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Yes, I read it. Suppose the drugs had been available to her when she thought she needed them "Decades" ago?
That's when the trouble started. Making them unavailable now, doesn't help her.
If a person thinks they are in horrible pain. Who are we to tell them that they aren't? And does she REALLY want to live alone? Maybe the situation of living with relatives is her desire.
My first question is why does or did she start taking the pills? How old is she and is she terminally ill? I think you need to give more background info.
Rehab is appropriate for most but if she is extremely ill and elderly it may be better to just make sure she gets her pills.
All these people who think they know exactly what the op should do. Amazing. I asked her age. That is important to know. Psychiatric treatment? Suggested by which physician? Hmmm................... I've lived with pain for many years and unless others have done the same, they need to keep quiet.
I need help on dealing with my elderly mother. She has had an addiction to pain pills for decades. She has not only a few prescription, she also gets the pills from the "street" or friends and family. Many people have enabled her. Now she is living with me and I will not enable her. She is angry, moody, mean, and causing a lot of stress for me and my family. It has only been one week and I already want her out. Any suggestions on how to cope with her and hopefully get a normal life back?
How old is she? My first response is that if she is truly in pain, why cut them off? Honestly, depending on age, even if she isn't in pain but they help her cope and live, its not the worst thing. If shes 75, let her be, but if shes 55, then maybe you will need to take action.
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
I hope you haven't cut her off completely. Withdrawal is not only unpleasant, it can be extremely dangerous.
Excellent point and there is no need for it. As someone else said there are drugs like Suboxen that will mitigate the withdrawal symptoms.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caligula1
If it's opiate addiction she wont be able to ever
use an opiate based pain med ever again
This part isn't universally true in my experience. Yes, some people will be unable, but most will be able in certain situations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors
The lady is doctor shopping AND using street drugs.
Did you understand what she wrote? She's not using street drugs, shes buying her pills off the street. Those are hugely different situations. However, it does raise a good point that if you make things too bad for her she may start using street drugs, namely heroin. Many current addicts started with pain pills and then got started on heroin because its cheaper and generally more readily available.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow
My first question is why does or did she start taking the pills? How old is she and is she terminally ill? I think you need to give more background info.
Rehab is appropriate for most but if she is extremely ill and elderly it may be better to just make sure she gets her pills.
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3
All these people who think they know exactly what the op should do. Amazing. I asked her age. That is important to know. Psychiatric treatment? Suggested by which physician? Hmmm................... I've lived with pain for many years and unless others have done the same, they need to keep quiet.
lol, the owner of the Internet has spoken. This may be a shock to you, so sit down. When you come to an Internet forum and ask opinions about what to do, you will get all kinds of answers. Despite that you think you are the only one who can offer opinions, all opinions can be valuable to the OP. There are no certifications or qualifications to post here. Everyone is a doctor or an engineer, or used to be. Why don't you let her take it all in and then decide what makes sense k?
I need help on dealing with my elderly mother. She has had an addiction to pain pills for decades. She has not only a few prescription, she also gets the pills from the "street" or friends and family. Many people have enabled her. Now she is living with me and I will not enable her. She is angry, moody, mean, and causing a lot of stress for me and my family. It has only been one week and I already want her out. Any suggestions on how to cope with her and hopefully get a normal life back?
Sounds just like my mom, her pain pill addiction has caused her to do stupid things with money and caused her to lose her house, she pops Vicodins 3 at a time and gets in the car and drives. She will not listen to me or my brother, it's a miracle she is still alive, she could put Keith Richards to shame.
Help your Mom arrange her next appointment with her primary care doctor. And then call ahead, and speak with the doctor and warn them that there are some issues with her current pain medicine use that you admit are long standing and concerning. If possible, let the doctor know how much you think she has been taking. Ask them to be discrete (and not "tell" on you) and to please help your Mom.
I promise you her doctor has seen this before. Likely your Mom has some underlying psychiatric issues that require treatment. This will be hard, but time for this to stop. I am hoping that your Mom has a decent doctor willing to put in the time.
HOWEVER, if she really does have pain, she absolutely needs to have a doctor helping her treat this pain. She will likely need physical therapy, psychiatry, and her primary care doctor.... but may also require a pain specialist as her primary care doctor may not feel comfortable prescribing her pain meds anymore. Absolutely she should not stop cold turkey. Get to the doctor soon to get their advice.
You need to tell your family to STOP giving her medicine. Her friends too.... but they will likely "tell" on you. So wait for the doctor to initiate the process so that she can direct her anger at the doctor.
But you should also tell her.... my house... my rules...
Good luck.
Great advice....from someone who probably doesn't know jack about chronic pain
You've probably experienced some pain in your life, maybe a broken arm, toothache, postpartum, and think you know all about pain. Chronic pain is different----you can't possibly understand it until you've lived with it, day in and day out.......knowing there is no end in sight, just perhaps some days easier than others. What's the problem with taking pain pills for pain? Is there something wrong with wanting relief/ Just for your information, pain pills don't totally relieve pain, they only make it more tolerable. And yes, one does develop a tolerance to pain pills, and needs more for the same effect. so what? What's the big, fat deal? So maybe I need more pills than I did 10 years ago to be able to function, what's it to you? Pain is not a symptom of moral or character weakness. Its not something you can talk your way out of. Many chronic diseases simply can't be cured, and can only be controlled to a certain extent. I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, and no, I'm not overweight, 'm not lazy, its not in my head and a control mechanism for others---I wish those who believe such could just take a look at my x-rays, my crumbled spine, my deformed feet, my shoulders that can't rotate due to bone damage, then tell me its all about attitude.
Don't judge until you have literally walked in my shoes....for the decades I have done so. There's a world of difference between short term, acute pain, and long-term, chronic, intractable pain. We of the later category should only be judged by a jury of our peers
Great advice....from someone who probably doesn't know jack about chronic pain
You've probably experienced some pain in your life, maybe a broken arm, toothache, postpartum, and think you know all about pain. Chronic pain is different----you can't possibly understand it until you've lived with it, day in and day out.......knowing there is no end in sight, just perhaps some days easier than others. What's the problem with taking pain pills for pain? Is there something wrong with wanting relief/ Just for your information, pain pills don't totally relieve pain, they only make it more tolerable. And yes, one does develop a tolerance to pain pills, and needs more for the same effect. so what? What's the big, fat deal? So maybe I need more pills than I did 10 years ago to be able to function, what's it to you? Pain is not a symptom of moral or character weakness. Its not something you can talk your way out of. Many chronic diseases simply can't be cured, and can only be controlled to a certain extent. I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, and no, I'm not overweight, 'm not lazy, its not in my head and a control mechanism for others---I wish those who believe such could just take a look at my x-rays, my crumbled spine, my deformed feet, my shoulders that can't rotate due to bone damage, then tell me its all about attitude.
Don't judge until you have literally walked in my shoes....for the decades I have done so. There's a world of difference between short term, acute pain, and long-term, chronic, intractable pain. We of the later category should only be judged by a jury of our peers
Well, I actually gave quite good advice. Did you actually read it? Go back, read it again carefully, and then tell me I was not trying to help her mother.
This post is not about you.
Of course chronic pain is real. Of course people develop tolerance to opiods over time, which is what you are describing. Of course that is normal, and of course you should increase your dose when you need more. That is not addiction. That is tolerance. If that is your situation, that is common. We are not judging you for that. In fact, I am very sorry to hear that you have chronic pain because it truly sucks. But do you get your pills on the street, from your friends, from your family rather than from your doctor? If you do, than that is NOT legal and NOT a reasonable way to treat pain. THAT is addiction. And THAT is what this thread it about.
Of course addiction is not the end result for everyone who uses strong pain medication.... there is clearly a genetic component, and a modifying psychiatric component that increases the chance of addiction. And people who have true, severe pain, are much less likely to develop addiction. Risk factors for addiction include a family history of addiction (street drugs, alcohol, prescription drugs, smoking), psychiatric illness (depression, bipolar, OCD, ADD, schizophrenia), age between 18 and 45, history of childhood sexual abuse. And actually, I think much addiction is unfortunately self-medication due to poorly treated mental illness. There is little blame in my heart for those with mental illness, let me tell you....
Of course, much of society is ignorant about pain. And you know that, so I understand your frustration. But that is also why I am so disappointed in you Marylee. You should know better and have been able to see that my post was right and appropriate in this setting.
We are giving ideas to the OP, who is telling a story of medication abuse. Buying medicines off the street, using multiple doctors, and taking meds off friends and family for pain is illegal and is a sign of addiction. Could it all be BS and the OP is a cruel and insensitive and judgmental child that likes to abuse her mother by restricting her pain meds? Could the OP's Mom ACTUALLY have severe, chronic pain for years that ALL OF HER DOCTORS are ignoring so she is resorting to self medicating on the street, with meds from friends, with meds from family? Sure.... that's possible. Either way, the OP is not able to solve this problem. So my advice - deferring to her doctor - is the right thing to do. The Doc should be assessing her pain, evaluating if she is using her medicine correctly or if she is being poorly treated. No doctor is going to believe everything a family member says. A good doctor will start watching and evaluating on their own if the family gives them warning signs.
And by the way.... you have quite a bit to learn about pain yourself.
I treat patients with chronic pain. Neuropathic, inflammatory, cancer pain, burn pain.... real toxic nasty stuff. And I have cared for my parents, who have each had terrible pain - worse than you can imagine.
My father is partially paralyzed with chronic severe neuropathic pain from tearing his thoracic spinal cord and mulitple nerve roots, and severe musculoskeletal pain from multiple fractures and deformities with more metal in his body than in my kitchen. I am his caregiver and I am vigilant about treating his pain. His back hurts if he stands for more than 1 minute, his butt hurts if he sits more than 10 minutes, his feet and butt are often on fire. When he was first injured, for weeks his leg was torn to shred with the bone exposed and daily debridements. It took more than a year before the fractures started to heal and stabilize. Can you imagine the pain he has had, and still has? The answer is no.
My mother had severe migraines since she was 16, and then died from diffuse metastatic pancreatic cancer with multiple bone metastases. You know that's pretty bad, right? You know that is one of the worst cancers for horrible pain, and with bone mets everywhere in weight baring bones, it is hellish to stand... hellish to lie down... sometimes hard to sleep...
I became my moms caregiver after my dad passed a couple of years ago. She has Dementia and was just starting rehab for a broken hip when has passed.
She was taking pills for anything and everything. Up to 24 pills a day. Vicodin, cholesterol pill, Xanax, Allergy +++++ it was crazy.
It took a while...and working with her doctor....we worked it out. She just wanted pills...didnt matter what they where. Come to find out...it is a problem with those with Dementia and the like.
Finally put my foot down.........she now gets 2-3 VERY low dose Xanax to help with anxiety. THATS IT.
My mom is 77 and requires 24/7 help. Its harder on the caregiver. These 2 years have been very tough mentally. Luckily....she will be going to my sisters care in the next two weeks.
Stay strong...work with the doc.....and it will all work out!
I need help on dealing with my elderly mother. She has had an addiction to pain pills for decades. She has not only a few prescription, she also gets the pills from the "street" or friends and family. Many people have enabled her. Now she is living with me and I will not enable her. She is angry, moody, mean, and causing a lot of stress for me and my family. It has only been one week and I already want her out. Any suggestions on how to cope with her and hopefully get a normal life back?
OH no, sounds like my dad with benzodiaphines. He was addicted to Klonopin and xanax. Also my aunt was addicted to oxycontin (percoset) and vicodin. She is now being prescribed suboxen (SUBUTEXT) i believe is the generic version and its helped her to ween off the opiates/pain killers. Your mom's situation sounds similar so see if she can get prescribed suboxen.
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