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Cyn, I am glad that you were able to speak up to he authorities! You go girl!
Your daughter will understand, I am not sure you told her/ reminded her that you are HERE until your DH is here.
Wide awake at 4am again---worried about what my daughter was saying....what is in the future? I don't think ebay could bring in enough and yet there are not a lot of jobs around this area. My DH is going to require me with him full time anyhow right now...one day at a time.....Today is my DH's birthday. I am going to take him one of those big balloons that say Happy Birthday!
((((Cyn))))), as you so wisely say, one day at a time and as much as anyone may say about the wisdom of planning, ( which you're doing too), it's the present where we must live. Your DH is still with you, still very much alive and in need of your love and care, so you want to spend as much time as possible with him, care for him, give him your all, and share the love between you as husband and wife. No matter what the future holds, you will never regret one minute of the time and love you devoted to him.
So your family may not understand your not spending all your time planning for your future, and it looks like in their concern for you, they're thinking of your DH in the past tense, which hurts you although I am sure they don't mean to do this. But it's not about them, any stress they say they have about your perspective on your situation , it's about you and DH. Another thing that's easy to say, not easy to carry out when you're in the middle of all those burdens, but IMO the last thing you need to worry about right now is "stress" on your children over your desires to concentrate on caring for your DH while he is still with you.
As for the future, you can consider that if you and DH have been married for at least 10 years ( and my impression is that you have), when he passes, you will be able to collect his SS, and I don't think it matters what your age is as a surviving widow, you're still eligible ( you can check with the SS about this, and the details). You will be eligible for medicare when you're 65, so that will help with your medical insurance. Living simply, you may find that you can live on that and supplement your income here and there with ebay, if you want to, or something else that might present itself at the time ( you never know)..... you've likely thought of this, so you already know all this, and you'll be ready for it when the time comes. That time isn't now, DH is still very much there and needs your love.
I'm so happy that you spoke up to the doctor, and the other folks at the rehab facility about their lack of care to your DH! I hope that they will make sure he's well taken care of from that time on- they are more likely to do so when they know a family member is watching them to make sure they do that. Kudoes to you for having the courage to speak up, and I'm sure you'll continue to do so if the need arises.
Happy Birthday to your DH- I'm sure a Happy Birthday balloon, along with your presence, will cheer him up.
And take care of yourself, too, while you are at it. You need your strength to keep up with everything you have to do. (((((Cyn)))))
It's been a day of blessings......God has been quite busy with me! He is amazing at reminding me who is in control. I will explain it all later.
DH was not himself today, he wrote a note saying he made his goal of living to his 70th birthday. That was not what I wanted to hear but I'm sure just his situation makes him feel horrible. It will get better--it will!!!!!! I have so many wonderful things happen today by the will of God so when I can slow down I will tell about them but for now I just want to enjoy it!
It's been a day of blessings......God has been quite busy with me! He is amazing at reminding me who is in control. I will explain it all later.
DH was not himself today, he wrote a note saying he made his goal of living to his 70th birthday. That was not what I wanted to hear but I'm sure just his situation makes him feel horrible. It will get better--it will!!!!!! I have so many wonderful things happen today by the will of God so when I can slow down I will tell about them but for now I just want to enjoy it!
Halleluiah! When you have time...but for now Enjoy the blessings!
It's been a day of blessings......God has been quite busy with me! He is amazing at reminding me who is in control. I will explain it all later.
DH was not himself today, he wrote a note saying he made his goal of living to his 70th birthday. That was not what I wanted to hear but I'm sure just his situation makes him feel horrible. It will get better--it will!!!!!! I have so many wonderful things happen today by the will of God so when I can slow down I will tell about them but for now I just want to enjoy it!
That's such a great thing to hear! Some good things coming along, enjoy, enjoy!
I check in 3 times a day to see how your DH and you are doing. Right before my bed time I check in, first thing in morning and during the day. This is good news to me and I will sleep better knowing many blessings are enjoyed by you today and I hope this extends into the future.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat
It's been a day of blessings......God has been quite busy with me! He is amazing at reminding me who is in control. .. I just want to enjoy it!
Take the few minutes of 'treasured joy time' and enjoy it.
Glad I share a BD with your DH, tho I spent it alone 11,000 miles away from my dear family. (Missing a reunion too, first in 12 yrs).
Quote:
Now I just got off the phone with Amber--she is in tears because she is worried about what I am going to do in my future. She says I am to stubborn and it makes it hard on her and her brother---oh my I just wish they would allow me a little time to get things figured out. My DH is still alive...
They are just trying to help you in best they know how (looking out for you). Just let them know you will be fine, and their best support at this time is to allow, support, and encourage you to help DH. Time is well spent, and you will have PLENTY of time later to get your own minor details addressed.
Reduce stress and worry, spend what you need to to bridge this season. Not all in life can be planned perfect. Just get through it!
Our best to you.
Let the kids 'guidance' roll off you like water, and not penetrate at this moment. Let them know when they offer a word or help that eases your day, rather than to complicate it!
Cyn, there is nothing that I can add but I want you to know I have held you and your husband in prayer. Y'all are in several prayer groups whom take the business of prayer very seriously. Needless to say you and your husband are in my prayers and have been for a very long time.
Life is a cycle which we ultimately have no control over. Rest assured, and you know that you have gone way above the call of duty to which your so honorably carry on day after day.
Everything you are feeling, anger, grief, deep deep, sadness, sleepless nights and the helplessness are unavoidable. My dear lady you are a warrior and an angel in our cold, cruel and heartless world in which we all must dwell.
Dearest Cyn, the hourglass is of time is not our friend, it is the double edged sword which shows no mercy, but it is also gives peace to us who are weary and brokenhearted when the pain is too much for us mortal souls to bare.
Always know that within the depths of your inner being, you will instinctively know how to handle all setbacks and that God will always have you and your husbands well being taken care of.
It may seem like lifes daily struggles are unfair and yes it is! We cannot escape our destiny, but you are doing everything right!
I wish I coup take away the sorrow and pain for you and your husband, but I can't.
In closing just remember all of us here on CD care and worry about you and will alway be by your side in spirit.
Your post was really beautiful Stephanie...everyone's posts are so wonderful. Very caring and you will never know how helpful.
Yesterday the breaks on this older Honda car my DH's son has loaned us while he is selling my truck started sounding like metal rubbing metal every time I stopped. They have been making weird sounds since day one but this sounds bad. I was telling my girlfriend who lives about 1/2 hour away--the one we originally stayed with until we found our home and she called me back to tell me her neighbor was going to put new breaks on for me and it would not cost me anything. I was so suprised but very grateful especially with the long drives I do daily. Then I stopped by the salon my hairdresser owns to see if I could possibly just get a color on my hair--nothing extra--and she set me up for an appointment on Tuesday and said it was on her! My neighbor from the end of our street stopped by last night to see how I am and how my DH is doing and he is coming by today to bring me some fresh tomatoes---wants to be sure I am eating! Smile. So yesterday was a day of blessings. I am very grateful! Now It is raining so I'm hoping it stops so I can get over to visit with my DH and that today his spirits will be better. The last 2 days have been bad--very depressed. I need to get over to cheer him up rain or shine! Just will take my time.....
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He is amazing at reminding me who is in control. I will explain it all later. 
