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My wife and I moved from Japan to Clifton Park in August, and we have two young children. We're at a bit of a loss for how to keep them active, social and get them out of the house in the winter. My wife's feeling a bit trapped in our small apartment with two kids. (It is not small by Japanese standards, but we weren't at home nearly as much either.)
In our condominium in Japan, there was an indoor "kids room" where parents and children could go play regardless of how cold or wet it got outside.
My son does take part in the 3-year-old pre-school two mornings a week at the YMCA, as well as a once-a-week kids program, and they go to the library...but we're not sure where a stay-home mom with two young kids is supposed to go to let the kids play and socialize and where she might be able to meet other moms.
We've never lived anywhere this cold, nor do we have any experience with raising kids in the U.S., so I'm hoping some of you can give me ideas, insights and/or groups that would help all three of them get out of the apartment, socialize and move around.
I used to live in both 'downstate NY' and New England so I know it is hard in winter to socialize your kids and keep them busy.
I am not too familiar with Clifton Park but it seems to me your kids are 'getting out' quite a bit. I was a stay home mom with a child and we only did library events and once or twice a week play group.
People also tend to just take their kids outside, even in the snow, and let them play. Kids need play more than structured activities. Walks in the park do preschoolers a lot of good and they nap better.
Some parents actually take their kids to preschool (not a Y one but a 'real one') a few more times a week to keep them busy. Also they go to places like Chucky Cheese (not sure if they exist up here) or McDonalds and the kids play in the ball pit. I was never one for fast food or that sort of environment but your wife may consider it for her sanity.
Maybe its your WIFE who needs to get out once you come home for her sanity. Alone (without kids).
Good luck. Meeting people at any age is hard in my opinion, especially when you are from another culture. Americans (overall) are nice people. If your wife is a typical Japanese lady, I assume she is a bit shy. Here in NY you have to 'be a bit pushy' or put yourself out there to meet people. Maybe your wife can join a class. Does she speak English? Maybe an ESL class? I know in Japan you may learn English but speaking it is another thing to reading and writing a foreign language.
My wife and I moved from Japan to Clifton Park in August, and we have two young children. We're at a bit of a loss for how to keep them active, social and get them out of the house in the winter. My wife's feeling a bit trapped in our small apartment with two kids. (It is not small by Japanese standards, but we weren't at home nearly as much either.)
In our condominium in Japan, there was an indoor "kids room" where parents and children could go play regardless of how cold or wet it got outside.
My son does take part in the 3-year-old pre-school two mornings a week at the YMCA, as well as a once-a-week kids program, and they go to the library...but we're not sure where a stay-home mom with two young kids is supposed to go to let the kids play and socialize and where she might be able to meet other moms.
We've never lived anywhere this cold, nor do we have any experience with raising kids in the U.S., so I'm hoping some of you can give me ideas, insights and/or groups that would help all three of them get out of the apartment, socialize and move around.
Does she have access to a car? Maybe trips to other communities would help. A trip to Sarartoga Springs or to a science museum in Albany or Schenectady might help. what about things like this?
There are lots of things to do in the Capital District with small kids, but they can take a while to ferret out. I pretty much stuck to Albany County when my kids were small, so I don't have any specific advice for Clifton Park, but I did get started by picking up a couple of free publications for parents. One is the Capital District Parent Pages. Can't remember the name of the other, but take a look around the community bulletin boards in your library - they may have some there, along with other ideas. I know that Toymaker toy store in Stuyvesant Plaza in Albany usually has a rack of them.
I used to go to the Mothers Center in Albany. I believe there are similar groups in the Clifton Park area, such as Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) groups.
1.5 is a tough age in the winter, but s/he can definitely enjoy some sledding if we ever get any snow. Does your Y have an ice rink? If not, the Bethlehem Y does, and all Capital District YMCA members are allowed to use every Y in the system. Bethlehem offers lessons to both children and adults. It also has free ice time. There are a number of free and low cost municipal rinks in both Albany and Troy. Our favorite is Swinburne Park in Albany, but I hear that the rink on the Empire State Plaza has reopened this year after a couple of year hiatus.
Best of luck. I agree with MaryPoppins that it may be your wife that needs the activities more than the kids :-) Especially if you moved here for a new job, chances are you are working a lot of hours while you learn the ropes.
I agree - I doubt the kids are very stir-crazy, definitely not at that age. But it can definitely be harder on the grown-up who is used to different cultural norms, etc. I'd concentrate on having her find a few friends or activities she likes to do - the kids will be fine regardless - especially with the activities already mentioned. They'd be fine with that until they got to be schoolage, really. Good luck to her (and you), it must be a huge adjustment. She'll make friends, though - just give it time.
I doubt the kids are very stir-crazy, definitely not at that age.
Well, I know all too well how stir-crazy kids can get! My oldest when he was 2& would pound on the front door yelling "OUT". It was because of his personality that I learned quickly that he wanted to get out and do things just about EVERY day. There were plenty of days I'd have been happy to stay home, but planned events for my kids because they like to get out. I would search newspapers and online for events for my kids.
Which reminds me Parent Pages is a free "newspaper" for parents and has articles and info for stuff to do w/kids. You can find it at kid friendly places like I listed above, and also at libraries. Ah speaking of libraries, I can't remember if anyone mentioned story hour. The library in Clifton Park I've heard has a great kids area. The Sanborn Library in Colonie is nice and the main branch in Schenectady are nice. If you have an active kid like I do, I don't recommend the Niskayuna branch.
Tell your wife to feel free to message me if she has any specific questions. Good luck.
I wasn't trying to offend. And yeah, I guess it can depend on personality. I have a very mellow 3 year old and a very high-needs 4 year old. However, even the high-needs one has responded to re-direction at that age. I realize that not all kids would. But it's an option to explore - if the mama is stir-crazy, chances are that would rub off on the kiddos as well. If it's not her, then it's not.
Thank you very much for all the help and ideas. I don't have time to reply to everyone, so I've only replied to a few things, in hopes that some more information will help prompt more helpful suggestions:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarysPoppins
People also tend to just take their kids outside, even in the snow, and let them play. Kids need play more than structured activities. Walks in the park do preschoolers a lot of good and they nap better.
I definitely agree. I think part of the problem might just be our family not being used to freezing temperatures. My son complains that it "hurts" when it's too cold out, no matter how much we bundle him up, and my wife and I are definitely wimps when it comes to cold temperatures as well...
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarysPoppins
Maybe its your WIFE who needs to get out once you come home for her sanity. Alone (without kids).
I appreciate your concern, but I honestly don't think that's the case. I forced her out of the house to go spend a few hours enjoying the after Christmas sales by herself, and I've bought her an hour long massage that I'm trying to get her to use, but Japanese culture being what it is her first and foremost priority is being there for the kids and doing what's best for the kids. The day that she really got upset about this was a day where she (who despite her saint-like patience is only human) got irritated by both children over the course of the day, and felt like a bad mom because she felt they both kept asking for her attention as continuously as they were because she wasn't keeping them as active, outside and engaged as much as she thinks she should.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckhthankgod
Does she have access to a car?
She does, but after 15 years of being a "paper driver" in Japan (a term for someone who gets a license that doesn't drive) she's not comfortable driving far distances or driving on multi-lane roads and she has yet to get on the highway. That somewhat limits her options. I'm sure she'll get more comfortable with time, but I don't want to stress her more by pushing her to drive to places she's not comfortable with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by j12308
Well, I know all too well how stir-crazy kids can get! My oldest when he was 2& would pound on the front door yelling "OUT".
Very much agreed. Both children were born Japan and are used to going out on foot multiple times every day, being surrounded by other people (the very small local park always had lots of children), and pretty much playing, moving and interacting all day, which is definitely something I'd like to replicate as much as possible. Whenever the front door is open, my daughter runs out and points down the stairs or at the car, trying to convey that she wants to go somewhere.
The kids are very, very active, and that combined with what they've been used to as a daily routine (even after moving to Clifton Park, they'd walk to the apartment complex's park every day in addition to other activities until it got too cold for that) it's definitely a huge change to have them now spend a large chunk of hours inside in front of the TV or playing in our cramped apartment.
There are some great ideas here, and I thank all of you who have contributed suggestions, and in addition to that my wife found a new weekly event that is now scheduled such that she can participate in it (where it used to overlap with preexisting plans). I'm open to receiving more, but we're definitely looking into these!
One of my favorite places to go in the winter when my kids were small was the Albany International Airport. You will have to pay a small fee for parking, but we would go to the third floor observation area to watch the planes land and to see all the trucks and workers doing their thing. It's a wide open space and there was hardly ever anyone there, so the kids could run around a bit, I could get a coffee, and every one was happy. This is the floor with the art exhibits, too, they're always pretty cool as well. It's not the best place for meeting other moms, I guess, but we always had fun, especially on a sunny day when you could really see the planes coming and going.
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