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"That said", and "Actually", and all the others are simply markers, that the speaker uses to alert the listener that what is said next needs to be viewed as having a special or non-literal relationship to what was just said.
Even "You know" is a functional (if overused) marker to indicate "what I am about to tell you should not surprise you, as it is something that I think you are already aware of, and I just want to remind you to take it into account in the overall context of my argument, in case you might not have already thought of and considered its relevance". The marker saved us all that.
That said, I would prefer someone use "however" "anyway" "that said" over the annoying "ummmm". I find it incredibly difficult to listen to people who use "ummmm" while attempting to transition from one thought to the other. Or "like". I once interviewed someone who used "like" every other word. It was distracting. I have no idea if she made any valid points during the interview, as all I heard after a while was "like".
I had to resurrect this old thread since reading the replies on this forum makes me cringe every time I read the replies that I hope are helpful but can't seem to get past these phrases in nearly every thread.
It reminds me of people who use big words that they think make them seem intelligent but in my opinion only make them look stupid.
Why don't you just say groovy or awesome or totally? Wouldn't that make you look more with it?
The phrase 'that being said' kind of annoys me because the person already said it. As the OP stated.
I have caught myself almost saying that phrase, and then I scold myself.
It isn't getting bent out of shape but it is a redundant phrase and I notice it. I think that it is completely unneccessary for one to state that they just stated.
It is not being judgmental but it is something that people don't think about.
I am guilty of saying 'like'..I don't say it all the time but I grew up in California and I wasn't exactly a Valley Girl but there were many speech patterns that I had to break and they are not completely gone. Like, you know, I am like a product of my culture. I will catch myself sometimes. We don't notice our own speech patterns.
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