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I'm curious why your father wanted you and your mom to sell the house that you just bought. Did he want your mom to give him the money?
BTW, if your mother "takes back" her ex-husband that is her business. But, I can see how that would effect you if you are sharing a house with your mother.
My mom has always worn out my ear drum over my dad's mistreatment, whining and whining over the way he is...yet is a doormat to his behavior. She has zero self esteem and I've always been her right hand, throughout my entire life. I'm sick of it. This is just an added frustration to things, because my uncle and I tried to talk my mom out of buying a house altogether and just rent in an apartment. She asked us for advice!
He also wants her to sell because we've had a lot of problems with the house. We've been in it just under a year. My dad hates where we've chosen to live, as he's always been the boss, telling us where to move. He's powerless towards the finances now and wants to tell my mom how to spend it. He's restless and has done this my entire life, in the middle of school years as well, we'd just up and have to move during one of his "manias". Before my mom got the divorce, my dad told her he was going to spend all the money how he felt.
My mom has always worn out my ear drum over my dad's mistreatment, whining and whining over the way he is...yet is a doormat to his behavior. She has zero self esteem and I've always been her right hand, throughout my entire life. I'm sick of it. This is just an added frustration to things, because my uncle and I tried to talk my mom out of buying a house altogether and just rent in an apartment. She asked us for advice!.
Perhaps, at age 37 it is time that you strike out on your own and stop being your mom's "right hand".
If you don't leave pretty soon I suspect that you will be tied to your mother forever, as she becomes older and may need caregiving.
BTW, would Mom have been able to buy the house without your financial help?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurplePeopleEater
He also wants her to sell because we've had a lot of problems with the house. We've been in it just under a year. My dad hates where we've chosen to live, as he's always been the boss, telling us where to move. He's powerless towards the finances now and wants to tell my mom how to spend it. He's restless and has done this my entire life, in the middle of school years as well, we'd just up and have to move during one of his "manias". Before my mom got the divorce, my dad told her he was going to spend all the money how he felt.
Wow, he's not even married to his wife/your mom anymore and is still bossing her around. Sheesh!
My mom has always worn out my ear drum over my dad's mistreatment, whining and whining over the way he is...yet is a doormat to his behavior. She has zero self esteem and I've always been her right hand, throughout my entire life. I'm sick of it. This is just an added frustration to things, because my uncle and I tried to talk my mom out of buying a house altogether and just rent in an apartment. She asked us for advice!
He also wants her to sell because we've had a lot of problems with the house. We've been in it just under a year. My dad hates where we've chosen to live, as he's always been the boss, telling us where to move. He's powerless towards the finances now and wants to tell my mom how to spend it. He's restless and has done this my entire life, in the middle of school years as well, we'd just up and have to move during one of his "manias". Before my mom got the divorce, my dad told her he was going to spend all the money how he felt.
Your parents are completely dysfunctional together.
I am being very serious here. Get counseling. Get yourself together so that you can afford to live on your own. Cut the cords. Save yourself.
It's very sad what untreated mental illness can do to a family.
FYI - my father's bipolar disorder was finally treated at the age of 70, and it has created a miraculous transformation in him and our family. He resisted it for years, and it was only the intervention of an experienced, geriatric psychiatrist that led to improvement. He only agreed to see this doctor because it was recommended by a doctor he trusted.
Both you and your mother would benefit from going to your local NAMI support group.
While it is true that you could not force your dad to go to a nursing home, but if he was living in your house you could tell him to leave.
The OP's dad is living with her and his ex-wife in the home that they own and they could ask him to leave and go elsewhere.
Oh yes, I realize that.
I am sorry ... I guess I wasn't clear/complete. I was trying (for once) to keep my post short and not spend time reiterating what you and other great posters had already said - with which I completely agree. I was only explaining what I know to be the limitations of 'power of attorney' - and the only reason I was doing that was because the OP must have thought that having one (or more) was somehow important in her situation or she would have not noted that in her opening paragraph. She did not explain why she felt that was necessary but I could not see the relevance of that announcement unless she thought she somehow had some major responsibility to her father as a result of holding that piece of paper in her/his name.
She can't use it to force him to do anything as far as I know. She can however probably get him out of her house - but my point was just that the power of attorney would have nothing to do with that act, or as you said, on making him go any specific place after that.
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