never going to escape the "Damn yankee" label. We resent them on principle already.
In all honesty there are many one-way tickets to isolation here. For example:
If the words "We did it this way back in _____" came out of your mouth, then thats almost a 1-way ticket to isolation.
If you come across as pushy or in too much of a hurry
If you refuse to learn any of our ways of doing things. We'll listen to your ways, and we expect the same in return.
If you are abrupt in your speech and interrupt others or complete their sentences for them.
If you have tried to mimick our accents in our prescence. There is little more annoying to a Southerner than to hear their accent butchered by someone who simply cannot do it.Our ears WILL pick up the difference, and those hearing will remember it the next time.
We are not "slow and unreliable". The pace here is different. What is done on time here is NOT what is considered "on time" in Chicago or anywhere else up north. You must adjust to our pace, because we will not adjust to yours. The phrase "Im on Southern time" holds truth.
People carrying guns and hunting? Why is this "alien"?
Try opening yourself up more to people around you.
I never really had a culture shock visiting the rest of the E.U or when I went to upstate NY. But when I visited the South, especially some poorer parts of MS It was a bad shock.
Never expected that in the US.
Found alot of racism, people were VERY different. But not ALL.
When I first moved to Australia, I was asked if I can cook. I said no, cos in my Asian mind cooking would mean chopping veggies, meat, mixing dozens of ingredients together stuff like that. When I know what they cook for me (frozen schnitzel and a basic salad plus french fries), I said to myself "does this actually count as cooking?". And I was quite surprised on how western people tend to be more straightforward and say what they want to say, very different compared to most Asians who tend to hide their feelings.
Going to Brazil, I acclimate easily. But, coming back to the US,I have a hard time. Too many choices and too much stuff. Too much to "think" about and the social/community thing is the hardest. In Brazil, you feel a bit like you're a part of a family--their family. Here, it's a vastly different feeling.
Going to Brazil, I acclimate easily. But, coming back to the US,I have a hard time. Too many choices and too much stuff. Too much to "think" about and the social/community thing is the hardest. In Brazil, you feel a bit like you're a part of a family--their family. Here, it's a vastly different feeling.
Your post just reminded me of the vast choice in toothpaste in the American shops (a whole aisle dedicated to just toothpaste!! You could spend an entire hour just staring at all the boxes!). It was sure a lot easier in the Irish stores- with two or three choices!
I also miss the sense of community that I had in Ireland. Everyone just felt a part of their town/village there- You could feel like you could have a chat with people of all walks of life, ages, nationalities without any fear or preconceived notions. You wouldn't really do that too much in the States. People generally stick with groups of their own ages, socioeconomic background, color, etc.
You could feel like you could have a chat with people of all walks of life, ages, nationalities without any fear or preconceived notions. You wouldn't really do that too much in the States. People generally stick with groups of their own ages, socioeconomic background, color, etc.
I don't have that experience living in the US....I certainly don't stick to "my kind" as far as age, race or money goes. Some people may, but certainly not everyone...
Where did/do you live in the US? Small towns here can have a sense of closeness for sure.
I'm not trying to start a fight. I'm a born and bred Californian. Nobody said/or is saying you have to stick to your own kind.. Sounds like you misinterpreted my post entirely. When I lived abroad, I had many friends that were from all walks of life. I just don't see it much here. Just my own observations/experiences of living in both places. I had friends from Poland, Belgium, England, Spain, America, and Ireland- some older, some younger. You generally don't see a group of women all hanging out at a restaurant all different nationalities and ages..Do you? Cool if you do, but I don't see it going on so much here in the States.
I think the culture shock you feel when you "travel" as opposed to "relocate" is much different.
When you are on a vacation, you just look at it with amazement, but deep inside you are at arm distance because you know you are going home to Hoboken. Yes, many people try to absorb as much as they can in the two week vacation, eat the food, dance etc. however that is very different then living somewhere. You travel to specifically have the shock and see something different then go home to look at pictures. That wears off after a few months and the "living" starts.... buzzzzzzz
I agree that going to a different country as a tourist is different from going to a country to live, or to spend more time than a 2-week vacation.
My wife is from Thailand, and, as mentioned eariler, we travel to Thailand at least once a year. We spend more time there than sightseers though. LOL! We have a house there, and our plans are to retire over there. The way we've been going about it has been a gradual process. But I'm well aware of people who go there for business reasons, having to spend 3 months to a year or so there, or people who just have a notion to move there will little preparation, that have problems adjusting. Some seem to feel better by sticking with other foreigners as sort of a comfort bubble or comfort zone that they feel more familiar with. As for me, I just sort of leap right into it and mingle with the locals.
For me, I've not really had that kind of experience. Even though I've spent a lot of time there, I know I'll be returning to the U.S. again. I guess if I've had any culture shock (of sorts), it's having to leave Thailand that's hard to do. Sometimes I find myself having to somewhat readjust to the U.S. on return which can take anywhere from a few days to a couple of months. The other thing I dread is jetlag from the East direction return trip to the U.S. It's not a problem going West.
Even though there are a lot of differences between Thailand and the U.S., it's not difficult for me to assimilate, even though I stand out like a sore thumb amongst the locals. I've taken the time to learn the language fairly well, understand many of the customs and culture, can find my way around fairly well, and have many good friends and family there. In addition, my wife and I have blended our cultures together, so we both have a little bit of each for support, as well as having each other. I suppose that's part of why it's not been so difficult for me.
However, if I were to go to an entirely different country for a long period of time, I might well have some difficullty in adjusting. But I think (if at all possible) I would do all I can to prepare myself by learning as much as I can before making such a move. I think one of the biggest problems that contribute to culture shock it related to a lack of understanding your new environment. That can be true for people who just relocate somewhere else within their own country as well.
When you've lived in a place for a while, it becomes home to you. It's a place you understand. You know the environment around you, the people who live there, and the things that go on. You've assimilated into your surroundings and can feel comfortable about it.
Making an abrupt move to somewhere else, can be a bit disorienting for a while tring to figure out where things are, who the people are around you, etc. Everything is strange and new. Sometimes that can be rather frustrating for some people. It takes a desire and interest to want to assimilate as best you can in order to adjust more successfully, and that means wanting to learn more about where you are or will be. I think that can greatly help reduce the effect of culture shock.
That's just my own perspective though.
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