Do you use real names when you write about your life? (meaning, quote)

[FarNorthDallas]

I found some journal type writings last week of when I was in a sorority over 25 years ago and I put some of them on a blogger blog. I just used first names and if it was something sensitive I used a fake name (for instance one of my sorority sisters was murdered in a bad drug deal a couple of years later). Really, there are no major revelations here. It's mostly just stupid and funny - and funny probably only to me. But now I've been told to change all the names. Should I?

[bjh]

Generally, things are written with a disclaimer when names are changed. It's okay to change them, just give a heads up!

[FarNorthDallas]

But, I don't really want to change them.

[Basiliximab]

I heard from another writer that if you do use real names, you'll end up regretting it later (they used a different phrase than that). So, if I were to write about a real story that actually happened to me, I would change the names (of course, if you're not planning to publish it, then it wouldn't matter; but I still would change them--just in case).

[bjh]

Like lawsuits?

[Michi_B]

I used my real name in the non-fic/self-help book that my agent's shopping around, but I changed the names of everyone else to protect their privacy.

[Bluesmama]

Last winter I stumbled across something that inspired me to write my entire life story, in details, of any and everything that I can remember.

What brought this on was a reality check that my memory really ain't what it used to be. In '91 I began a profile of my life that was intended for my daughter when I felt she was ready for it. (It was to help her understand some things about me, as well as her roots and family lineage.) But I never finished it. I stopped at 4th grade, put it away and forgot all about it. (And, unfortunately, she crossed over several years later.)

This winter I found that journal, and was shocked at how many details (primarily names) that I had forgotten in almost 20 years! See, I've always been noted for my memory. And realizing how much it had slackened just wasn't acceptable.

So I took on this humongous task of recording everything that I could, in chronological order, no matter how big or small, and recording it in as much detail as possible. Since mine was a very unstable, chaotic childhood it actually made me very emotional and drained. But it was great brain exercise, and as I went along I could feel more memories pour out.

Spring came and I put the project on halt again. I made it to junior high, my worst years. But I do intend to resume it this coming winter when I have down time. I do think that more people should try to do this, just to work the brain.

I use real names and I don't spare anything. However, I don't exactly plan to publish it, either (although the American Mental Association may take an interest in it for a case study . . LOL!!!) When ~ IF! ~ I find myself done with it, I may or may not let my brothers read it. But I will tack on a note that it is to be destroyed immediately if found after I'm gone.

[bjh]

Yes, writing about the past does bring back more memories days later.

[yellowsnow]

I often use real names when I write. It helps me manage my characters.

When and if it's going to be published, I change the names. Word processing makes it easy.

[houstoner]

Originally Posted by Basiliximab

I heard from another writer that if you do use real names, you'll end up regretting it later (they used a different phrase than that). So, if I were to write about a real story that actually happened to me, I would change the names (of course, if you're not planning to publish it, then it wouldn't matter; but I still would change them--just in case).

I'd tend to agree with this. There are actually rules surrounding real name usage in writing and libel law. I'm not too familiar with the legalities myself, but I urge you to look it up. From what I recall, the gist is you can write whatever you want as long as it's true. Personally, I would either get permission or change the names if it's writing that's going to be seen by any eyes other than my own. Just because you may find the story or anecdote funny or non-offensive doesn't mean the person it happened to will, too. You don't want to face an irate old friend or relative down the line, or worse, legal problems. One trick some writers use is to choose a character name beginning with the same letter as the real name, or something that sounds similar, like Caitlin for a person you knew named Catherine, for example. I love names in general, the place and language they come from, the meanings behind them, how they sound, so I find making up names for characters fun!