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I also have family in Europe. I used to fly back "home" every summer until I married my American husband. Some amount of trepidation was always there, but then I became a mother, and fear of flying became overwhelming! I shake, I sweat, I get tears in my eyes, I hold my breath, and all this just taxing away from the gate! I fear flying so very much, but the thing is, I do it anyway, and am always surprised, yes, surprised, when the plane lands safely! My mind is convinced that whatever flight I am on will be my last, and I do not breathe normally again until the plane lands. On top of that, my best friend is a pilot and my brother was a flight attendant, so I have dealt with their eye rolls and explanations - no help.
For me, it is a control issue. I am not the one walking around the plane, checking the structure, I am not the one looking at the mechanicals, I am not the one making sure the luggage doors are shut and sealed, I am not the one flying and making sure the pilot sees that flock of birds, etc. Lack of control over every aspect, and an inability to trust others with my life on an airplane is not going away, no matter how many "Fear of Flying" classes I take nor how many statistics are put before me. But, I have places to go and things to see in this world, so I still go.
I also would prefer train or cruise ship travel. Something about being on the ground already (or in the water, where I can swim). I can't fly, no wings are present.
In my own experience, drugs or alcohol are no help. I tried Xanax once, and I was so fearful, that I kept thinking that if there were a crash, I would be looking at the flames and marveling over their beauty instead of saving my family! I was so worked up that no amount of medication, nor wine chaser, was helpful. Not until we landed, anyway, at which point I was ready to sleep on the plane!
What I do instead (and I am Christian, so this brings me comfort, but you may have a different belief system, this is just what I do) - before I get on the plane, I have called my friends that I know will pray for me, and ask them to pray for me to be calm in front of my children. When I sit on the plane, I hold onto the cross that is on my necklace. I also have my locket necklace on, with pictures of my children, so if something happens, I can be identified. Then I place my passport in my pocket, also to use for verification of my body. I'm all about making things easier for my loved ones.
Once we start to taxi from the gate, I find a song on my Ipod (presently, it's You're Never Alone by Barlow Girl), put in my earbuds, and crank it up so I hear nothing but that song. I close my eyes and raise my feet off the ground so I can't feel any plane movement through my feet, then start praying until the flight attendants get up and walk around. At this point, whew, the plane is in the air and if something happens, the pilot has a chance of landing us. Until the FAs are up and around though, I am silently praying.
Though I may give the outward appearance of being calm the rest of the flight, I am not, but I can fake it.
Finally, I found that part of my fear is what happens to my family and pets if I die. Years ago, I made a will. Having control over this aspect helps. I also try to make sure that, if something happens, my beloved pets will be taken care of by someone that will love them. My home and possessions, I don't care about, but my family and pets need to be taken care of before I can fly. Not sure if this may help, but again, I have control issues, so it is important for me to find control somewhere.
Good luck. You aren't alone. Family awaits though, and the joy of being with family is worth the anxiety and fear of that plane ride. I know this.
Miskolci,
I seem to be your perfect replica. My fear too became completely out of control after I had children. I can't even let them touch me when i am in the plane which is kind of counter-intuitive because you would think I would want them close to me in such perceived "extreme situation".
But if they touch me, the fear of losing everything is so raw it becomes unbearable. I never fly alone with them, I always have my husband or my mom with me.
I have the same belief system and do the same thing as you described but sometimes I am afraid I am such a failure in the faith department that God is probably getting sick of me. ...:-(
I always prefer Lufthansa flights when I fly to Europe. Also, my choice is Boeing 777 or 767.
In my experience, turbulence is stronger during night flights, so I prefer flights over Atlantic earlier in the day.
Lufthansa doesn't own any 777 passenger versions (yet) nor any 767's anymore.
Their long haul fleet is the A330/A340/A380/747
On Turbulence:
"Many different things may cause turbulence, but each and every one of them is known and understood by pilots. Every day I fly, I expect a small amount of turbulence, just as I’d expect the odd bump in the road on the drive to work. Turbulence is uncomfortable but not dangerous. It is part of flying, and is not to be feared.
Different aspects of the weather cause different types of turbulence. CAT is an abbreviation for Clear Air Turbulence – the most common form of turbulence you are likely to experience.
Air tends to flow as a horizontal snaking river called a jet stream. A jet stream can sometimes be thousands of miles long but is usually only a few miles wide and deep. Depending on the direction of travel, our flight planners either avoid (into a headwind) or use (into a tailwind) these jet streams to cut fuel costs, as they can flow up to 250 mph. Just like a fast-flowing river swirling against the riverbank, where the edge of the jet stream interacts with slower moving air, there may be some mixing of the air which causes turbulence."
No, but it would be too expensive and it would not make much difference.
I am not claustrophobic and my problem doesn't come from feeling too crammed. My mind knows that if the plane busts, 1st class passengers will bust in just as many pieces.
What a great equalizer aviation is. :-) No differences in survival rate by class, as in Titanic.
Hey, at least you gotta give them that.
Though...to be honest, I am yet to hear of some private jet, full of super-rich and super-powerful people taking a nose dive. Hmm...
The age of the aircraft doesn't really have much to do with its strength. For example, the ATR-72 which crashed in Taiwan recently was only six months old.
Aircraft age in that respect isn't measured in years, but rather in pressurization cycles. Pressurization is necessary at altitudes in excess of 3,800 mtrs above sea level to counter the low pressure outside the aircraft. Oxygen starvation would occur at cruise altitudes if the aircraft was unpressurized.
The process of pressurizing and depressurizing subjects the airframe to a certain amount of stress which can be likened to stretching an elastic band and then allowing it to contract again. Over time, the number of pressurization/depressurization cycles will weaken the airframe.
With long haul aircraft of the type used on transatlantic flights, the number of pressurization cycles will be much fewer than those on domestic flights of just an hour or two. Therefore, an aircraft like the Boeing 777 or Airbus A330 which are both long haul types will last much longer than an A320 or Boeing 737.
If you want to equate it in terms of years though, long haul aircraft will generally last about 25 years. All of Delta Airlines A330-300s which the airline uses on transatlantic flights were delivered in October 2008. It's a similar story with other airlines which fly the transatlantic route.
All major aircraft manufacturers test their product to destruction and the video shows the test carried out on a Boeing 777 wing. The results surprised even the engineers.
The age of the aircraft doesn't really have much to do with its strength. For example, the ATR-72 which crashed in Taiwan recently was only six months old.
Aircraft age in that respect isn't measured in years, but rather in pressurization cycles. Pressurization is necessary at altitudes in excess of 3,800 mtrs above sea level to counter the low pressure outside the aircraft. Oxygen starvation would occur at cruise altitudes if the aircraft was unpressurized.
The process of pressurizing and depressurizing subjects the airframe to a certain amount of stress which can be likened to stretching an elastic band and then allowing it to contract again. Over time, the number of pressurization/depressurization cycles will weaken the airframe.
With long haul aircraft of the type used on transatlantic flights, the number of pressurization cycles will be much fewer than those on domestic flights of just an hour or two. Therefore, an aircraft like the Boeing 777 or Airbus A330 which are both long haul types will last much longer than an A320 or Boeing 737.
If you want to equate it in terms of years though, long haul aircraft will generally last about 25 years. All of Delta Airlines A330-300s which the airline uses on transatlantic flights were delivered in October 2008. It's a similar story with other airlines which fly the transatlantic route.
All major aircraft manufacturers test their product to destruction and the video shows the test carried out on a Boeing 777 wing. The results surprised even the engineers.
Within Europe, I can't seem to be able to avoid an A320 or a Boeing 737.
We must fly two more hours on a smaller plane from Western to Eastern Europe - and those will be one of the above. It's that part of the trip I fear most.
I haven't done this in 3 years and this fear has gotten much, much worse in the meantime.
Yes, it is amazing.
But my mind focuses on cases like Germanwings. What hand "cherry picked" those people to be in THAT plane?
My mind is a mess...and my husband is about to order the tickets and I think I am starting to freak out.
If you had more time you could take a fear of flying course, as it is go on the flight and rationalize if your times up your time is up whether its in a plane or a car or slipping and hitting your head in the shower.Perhaps your doctor could prescribe something to take the edge off your anxiety when the day arrives to depart.
I am aware I suffer from a mental disorder - a phobia, but I don't agree the fear is completely irrational.
Bottom line is I fear a plane crash horribly. The comparison with the cars is useless.
What can I do to reduce the risk of what I fear, or the risk of going through turbulence which triggers horrible panic attacks in me, no matter how irrational?
Any tips on reduction of risk, including turbulence risk (be it safe) would be appreciated - even if he reduction is minuscule.
I used to be afraid to fly (I still don't like it) and what I would do is ask my Dr for a couple of Xanax, he'd prescribe 1 for the flight up and one for the flight back. It helped.
The OP seems to recognize that this is an irrational fear, but it's not clear if she wants to get over it. If so, seeking out psychological treatment, possibly assisted with medications, would be the right move.
I the OP is mainly interested in a quasi-rational approach to the nearly nonexistent safety problem, there is one I can offer. It's possible to find out the prices of used airplanes. Year ago someone told me that certain carriers regularly command better prices for their used airplanes than other; those carriers are the ones known to have better maintenance practices. If you want to assure yourself that you're flying in a well-maintained plane your best bet may be to book your flight on a carrier that gets high prices for its used equipment.
(Needless to say, though, flying is so safe that this is really just a technique to convince yourself against all evidence and reason that by doing this you're going to be safer.)
I too cannot handle turbulence...if there's even the slightest bump my body goes to immediate fight or flight and I physically freak out.
About 8 years ago someone suggested I try lorazepam for flights and it helped so much. I have some flights where I don't even get freaked out and stay calm. It just helps ease that freak out feeling that's always bubbling under the surface when you're on a plane.
Take it before you get on and have plenty of water. Do not drink alcohol...that can increase your anxiety.
I've lived with a fear of flying for most of my adult life. At the height of my fear, I would do everything possible to stay off planes...I'd drive or take other ground transportation for hours and hours to avoid flying.
I also take Lorazepam when I fly and it helps A LOT. On the occassion when I've forgotten to pack it or if I take it too late, I feel my anxiety increase when I'm on the plane.
The things that bother me most are taking off and turbulence. I LOVE landing, though!! I understand how you feel, OP.
Besides the drugs, what helps me is staying in the moment and not allowing myself to drift off into "What ifs". I make myself think about what's happening at that exact moment. It's just turbulence. We aren't falling from the sky. We aren't crashing. There is absolutely no reason to panic, so why start? I physically make myself relax...one body part at a time. I take a deep breath and then I relax my shoulders, then my arms, then my hands, then my fingertips, then my legs, feet, and toes... force yourself to do this and stay in the moment.
Having said that, I try to avoid flying in cold weather (less chance of icing) and I don't really care for the last flights of the day because I don't like thinking that the planes have been worn and abused all day long. It's silly, I know, but it's my reality. Also, I will pay a ridiculous amount to fly direct versus flying with stops/layovers, reducing the risk involved with taking off, etc. Lastly, I'm very airline loyal. I avoid certain airlines like the plague. When I see an airline having many crashes or other issues, they are no longer options.
syracusa, I'm also a Christian. I did A LOT of praying about this...A LOT! Trust me when I say that God is not getting tired of you. He would have tired of me a long time ago! Anyway, as I'm stepping on the plane (right at the door), I pause momentarily and I touch the outside of the plane and I say a quick prayer. I truly believe that God wouldn't let me end up in a plane crash when I've worked really hard in overcomming this fear. As long as I continue to fly with this knowledge, I'll be safe in the plane. It may sound crazy to some, but I know that's true. Obviously, I'm still a work in progress, as I still take meds and I still get a bit anxious during take-off and turbulence. The difference is that now I don't let that fear stop me. I can't.
ETA: My fear isn't about control or dying. I have an extreme fear of heights. The idea of being that high up is terrifying! I don't fear the dying part of the crash...I fear the falling from the sky part.
I do this, too!! For me, it's children. If I see kids of any age, I feel much better.
Last edited by Cali Doll; 04-01-2015 at 02:37 PM..
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Anyway, as I'm stepping on the plane (right at the door), I pause momentarily and I touch the outside of the plane and I say a quick prayer. I truly believe that God wouldn't let me end up in a plane crash when I've worked really hard in overcomming this fear. As long as I continue to fly with this knowledge, I'll be safe in the plane. It may sound crazy to some, but I know that's true. Obviously, I'm still a work in progress, as I still take meds and I still get a bit anxious during take-off and turbulence. The difference is that now I don't let that fear stop me. I can't.
