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As commanded imperiously yet with a bit of whimsy on Chinese-food takeout cartons, not necessarily around the world, and definitely not in China, but mostly in the U.S. and Canada, where people buy into that kind of stereotyping with their hard-earned dollars, as little as those dollars are worth in the current economy, enjoy!
I'd like to recommend Gun in Cheek, by Bill Pronzini. It's a collection of some of the worst detective stories you've ever imagined. And completely hilarious they are!
As commanded imperiously yet with a bit of whimsy on Chinese-food takeout cartons, not necessarily around the world, and definitely not in China, but mostly in the U.S. and Canada, where people buy into that kind of stereotyping with their hard-earned dollars, as little as those dollars are worth in the current economy, enjoy!
Oh, thank you. I am sitting here with my morning coffee laughing my ass off.
And from that list, appropriate for this forum:
After five years as freelance writer, Greg finally managed to double his income, letting him add a processed cheese product slice to the baloney sandwiches he had for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
In the sleazy litter box hotel room where he lived, Gus pulled on his “flasher clothes”, donned his ratty trench coat, pulled his rumpled felt hat down over his eyes and shuffled off to the nearby Greyhound Bus Depot to satisfy his perverted compulsion to flash the unsuspecting ladies milling around and expose his fully clad body--being that Gus was an inhibitionist.
Oh, thank you. I am sitting here with my morning coffee laughing my ass off.
And from that list, appropriate for this forum:
[FONT=Times New Roman]After five years as freelance writer, Greg finally managed to double his income, letting him add a processed cheese product slice to the baloney sandwiches he had for breakfast, lunch and dinner.[/FONT]
It don’t bother me none that on my mama’s side I had some great-grandparents who were brother and sister, or that on my father’s side I had some grandparents who were uncle and niece, or that I have an uncle who’s married to a cousin—they’re my incestors and I ain’t ashamed of ‘em.
I've had these saved on my computer for YEARS, I forget where I even found them... but every couple of years I come across them again and they make me laugh - which I guess is kinda mean since they were obviously written by kids...
Quote:
CashMONEY Millionares
By Danyelle Webb
My Name is Danyelle Webb I am 14 years old and i went to the CashMoneny Millionairs concert. When I went inside there were lots of people to watch the cashmoney concert. there were about 5,000,000 people there. Other people were perfroming at the time so I just look around at a couple things and I saw diffrent pictures of the HotBoys. also I saw other pictures of famous people like nelly. I when back to my seat and the cash money concert was about to start to perfrom. I just sat there and waited until the cashmoney came out. The HotBoys was to cold they had fire around them. also they were raping out the number one stunner I know the whole rap they were off the hook. Lil Wayne looked to fine. they had on a platinum change a platinum watch and a platinum ring. The whole cash money crew rap it out for people. They were to fine lil wayne had a red laborghini that he was rapping in. I took pleanly of pictures I went to see them back stage. I hugged lil wayne back stage. I give him a kiss on the lips. The best day.
Lil wayne is a type of boy that is fine and so intelligent, he was very start and he know how to rap very good. Juvenile is a good raper to he helps the group out with things. Turk is a young raper to he is 18 years old an his tape is coming out soon. BG sold a lots of records doing his time. Lil wayne told me that they are coming out with a moive. turk said its of the change. Lil wayne told me any girl can be a hot girl. The big tymers and the hot boys went to go eat some food. I told them I love them and they are my number 1 fans. I told them every book they come out I get it and I told them there poster are all over my room. I love the hot boys best rapper in the world.
Quote:
Cash Money Millionaires
by La Donna Marie Smith
I see these people day and night on television. I saw their videos. One day I saw Cash Money Millionaires at KB Toys . It was at Marketplace mall Rantoul, Illinois. Then I said “hi!” They said “hi” back to me. We chatted for a while and got to know each other. Then we did some shopping. They bought me an ecko, phat farm, and Sean John outfit. Then they drove me home.
Quote:
LIL BOW BOW
By Gelisa Garner
Last week the radio announced that there will be a Bow Wow concert and only one person can get a free ticket and backstage pass but all they have to do is call the radio and tell them all the names of his songs. So I called and told them all the names of his songs in order and I jumped out of my seat once they said you are the winner. Two days later I arrived at the concert and Lil Bow Wow pulled me on stage and we danced together. After the concert was over I went backstage and me and Bow Wow talked about our favorite sports and our favorite foods. Then we went inside his white limo and inside it had a TV connecting with a dreamcast, and we played that as the driver drove, and 15 minutes later we pulled up to a big mall and Lil Bow Wow took me inside and he bought me a polo shirt and a fubu shirt and he also bought me a Sean John outfit. Then he bought me a scooter and we looked around for a while and we got back in the limo and he took me back to the concert and gave me an autograph and a Bow Wow bandana and then we took pictures and he gave me his phone number and I hugged him and I went home.
Quote:
THE CITY
By Fermin Estrada
What is needed in the city? It will help us if they destroy old buildings. Collect the garbage everyday. People should clean up the alley. More pharmacies are needed. The city should build more houses. There should be fewer buses because they make many noises in the morning and night. How could students help the city of Chicago? Help people to pick up litter. Go to school so they are not in the streets causing trouble. There will be less traffic if you could ride bikes or buses. What could the city of Chicago do to help youth? I wish they offered more sports programs. The city of Chicago should build more schools so all the children could have an opportunity to learn.
Quote:
IF I WAS MAYOR
by: Barbara Taylor
If I was mayor the things I would do to make the world a better
place are to lower taxes and make the world safer by putting bars on the
windows and doors of houses to make it impossible to get in without a
key. The reason I would lower taxes is because some people work and
don't make enough money to support their families. The government
takes to much money from people and doesn't give them enough money
back. I would also make it safer for people by putting bars on the
windows and doors of houses so it is impossible for people to get into
without a key. I would do this because so many people die from other
people breaking into their homes and snacthing women and litte girls and
raping them. That's what I would do if I was mayor.
Quote:
DON’T DO DRUGS.
By DIONNA WATTS
Don’t do drugs.
Drugs will be big, some drugs will be little.
I do not want to do drugs.
People should not do drugs, it will make the world a better place.
They should not sell drugs.
Quote:
DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, by Christopher
It was a good day at school. My principal came to my class and said, "A very good man is coming to talk to the class at Goudy School." The good man is Dr. Martin Luther King. He came to our class and talked about the old days. Then he asked the class if they have any questions. I raised my hand and asked, "Was you scared when you was very little?"
He responded "Yes, I was scared when I was in bed and sleeping and smelled smoke. So I ran to my mom's room and said, 'Mom, I smelled smoke.' She ran downstairs to check. Mom said, 'It is not a fire.' I was ok then."
Then I asked, "How old are you?"
He said, "I am 53."
When he was about to go, he said, "Do not give up a dream that you have for your life."
Christopher
Never give up a dream that you have for your life...
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