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You may not be among those who do (and YOUR particular case is highly relevant to anything anyway, no one's case is) - but an increasing number are in that situation. It is ridiculous to deny this contemporary reality.
But Greater Boston is full of people who never left. That's what makes it so "insular" and "unwelcoming."
I also don't think the phenomenon of people moving to a place where it's easier to make it is new at all, and certainly not in the US. In 19th century America a huge part of the population had come from other countries to start over in this country, and a huge percentage of the native-born population and the immigrants pushed westward. Many, many 19th century historical figures were born on the east coast and ended up in the midwest or west. Lincoln moved from Kentucky to Indiana to Illinois.
It didn't end in the 19th century. There was a huge migration of black Americans from the south to northern cities between 1900 and 1950, in search of jobs and better treatment. Okies went to California en masse in the 30's. Springsteen was singing in the 70's about people from the northeast heading south for the jobs.
Between 1933 and 2008, New York went from 47 electoral votes (a slightly watered down function of population) to 31, Mass. from 16 down to 12. On the other hand, California went from 22 to 55, Texas from 23 to 34 and Florida from only 7 to 27. The population shifted.
First I know some people love it here and I recognize to each their own. This isn't meant to change anyone's mind. For me personally I find Boston incredibly undesirable. The winter is cold and long lasting. The hours of sunlight in New England are much less than Southern and Western parts of the United States. The city looks old and dirty to me. I personally am not enthralled by the history of Boston. It's nice to go to a museum about perhaps but to live and breathe it day to day offers nothing to me. I don't like bars, I don't like sports and that seems to be the basis of conversation amongst my coworkers. I think the T is very poorly designed and too crowded. The city is overpriced. I find it geographically very uninspiring and after a week of living here I felt I had seen all the city has to offer. I look out from tall buildings and see nothing but dusty brick facades and a low slumping landscape into the Charles River. I've been here a year now and as soon as I can find a new job I will happily leave. The only reason I came here was due to the lack of employment opportunities and having found a job here.
Though I don't feel interested in them, generally I find Boston full of nice people and has a strong employment market but those things just don't make up for the downsides I've mentioned. It also is a little strange to me everyone seems to have a little yappy dog in tow. It reminds me of Seattle, always damp and grey. Hopefully 2010 will be the year I leave.
Boston hell i dont know nothing comes to mind but clams & sea food i am not one much for the east coast in general so i am not trying to hate on any state or city that is located like i just said on the eastern seabourd. But this is a thread that will go on for centuaries i would amagine especially since it is a city that has gotten so much attention in the media since the departed.
Boston hell i dont know nothing comes to mind but clams & sea food i am not one much for the east coast in general so i am not trying to hate on any state or city that is located like i just said on the eastern seabourd. But this is a thread that will go on for centuaries i would amagine especially since it is a city that has gotten so much attention in the media since the departed.
The Departed was a good movie. I didnt realize that it brought a lot of attention to Boston though. Positive media attention or negative?
Interesting though as South Boston/Southie is changing so much from that previous image/reality.
The winter is cold and long lasting. The hours of sunlight in New England are much less than Southern and Western parts of the United States. The city looks old and dirty to me. I personally am not enthralled by the history of Boston. It's nice to go to a museum about perhaps but to live and breathe it day to day offers nothing to me. I don't like bars, I don't like sports and that seems to be the basis of conversation amongst my coworkers. I think the T is very poorly designed and too crowded.
Then you should come to Florida where there's no regard for history, there's endless sunshine, and everything is spanking new, and if it's not then it's covered in mold or orange rust stains from the crummy water, or it was blown down in the hurricanes of 2004. There's also no public transportation to speak of. No place is perfect. I hope you found your way out of Boston by now and that you're happily ensconced in some shallow and shiny new part of the country.
Feel free to tell us all how you really feel. May I ask if you area Bostonian or if you have been a visitor and if so how long was your visit.
I see by reading your posts as you are a new poster here that most of the posts have been truly negative that you have written.
I certainly don't think that MA is perfect as anywhere else but so many people bash MA but nobody gives a specific reason for their personal negative experience. Heck of a wide paintbrush.
People come and say the people are not friendly....A lot of people that are here "in" Boston could also be tourists. People are people everywhere..every shape, color, and personality whether friendly or rude.
It's interesting how often the generalization of "friendly" is made with respect to a particular city, but is not usually broken down into specific situations. There is the "friendly" that happens when referring to how out-of-towners feel they are treated when they come here, when they ask for directions, etc. There is the "friendly" that occurs when talking about people who actually live in a place, and how they feel they are treated or are able to interact with others when at places like the grocery store, or in an elevator in a building, etc. And then there is the "friendly" when considering the ease of meeting people when you're new in town and how easy or difficult it may be to actually have friendships and interactions of any permanence with them.
I have lived in Boston for 6 years (and counting), after living in NYC for 6 years and being originally from Miami. My feeling about NYC is that, yes, it was "easy" to meet people when out and about in places like bars, etc., and that you often found that everyone was from somewhere else, so because others were transplanted like you, that in and of itself was a starting point to clicking with someone else, i.e., you're both in a position of learning about a new place, getting acclimated, etc. Boston is an entirely different animal in that sense.
The majority of the people who are from here have lived here they're whole lives, have grown up with the same circle of friends, and continue to spend their time with these same people. There is also the large student population, but if you yourself are not a student (and are in your 30s like me), you don't share that common denominator that often acts as an anchor to sustain a friendship or even an acquaintance-ship with someone in that situation (sure there are older grad students to consider, but I think my point remains reasonably solid nonetheless). The other concern about the large student population is that MANY people who come here for school will leave after they are finished, making Boston a city of transients in that respect. Many have commented on the "standoffishness" that exists in Boston, and I'd have to say that, while people here are certainly friendly to out-of-towners if they were, say, askign for directions, etc., the majority of the natives here do not embrace people who are not from here into their social circles. I do in fact have friends here, but after an analysis of my social circle, it has occurred to me that NONE of the people who I consider friends are natives of the area. There are many variables to consider as to the reasons for this, but if it weren't for the fact that SO many of the people I know personally as well as the many posters on this forum continually find it difficult to break into social circles and forge the kind of truly embracing friendships I allude to, I might not make these statements as emphatically. I don't think it is a personal phenomenon, I think it is a simple truth about the social dynamics here. And by saying this, I am not in any way trying to provoke any locals to vehemently respond as to their reasons for sticking so closely to their childhood friends to the exclusion of others -- I'm simply making an observation, drawn from personal experience, verified by the personal experience of many others., and collectively evaluated over a long period of time. Of all the things that people find undesirable about Boston, this has been one of the most difficult things for me here. And this is not without my being "social" and "getting out there"; I've done my share of partying, engaging in new hobbies and all the other things you do when you move to a new city, and I've still found it to be the case.
Many have commented on the "standoffishness" that exists in Boston, and I'd have to say that, while people here are certainly friendly to out-of-towners if they were, say, askign for directions, etc., the majority of the natives here do not embrace people who are not from here into their social circles.
This post actually makes me feel really sad and nervous. My Husband and I are looking to move to the Boston suburbs from San Diego because we are having the same problem making friends and fitting in out here in CA! I was raised back east as a child, and my Husband is Irish. I was hopeful on our trip to the Boston area that we’d do well there because people were so friendly and approachable, and much more down to earth compared to California. However, after reading posts like this, I don’t know what to think. We are also in our 30s and don’t have children yet, so there are PTA meetings, or kids parties to meet people at or that sort of thing…. and I’m nervous that even if there were, we wouldn’t be let in to the social circle. We really want to belong somewhere so much, and have been hoping for many reasons that the Boston area/suburbs would be the place for us…. I really don't want to spend more years (10 in California so far) in a place where there is no community; or there is, and I'm not welcomed into it.... it's not healthy.
This post actually makes me feel really sad and nervous. My Husband and I are looking to move to the Boston suburbs from San Diego because we are having the same problem making friends and fitting in out here in CA! I was raised back east as a child, and my Husband is Irish. I was hopeful on our trip to the Boston area that we’d do well there because people were so friendly and approachable, and much more down to earth compared to California. However, after reading posts like this, I don’t know what to think. We are also in our 30s and don’t have children yet, so there are PTA meetings, or kids parties to meet people at or that sort of thing…. and I’m nervous that even if there were, we wouldn’t be let in to the social circle. We really want to belong somewhere so much, and have been hoping for many reasons that the Boston area/suburbs would be the place for us…. I really don't want to spend more years (10 in California so far) in a place where there is no community; or there is, and I'm not welcomed into it.... it's not healthy.
I wouldn't take that poster's post as the end-all-be-all. YMMV, but there are many people who move to Boston that are welcomed into various social circles. school is not the only way. there are adult education classes, various events, social groups (you can find them online, can't remember the site off the top of my head), and simply going out to bars an clubs. not saying it will be a piece of cake and you'll have dozens of close Bostonian friends w/in 3 months, but it isn't impossible unless you've got a horrific personality
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Yikes...
