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If you are smart enough to go to law school then a few shop classes should be within your realm, seriously, you need to at least understand what you are paying for, and it might give you a little insight as to why mechanics charge what we do
I had a similar situation, although I didn't throw that much money at it, and I knew what they were doing before I let them fix it. Also, our van's (Dodge) transmission was working as good as new at 185,000 miles. Anyways, the check engine light came on and it was extremely difficult to find a mechanic who could diagnose it right. In the end, it needed $3000+ worth of repairs when it wasn't worth that much. We traded it in for a 2015 Dodge Grand Caravan. We got a great deal and couldn't be happier. That's what you should do.
I know people hate CVT but these are the type of issues that CVT can prevent transmission failures because a lot of people don't properly stop then switch to Reverse especially a heavy car.
If you are smart enough to go to law school then a few shop classes should be within your realm, seriously, you need to at least understand what you are paying for, and it might give you a little insight as to why mechanics charge what we do
It's the OP's hubby who's in law school. And if you've ever known a law student - they don't have time to breath, sleep or eat, let alone study anything else.
The OP would probably rather have him help out with the kids and household chores lol. Poor thing.
Do what most of society does...get rid of a vehicle needing infrequent repairs and buy a new vehicle with frequent payments for years and higher insurance. All to go through the same thing right when the warranty runs out on the new vehicle.
Well that's one heck of a first post! Five children under six. Wow! I will offer no automotive advice but best of luck to you and hubby and kids as you go through life!
This is how you get sucked in. Always thinking this is the last repair. When the next one arrives you say to yourself the same thing. It is like a gambler who keeps hoping that one more bet and he is going to recover all that he has lost. Dump it.
Has the transmission ever been serviced? Have you changed the fluid, or is the fluid level at the proper level? It could be as simple as the fluid not being at a proper level if there is difficulty in going into reverse. I would look for a good, reputable transmission shop, not a chain, to see what they would recommend with the vehicle, not a general mechanic. It may not be easy to find one, depending upon where you are located, however, but if you wanted to properly assess the condition of the vehicle to know if it will last for another year or so, that would be the way to go about it. Over the phone, the transmission specialist cannot really diagnose the issue, as a fluid check and road test would be the way to determine the actual issue.
It's difficult to know what to recommend, since you're going to need to spend several times the amount of a transmission repair to get another van that would be more reliable and functional. However, you may be able to find a newer model Sienna for $5-$6k with 50-60k fewer miles on the clock. Just glancing at CraigsList for DC, there's one with 120k on it for an asking price of $5300 with timing belt and water pump changed within 20k miles. If maintained, I'd be more inclined to negotiate on that vehicle which is newer and has fewer miles as it is close to the top end of the range of a new transmission in the existing Sienna. There's a one-owner with 128k for $5500, which would be a better bet, especially with a pre-purchase inspection (PPI) and maintenance records showing the big issues are handled, and that the transmission has been serviced. A van like that would give you a good few years of service, just keep up with the maintenance, until you are in a better position to buy a new family vehicle.
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All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
The bluebook value of the van is only something like $2800 AT BEST. It also has electrical issues as most of the interior lights stopped working. I'm so done!
On a side note, do you know whether the lights not working are due to burned out bulbs, or not?
If your light issues are due to a wiring problem rubbing somewhere in the frame and is shorting from time to time, that can cause all sorts of random problems such as false check engine lights as well as real problems with the cars engine control system.
If you have a wiring problem, it can be very difficult to diagnose, which is a way of saying you could spend a lot of money and never get it fixed. It also can be dangerous.
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Five children under six. Wow! I will offer no automotive advice but best of luck to you and hubby and kids as you go through life! 
electrical problems
