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We are working on tidying up Mom and Dad's finances in preparation for placing dad in a home. Friday we are hoping to meet with a Financial planner at USAA bank. Our goals are: 1) protect from Fraud/theft (she is never sure who she pays how much and is increasingly confused about money) 2) Consolidating accounts since she seems to have too many. 3) and deciding if it is worthwhile to pay off their mortgage in full.
So my specific question is one that an ordinary financial planner might not know about:
Long ago, Mom was advised to have her own checking account and her own credit card so she would be protected i.e have her own credit score if something happened to him. She is adamantly clinging to these, even though Dad is no longer able to do any banking and is certainly not capable of divorce. Her social sec. is deposited into her account. His social Sec and govt pension are deposited into their joint account. She also has a few investments in her name that she inherited from family members.
We are wondering IF, in the tangled web of paying for long term care, will it matter if the money is in her name or his or joint accounts? If he is in care for a long time, Will she have to spend every penny they BOTH have before Medicaid kicks in?
You may benefit from seeing an Elder Law Attorney. He/she would probably know more about your families' needs as opposed to a financial advisor at the bank.
We are working on tidying up Mom and Dad's finances in preparation for placing dad in a home. Friday we are hoping to meet with a Financial planner at USAA bank. Our goals are: 1) protect from Fraud/theft (she is never sure who she pays how much and is increasingly confused about money) 2) Consolidating accounts since she seems to have too many. 3) and deciding if it is worthwhile to pay off their mortgage in full.
So my specific question is one that an ordinary financial planner might not know about:
Long ago, Mom was advised to have her own checking account and her own credit card so she would be protected i.e have her own credit score if something happened to him. She is adamantly clinging to these, even though Dad is no longer able to do any banking and is certainly not capable of divorce. Her social sec. is deposited into her account. His social Sec and govt pension are deposited into their joint account. She also has a few investments in her name that she inherited from family members.
We are wondering IF, in the tangled web of paying for long term care, will it matter if the money is in her name or his or joint accounts? If he is in care for a long time, Will she have to spend every penny they BOTH have before Medicaid kicks in?
Is there anything else I have missed?
I also recommend seeing an elder law attorney.
If your mother is confused about her finances, why not have your parents put you on their accounts as a signer. You can then take over paying her bills and reconciling bank statements etc. I would never let an outside organization handle my parents money without me being the signer on the account. My husband does this for his mother who is now slightly confused and losing some of her sight. It wasn't easy for his mother to relinquish this to him, but she did. She's a bit stubborn.
Consolidating accounts and paying off the mortgage may be a good idea, but without specific knowledge, I leave that to you and the professionals to figure out. I was also advised to keep credit cards in my name. I don't see this as a problem. Perhaps I don't understand your point.
Regarding Medicaid. There are eligibility requirements that must be met. Part of this is income based. As your father receives a pension and social security and your mother receives social security, this could be an issue in eligibility. You can Google medicaid eligibility and read about it. As far as accounts, your parents are married and even though your mother has her own account, its still marital assets to my knowledge. And it may be that her inheritance could also be considered marital assets. Something else to talk to an attorney about.
But know this, if your father does receive Medicaid, they can and will go after his estate and look to be paid back for specific things. Your mother can not sell property or try to hide anything as they have a look back period and will seriously go find it and take it, even if it was sold or transferred. I'm not implying that anyone has any intentions of doing this, but I thought it important for you to know. People used to sell or transfer property and money to hide it in order to receive these benefits. They have closed that loophole.
Unfortunately, health care for elderly can be very expensive and can cause financial hardships. That is why they have long term care insurance policies.
Hope all works out for your family. I'm no expert on the above issues. I'm glad you are helping to sort things out.
I wouldn't do anything major like pay off a mortgage right now. Your mom may need money one day for home health aides, etc. If all she has is her home, she will not have money for her own needs. If you haven't already gotten a financial and health care power of attorney, bring that up with the attorney as well, especially if she is getting confused with money. It will be much harder to get one later if she is not of sound mind - do it now while she can still legally agree to it and sign legal documents. The other poster is correct, you should be speaking to an elder care attorney, not a financial planner - it is too late for a financial planner to do anything at this point to protect your family's money (it needed to be done 5 years before he applies for Medicaid) and the lawyer will also know the financial ins and outs, anyway. The social worker at the home your dad is going to will also be very experienced with your situation and may be a good resource for you.
You may benefit from seeing an Elder Law Attorney. He/she would probably know more about your families' needs as opposed to a financial advisor at the bank.
If your mom is confused about paying bills, then you need to step in and handle this. And, I don't see a need in having two accounts. But your mom might have to be brought along a bit at a time. Make sure she pays her taxes!
Remind her that it would be a great relief is she isn't not burdened with paying bills. If you get POA, which you should do if you handle her finances, then you can handle everything directly.
I agree about not paying off the house. They will not be living in it much longer, most likely. I don't see the need, but talk to the bank guy and an attorney before making that decision.
I've done bill paying for my mom for over seven years now. What has made it much easier was using electronic bill pay. I recommend using that if you end up doing this.
While you are at the attorney's office, be sure to discuss the will or estate planning, and go over the pertinent forms for medical power of attorney or Advanced Directive. Be sure to read everything well. The new standard phrasing in the MO Advanced Directive seems to give one's designated Medical rep no say in when to shut off life support. We rejected that in our directives, and kept the old wording.
Since your mom is confused, you need to have her looked at by a doctor. You want to know what is going on, if she is suffering with dementia. You need a diagnosis, because you want to be able to think about the future.
I concur with everyone who advised seeing an Elder Law Attorney. Rules on Medicaid, etc. vary from state to state.
Meet with an Elder Law Attorney before doing anything.
I did that first. I helped Mom establish a Revocable Living Trust. Her 2 bank accounts and 2 parcels of property were in it. That was a smart thing to do.
This was in 2008. My Mom just passed a few months ago this year. In May of 2013.
In hindsight, the two things I would have changed was
1. Not trying to rent/sell her primary home when she moved in with us. I would have let it foreclose ASAP.
She had borrowed on it, no value, it needed work.
I regret fixing it up to rent for 6 months only to put it for sale for quite some time before letting it go to foreclosure.
2. Overbuying incontinent supplies from Amazon subscribe and save. The supplies outlived her.
The things that I think made sense regarding my Mom:
Finding and buying a wall crypt (her wishes) for her burial from a private party. I saved her between 6-12K on that deal.
Finding her Residential Care Homes to reside in. The care was custodial and the monthly fee she paid was in line with her income.
Tracking her disease was key in timing how much longer she would be alive. This was key.
Ignoring the Doctors who wanted to treat her when she qualified for Hospice care. Very Important.
Keeping her enrolled in her Former's Employer's Group Insurance for her Medical was also wise.
I did utilize her credit cards (online) to use to float a little debt to avoid monthly banking fees on her main checking account...
Very rough watching her declines, you need to be on top of all of the finances.
I kind of also regret the Mobile Dentist, but I wanted to see her with her sweet clean smile. I just did not expect her teeth to turn brown upon her dying process while she was on Hospice.
But I have some very nice pictures of her smile, so I think that was okay to do for us...
I also prepaid her funeral expenses and saved her money on that.
Her monthly income was $2400.00 per month. I did a lot of juggling, but she was never in "real" debt.
Last edited by Mugsy; 09-04-2013 at 09:16 PM..
Reason: typo
I forgot to add: shop at the thrift store for their blankets, and clothes!
Get shoes new...if they can still walk.
My Mom forgot how to walk after 2 years of AD.
I still had her wear shoes for pivots and transfers during outings though.
Overall, if I had to get dementia I would have lived how my Mom went through it. She went through it with minimal suffering, I tried to make the best of it.
I took her to Smash burger, sippy cup included, it worked for her.
So i've decided to stop putting this off....while looking for a financial planner who knows about elder care i stumbled upon a fantastic looking elder care lawyer. I may have procrastinated some more, but he was persistent about contacting ME. he called me at 9pm and gave me 45 minutes of free advice. He has been specializing in elder care for 15 years in my parents' city. He floored me by answering questions I hadn't asked yet. He knew exactly what our situation is and what we would need to do.
i got so excited I made an appointment for Friday, then called my brother. He was mad taht I had ignored his suggestion to use his financial planner. he yelled at me for the first time in about 30 years. so i called my mom to pout and although she was drunk at the time, i learned something; she can't bear to have us fight. So now whenever I need her to do something, i can tell her that he and i disagreed about it and if she takes care of it we will no longer have anything to argue about! (i am nothing if not creative)
Brother is super sensitive and takes everything so personally. He called me once because he was angry that we did not act more upset that dad has Alz. I told him we all grieve in our own ways.
Anyway, Im so psyched about seeing this lawyer, if my brother or mom flake out i'm going by myself and i'll pay for it myself also. but they have both said they will go.
how many times have people told me I needed an elder care atty? A gajillion, and i was intimidated by the prospect. Now I think he is the answer to all my anxiety dreams!
Thank you for the support
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