Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Much of our perception of "friendliness" is shaped by our own expectations and outlook. Individuals who are highly critical, and tend to expect perfection of others almost always have a negative view of others-no one ever meets their unrealistic expectations (including themselves). Tearing down others is a way of elevating themselves, and their own viewpoints. You can identify them pretty easily on these forums-they complain the most, argue the most, and engage in the most personal attacks.
The more reasonable we are, the more likely we are to overlook the minor failings that are just a part of the human experience. We are more likely to have a positive view of the same experience that others view as negative. We can choose to remember the positive aspects of our experiences, and judge others by that. Or, we can focus in on a minor flaw or mistake and allow it to block out all the good. Reasonable people tend to be happier. Always having something to complain about does no good for one's personality or health.
Acceptance of others begins with acceptance of oneself. I accept that I am not that accepting of others. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. . . .
I have a real problem with the previous post because I don't think one's taste in people is dictated by reason. I have strong likes and dislikes in people, just as I tend to do in other areas.
Considerate behavior matters to me much more than friendliness. There are plenty of friendly people in the world who don't particularly interest me.
I have a real problem with the previous post because I don't think one's taste in people is dictated by reason. I have strong likes and dislikes in people, just as I tend to do in other areas.
Seems to me you both may be right. Our likes and dislikes are often ruled by our subconscious, which does act totally by reason. I think it's just that our conscious self doesn't always see what our subconscious does or therefore understand those reasons. We may think we "instinctively" don't like someone, but that's because our subconcious has identified a very real reason to not like them.
I have found many in Albuquerque to be unhappy and even angry. There is also a culture of over-drinking, and that may be related to the unhappiness / anger part. Be careful driving, because there is a lot of "road rage" there too. And I certainly don't mean to paint with a broad brush, because I have met many generous and kind people as well.
Also, I was only in Albuquerque for about a month visiting family ... I am a Vermonter originally from Ohio. Even though Vermont is the Northeast, and traditionally known as home to more reserved people (some may say rude!) - the most kind people I've ever met are here and the Midwest in general.
Maybe it's the reserved nature that teaches people to filter what they say, and New Mexicans are just more vocal. Or perhaps it's a more fundamental thing. Then again I found people in Santa Fe to be less unhappy by far, and even people in Tijeras are more happy ... so my experience in Albuquerque could be uniquely my own, and not really indicative of any kind of trend.
I will say this about New Mexico - the "New Age" vibe is far more noticeable than any "friendliness" vibe! NM is a different, otherworldly place: a place you'll not soon forget. The New Age thing, and religion in general I guess, is just not so prevalent in New England and the Midwest.
I like Design7's explanation, and I feel the same ... Many times the method I approach a situation will determine the outcome. It's only sometimes that I'm not given an option!
(sorry to pull up an old thread, but this idea that there are many unhappy or angry people in Albuquerque has been nagging me since my visit, and I just had to see if other people had the same experience)
I have found many in Albuquerque to be unhappy and even angry. There is also a culture of over-drinking, and that may be related to the unhappiness / anger part. Be careful driving, because there is a lot of "road rage" there too. And I certainly don't mean to paint with a broad brush, because I have met many generous and kind people as well.
(sorry to pull up an old thread, but this idea that there are many unhappy or angry people in Albuquerque has been nagging me since my visit, and I just had to see if other people had the same experience)
This seems to be our experience as well. We thought we were just jaded, but friends, and friends of friends who have visited reported the same thing. A couple of them are into new age karma/energy thing and they were fairly vocal about the "negative energy" they were feeling. Who knows
I have found many in Albuquerque to be unhappy and even angry. There is also a culture of over-drinking, and that may be related to the unhappiness / anger part. Be careful driving, because there is a lot of "road rage" there too. And I certainly don't mean to paint with a broad brush, because I have met many generous and kind people as well.
Also, I was only in Albuquerque for about a month visiting family ... I am a Vermonter originally from Ohio. Even though Vermont is the Northeast, and traditionally known as home to more reserved people (some may say rude!) - the most kind people I've ever met are here and the Midwest in general.
Having lived in the Northeast for 26 years (8 of those years in New England--Maine, NH, and Mass.), and in Albuquerque 23 years, I have to say I can't agree with you. I endured my share of rude, angry, and very unhappy people in New England. My own mood changed for the better after coming here. You should probably spend more time in Albuquerque before passing judgment.
Having lived in the Northeast for 26 years (8 of those years in New England--Maine, NH, and Mass.), and in Albuquerque 23 years, I have to say I can't agree with you. I endured my share of rude, angry, and very unhappy people in New England. My own mood changed for the better after coming here. You should probably spend more time in Albuquerque before passing judgment.
You should perhaps allow people to politely express their own opinions without being chastised or berated.
I guess people's idea of what is "friendly" differs person to person, however after spending my entire life on the east coast (much of that in large cities), I can absolutely attest to the friendliness factor here in ABQ. Living for 16+ years in Orlando, one might think the warm, fuzzy feeling you get while drinking around the world in Epcot represents the entire city, but it doesn't. My husband and I would walk by people in our neighborhood and say hi, only to be ignored. People look away or look at the ground. No smiles, no hello. Forget anyone trying to help you out. Good Samaritans? Few of them outside the theme parks. Coworkers are duplicitous, if not aloof and detached. Once in awhile you could strike up a meaningful conversation with the cashier at 7-11, but not always. My husband and I noticed a MAJOR difference in everyone's overall attitude the minute we moved to Albuquerque. We hadn't been in our apartment for 5 minutes before our next-door neighbor came over, introduced herself and invited us to dinner. We're on a first name basis with the postman, our complex manager, our priest, and a couple baristas at Starbucks. All in a few weeks. Everyone we meet goes out of their way to make us feel welcome and to help us adjust to our new city. People standing in line with you at Walmart will strike up a conversation like they've known you for years. I've never encountered anything like it and its such a refreshing change. I tend to believe that if anyone says people in Abq are angry and unfriendly, it is likely because they themselves are angry and unfriendly.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
