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Seek professional help, not from a bunch of strangers on an Internet forum.
If you are determined, you can conquer your fear.
When was the last time a heavy commercial USA airplane had a major crash with many fatalities? Last fatal one was Air Asia at SFO 1.5 years ago with 3 fatalities. Can't remember the last major crash on US soil. I can think of many worst ways to die than an instant death in a plane crash. But I know this doesn't help. Fly on a major US carrier, doesn't get any safer.
Good luck and I hope you take the next step of seeing and paying someone who is trained to help you!
But the purpose of my post was to get some tips on reducing actual flight-related problems, not my fear.
This is a completely separate issue which I have tried Everything for over the past 2 decades to no avail, as it progressed from bad to unbearable.
I don't think anything you do will have any statistical impact. It's beyond your control.
I second suggestion to book on newer wide body aircraft...
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAAN
While I do understand you and many other fear a plane accident, honestly, just live your life and dont live in fear. You never know when your last day will be and how you will die. There are more people that die in car accidents on the way to the airport than plane crashes itself.
That last example you listed of a horrible in air experience would be Spirit Airlines. Try to fly domestic carriers as they have the fewest listed incidents usually of air mishaps. If flying to Europe try to get a fly on a A330, 777, vs a 767 as those are slightly newer, but they are get maintained the same, since airlines would be bankrupt if their planes started crashing all the time.
Remember the pilot wants to live too, so they have ever reason to land as safe as possible.
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I've heard that some eastern US to Europe flights (especially west to east) sometimes use smaller narrow body 757 -300 aircraft. Although they're capable of flying 200 passengers west to east across the Atlantic, I think it'd be weird for someone with aerophobia to fly in a small 3 seat. Aisle. 3 seat configuration.
Alternatively, if you book a seat on the middle section of a larger wide body jet, you'd hardly even be able to see out of any windows. This might help you with phobia of being up in the air????? I don't mind a window seat, but I flew to Uganda on a wide body KLM Airbus a few years back and I was sitting in the back row of the plane in the center-section of seats and never saw out a window the whole nine hour flight. Might help ya to sit inboard?
Also, an added thing about flying West from Europe to eastern U.S. I heard some 757s flying that route west, in a strong, eastern jet stream, have had to stop in Iceland or Newfoundland ??? To top off their tanks to make it back to the east coast US. Something to be avoided perhaps ;0).
i am a nervous flyer, whom ironically has to travel for work every two weeks or so. this is by no means a laughing matter, but your earlier comment about people flying like crazy to make their corporate employers happy made me chuckle. i know, crazy that i am in this job.
it sounds like you are particularly afraid of the turbulence, which was one of my freakout areas as well until i realized that i was 30,000 + plus feet in the air which provides lots of "cushioning" for the plane to get knocked around without actually crashing. i am not up on all the details of the recent major crashes but i am not aware of any due to actual turbulence itself. the pilots seem to get themselves into more trouble trying to avoid it - as in that air france crash.
i also will always try to sit near the emergency exit, stats definitely show higher survival rates for those near emergency exit. also, when you sit down count the rows to the emegency exit. if there is a crash ( which there wont be), there is likely to be a boatload of smoke and fire, where you will be unable to actually see the exit and will have to feel your way there. tell yourself you will immediately abandon any material items you might have brought, just grab hands of your family and head for exit. sounds ridiculously obvious but i was in a bad car accident in a van HEADING TO THE AIRPORT (no joke) and when you have injuries or in shock you can count on doing something stupid like looking for a suitcase full of $10 t shirts when you are suffering major internal injuries. read that pamphlet in the seat to know where every exit is and how those life vests actually work.
where i am going here is to have a plan just in case of a crash. while im no psychologist, i suspect as someone with a moderate case of flying fear, that somehow control plays into it. so, for me, knowing what my escape plan is helps somewhat as it makes me feel a tad bit more in control.
agree with what others have said about flying major carriers. of the US majors i feel that only delta has their act together. i inow you dont care about this but their planes are clean and attendants the most professional. to me clean and professional is an indicator of service standards and pilot quality. i used to like american but since the us air merger everything has gone downhill. the planes are looking worn, just like the attendants attitudes. i feel the safest on delta.
i also look at the plane type, liking boeing as well with the exception being that ridiculous dreamliner. as a cyclist with lots of experience with carbon fiber parts breaking, i vowed never to fly that plane after i saw in a documentary the amount of carbon fiber used, along with the number of faults found with that plane. stick with models that have a long and solid flight record.
good luck, i empathize with how hard this must be for you. and you are being very courageous in bzttling your fear to visit your parents
Turbulence doesn't mean the aircraft is going to bounce around in the sky like a rubber ball. It's usually just a few minor bumps. The captain will usually slow the aircraft a little to lessen the buffeting even.
Modern aircraft are equipped with weather radar which can detect cumulonimbus clouds which are the type associated with thunderstorms and if they appear on the flight path, the captain will request a diversion around it.
As regards maintenance issues, the EU maintains a blacklist of carriers which are forbidden to enter European airspace. This means you wouldn't be able to book a flight with a poorly maintained carrier if they're on that list. See this link for more info: List of airlines banned within the EU - Transport (there aren't any US or European airlines on it).
As regards deranged pilots, I doubt if you're likely to come across one of those in your lifetime. Any pilot who displays suicidal tendencies will have his or her licence promptly revoked.
I'd advise you to sit in a window seat so that you can look out the window. I know it's a night flight, but there are still stars in the sky.
Virgin Atlantic which is the carrier owned by British entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson has podcasts which can be useful to help you conquer your fear of flying: FAQ | Virgin Flying Without Fear
I also have family in Europe. I used to fly back "home" every summer until I married my American husband. Some amount of trepidation was always there, but then I became a mother, and fear of flying became overwhelming! I shake, I sweat, I get tears in my eyes, I hold my breath, and all this just taxing away from the gate! I fear flying so very much, but the thing is, I do it anyway, and am always surprised, yes, surprised, when the plane lands safely! My mind is convinced that whatever flight I am on will be my last, and I do not breathe normally again until the plane lands. On top of that, my best friend is a pilot and my brother was a flight attendant, so I have dealt with their eye rolls and explanations - no help.
For me, it is a control issue. I am not the one walking around the plane, checking the structure, I am not the one looking at the mechanicals, I am not the one making sure the luggage doors are shut and sealed, I am not the one flying and making sure the pilot sees that flock of birds, etc. Lack of control over every aspect, and an inability to trust others with my life on an airplane is not going away, no matter how many "Fear of Flying" classes I take nor how many statistics are put before me. But, I have places to go and things to see in this world, so I still go.
I also would prefer train or cruise ship travel. Something about being on the ground already (or in the water, where I can swim). I can't fly, no wings are present.
In my own experience, drugs or alcohol are no help. I tried Xanax once, and I was so fearful, that I kept thinking that if there were a crash, I would be looking at the flames and marveling over their beauty instead of saving my family! I was so worked up that no amount of medication, nor wine chaser, was helpful. Not until we landed, anyway, at which point I was ready to sleep on the plane!
What I do instead (and I am Christian, so this brings me comfort, but you may have a different belief system, this is just what I do) - before I get on the plane, I have called my friends that I know will pray for me, and ask them to pray for me to be calm in front of my children. When I sit on the plane, I hold onto the cross that is on my necklace. I also have my locket necklace on, with pictures of my children, so if something happens, I can be identified. Then I place my passport in my pocket, also to use for verification of my body. I'm all about making things easier for my loved ones.
Once we start to taxi from the gate, I find a song on my Ipod (presently, it's You're Never Alone by Barlow Girl), put in my earbuds, and crank it up so I hear nothing but that song. I close my eyes and raise my feet off the ground so I can't feel any plane movement through my feet, then start praying until the flight attendants get up and walk around. At this point, whew, the plane is in the air and if something happens, the pilot has a chance of landing us. Until the FAs are up and around though, I am silently praying.
Though I may give the outward appearance of being calm the rest of the flight, I am not, but I can fake it.
Finally, I found that part of my fear is what happens to my family and pets if I die. Years ago, I made a will. Having control over this aspect helps. I also try to make sure that, if something happens, my beloved pets will be taken care of by someone that will love them. My home and possessions, I don't care about, but my family and pets need to be taken care of before I can fly. Not sure if this may help, but again, I have control issues, so it is important for me to find control somewhere.
Good luck. You aren't alone. Family awaits though, and the joy of being with family is worth the anxiety and fear of that plane ride. I know this.
Looking at the sheer number of planes in the air at any given time one realizes how illogical fear of flying actually is.Zoom out and this flight aware tracking map gives you an idea.Amazingly each plane can be zoomed in on to get current flight data info. Live Flight Tracker
Yes, it is amazing.
But my mind focuses on cases like Germanwings. What hand "cherry picked" those people to be in THAT plane?
My mind is a mess...and my husband is about to order the tickets and I think I am starting to freak out.
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I second suggestion to book on newer wide body aircraft...
