The deep love of a man (a story of abiding love) (meaning, song)

[LoveWisdom]

Once upon a time there lived a great man. A man who has suffered mental agonies of loneliness and went through some hard times in his youth. This man had felt like he was alone in the world and thrown away. But through it all, he became a better and a wiser person.

There came a time when this man has found a girl who liked him. This girl was damaged too. She did not trust anyone emotionally. But she discovered a great soul in this man, and so she trusted him. They became very close and soon married.

The man has given his heart to the girl and has bonded with her for life. The man was extremely loyal and faithful. The man has adapted to this girl’s personality and became the way she wanted him to be. He tried to please her the best way he knew how.

The girl felt good and secure and content. Their life was pretty good. But it wasn’t as great as it could have been because they were both damaged and tried their best to make the best life even in spite of them.

The girl, for example, did not know what love was. From early childhood, she made herself shut down from wanting it and giving it. She became a sort of a zombie, having just shallow feelings, not really being able to attach to anyone or anything. She was extremely afraid of opening her heart to anyone and of getting hurt. So she lived the safest way she knew how: to not let anyone in, that way they couldn’t hurt her.

So she let the man into her heart only partially. There were two roads to choose from: the road of highs and lows and the road of a happy medium. She chose the happy medium because it prevented her from ever being in too much pain. So she never felt truly happy because she couldn’t let herself open up to it. But she felt content. And that was good enough.

In the beginning, each time the man said “I love you”, she cried because she knew it was something special and wonderful, and something that was missing from her life. But she couldn’t feel those feelings herself because she shut herself off from feeling such things. So she felt guilty for not being able to return the man’s affections. And that’s why she asked him to stop being that way, to stop saying that and make her feel uncomfortable. The man only wanted her happiness, so he complied. There were other little things that didn’t work out quite well, which also damaged their relationship a little bit. But overall, it was still a pretty good existence.

For many years they lived their happy medium existence. Because the man changed his ways to the liking of a girl, he became a non affectionate man and did not express his feelings or his affections for her in any big way.

One day something happened. I am not sure how to express it though. It’s either: “the girl became mentally sick” or “the girl’s needs and desires have changed because her beliefs have changed” or “the girl has woken up from her zombie like existence and realized that she is missing love and feelings; and this felt devastating to her, but she didn’t see a way to “find the way back into love”.

Or maybe it’s all of the above.

So yes, after finding out that there is love to be had and that she doesn’t have it, she became very depressed and suicidal and she felt very empty.

The man loved her deeply, but he couldn’t reach her. She was in her own little world and could not feel his love during this time. She felt abandoned, unwanted and unspecial. And she felt that life was not worth living without love. So she wanted to find it. But she was too afraid to love and to receive love because she knew some parts would be too painful and she was really afraid of pain. So she felt trapped and stuck. She felt that she could not live without love and yet she felt that she could not travel the road to find the love she needed. There was only one way out: to not live, to not feel, to not need…

The man felt really bad. He felt that he was losing her (either to a separation or to death). So he set about saving her. He knew that it would be very difficult and painful for him. But he also knew that he had to do it for her sake. It was the only way to save her.

So what did the man have to do to save her? To let her go… There is a saying: “when you truly love someone, let them go”. And sometimes it’s the hardest thing to do.

The man had encouraged the girl to search for the love that she needed. He was hoping of course that she could find it in him, but he knew that she couldn’t see it. Her eyes were closed to it. So he encouraged her to find it somewhere else. He knew that the girl felt that she should be loyal to him and that she felt guilty for leaving him and searching for love. And the man knew that he must help her not to feel guilty. So he made himself look bad for her sake. Even though he was very faithful and loyal by nature and would never leave her willingly, he told her that he was actually wishing for someone else too. It was very difficult for him to make himself look this bad. But he knew he had to do it for her sake. It actually DID help the girl not to feel too guilty about leaving. So it made her feel happier.

There is another thing that a man had to do for her: he had to convince her that he did not feel that much for her anymore, that it wouldn’t bother him much if she left. He did this, while being in pain about losing her. He pretended to act around her like he didn’t care even though it was killing him inside. While he was listening to a song and crying:

Did I say I wouldn’t be hurt if our love just didn’t work?
Did I say that I’d be okay if you said good-bye?
And did I promise you I could take it if we were through,
and forget about these feelings inside?

Baby I lied
when I told you I could walk away
Baby I lied
and forget about the love we made.
Baby I lied. Baby I lied.

And did I ever tell myself I could always find someone else?
Did I say if you left today it’d be no surprise?
Did I ever leave any doubt I could hold up if you walked out?
I know I told you that I could survive.
Baby I lied (“Baby I lied” by Deborah Allen)

He let her share about her adventures with the guys. He knew that sharing would make her happy. So he let her tell him about the guys and how they made her feel good and how she was excited about all this…

There was one more thing he had to do. The girl worried about him being alone and not happy. So he made contact with some girls online and pretended that he really liked some of them, like there could be hope for him, that he wouldn’t be alone. While thinking to himself: she is the only one I want, the others can’t even come close. And this song also expressed his feelings:

I’d still do anything for you
I’ll play your game
You hurt me through and through
But you can have your way

I can pretend each time I see you
That I don’t care and I don’t need you
And though you’ll never see me cryin’
You know inside I feel like dying
And I’d do anything for you
In spite of it all
But don’t you ever think that I don’t love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don’t work out right
And you just have to say goodbye

I hope you find someone to please you
Somene who’ll care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to

And I’d do anything for you
I’ll give you up
If that’s what I should do
To make you happy

In the mean time, the girl had her own troubles. She discovered that with other guys she felt extremely insecure and that she couldn’t really handle the “dating scene” or the “after dating scene”. She saw so many shortcomings and problems in herself that she couldn’t see how anyone could want her. But even if they did, she was convinced that they would inadvertently keep hurting her because she was so extremely sensitive to everything, to words and to actions. She was like a walking timebomb: any wrong word or action could set her off and make her feel really bad or make her shut down and not trust that person anymore.

There was one very nice person online that the girl ran into and started talking to, and it lasted for a while. He was very patient with her, very gentle and he admired her and told her nice things. She felt comforted by that and those things made her feel good and many bad days turned into good days as a result of that. This person really liked the girl and was willing to sacrifice much for her. So the girl started to trust this person and even considered finding her love in him. But she also was a wise person and she could see all the possible problems that they would have, all the ways that they were incompatible in. So she was going back and forth: should she try something even though she knew that most likely it would fail or should she not? Because if she did try something, most likely it would mess up this person’s life a lot more than her own. So she felt also responsible for his well being. So she couldn’t decide what to do. She did not fall in love. She couldn’t allow herself to feel too much. Over the years, she became really good at not letting her feelings take over. So it was not too hard to suppress them. It seemed foolish to fall in love with someone with whom things probably wouldn’t work out. The person was planning to visit her at some point, and so she was just waiting to see what would happen.

The man knew that this other person was very good for the girl’s emotional well being. So he was happy that she came across this person. Happy on one hand, happy for her. Not happy for himself of course. But it was the cross he was willing to bear for her sake. He was letting her go because he loved her. Because it was the only way to save her from her troubles.

In the mean time, the girl was learning and thinking a lot about love and falling in love and what it means and everything related to that. And one day, one happy day, the girl suddenly saw the truth: what she was seeking was not actually love! She was seeking the feelings of being in love, which actually amount to a thrill, a feeling of “high”. She was seeking drugs! And she was putting everything on the line for the sake of it. She realized the foolishness of her actions. She realized that she has mistaken the “high” feelings of being in love with actual real love. But although they are related because sometimes they come as a package, the “in love” feelings are not actually love.
In some cases, when people fall in love they act very foolishly, they forsake common sense, they hurt themselves and others and they have no power to fight it or run away from it. It is really similar to what happens when people start to take drugs. And usually, trying to get to their next fix, they trample on everything and everyone. And then when the “high” is over, the feelings disappear, their life lays in shambles in front of them. Did they really care about the person they fell in love with? Did they even know the person? Or did they just enjoy the ride of the feelings of rash while it lasted? Do many people have relationships that are very harmful to them? Yes. And why? They can’t escape, they are powerless. So this is love that some people are seeking to find. This song perfectly expresses about SOME cases of falling in love.

"Walk Away" Christina Aguilera
…I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your allure, and I'm fiendin' for a cure
Every time I try to grasp for air, I am smothered in despair it's never over, over
Seems I'll never wake from this nightmare, I let out a silent prayer
Let it be over, over

The girl has learned the following things: real love is when you care about someone. That is real love. And yes, it doesn’t always come with the drug part, the excitement, the thrill…. But should she forsake real love for the sake of a temporary fix? That just didn’t seem like the right thing anymore. She also learned that it’s even possible to fall in love (meaning to feel the excitement) with the right person, given time and effort.

As the girl has realized all these things, her mind was healed and she was saved! All this pain her husband had to go through has paid off and she came back to him. She realized that she already had the love that she was looking for, in her union with the man. And she felt happy, like she was reborn, like something new and beautiful has come into her life.

And she said this to the man:

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting
with your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself

Don't ask me why I'm crying
Cuz when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself
You're gonna save me from myself

("Save Me From Myself", Christina Aguilera)

And the man felt happy too. And he told himself: “hmm, I guess sometimes when you let something go, it’s a way to make it come back to you”.

And they lived happily ever after…. Well, maybe not exactly… After all, they were still damaged and they would still have their problems to work with, but at least, they got a great start on their new life.

[GreyKarast]

This is a story similar to my (of my life) to 80 percent! I was with a girl, loved more than life, did everything that was Happy. but when I realized that you need to let her go (because it will be better) I did so. Said that I did not love, and hate .9 months fell asleep only (with included music in the headphones) in General and could not sleep. At work thought about her every day. Looking at the phone thinking of calling, but his pride would not allow it. For these 3 years I have not looked at the other) lived only for the she. but the time has come and I let her go (but I still Love do no less) But she's better, even though it is not easy.

[GreyKarast]

Hi! sometimes it is better to leave it as is. Walking in the dingy alone wherever my eyes lead me. Envy free the wind. lonely the stars. The wise sun and dumb moon. sometimes we are afraid to lose and lose what we have. Although all that we do not and all that would be with us not happened . Written one hand. And if we have learned to live hereby. The not hiding would myself. maybe for this and there is emptiness. So that man could learn and be aware of it. And the smile of happiness, our loneliness is not that got lost in the emptiness of our hearts. And in that which cometh out of him. I think that you are alone in the world, when look in your eyes. And let the days of do not differ from one another. As well as the time from sunset to sunrise. and every day empty feeling becomes steadier's stinginess is no matter-or the past . not sundown to the future. It is satisfied with the fact that looking at people. but You someday understand - That the darkest hour in Your life, in front of the most beautiful dawn.
And let people come into your life. In search of something new, but go. Being the same as They were to understand that the Old past, it's better than real. That life is interesting is that when
the men among You, one and the same. And as something of itself, it turns out that they are in your life. And they are not noticing, the desire to change it. It will take time! And You again read this letter. And only then You will be able to understand it. And Than the unusual person. The easier it with the mind . Thus invisible to others. The easier it is to lose it. And the meaning of his words. And the meaning of life to understand under the force is not given to everyone. May we with you shall not see you again. and everything will remain a simple dream of a lonely man. But I ask You! Never forget!!!! That Your wealth - gives rise to the emptiness of the heart. You need to find. And There only. Everything that you understand. And get on the path to him. Acquire its own meaning. It is there! Where void hide Your heart. And the soul. The soul of the faithful to the law of life. Hidden your treasure. Your love! Remember and Appreciate what you have!

[personwhoisaperson]

I like the idea. I think the way you wrote it was very matter-of-fact. The story should have been written with a little more feeling. Other than that, good job.

[GreyKarast]

Always only forward and never back!