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It really does depend on the timing. The last time (three weeks ago) we went north we got to 495 at around 6:30 AM and took 495 East and it wasn't that bad. Most times, if you can get there between 10:30 AM and 2:00 PM it's OK too. If you can't time it to avoid either the morning or afternoon rush hour, you are much better off taking 17 North out of Fredericksburg to 81 North and then working your way back east again in my opinion. I used to take 495 West to get around DC but there seems to be more construction that way right now.
I can think of a few things more pleasurable than driving the Beltway...
Sticking an ice pick through my ear, drinking Draino and eating my own liver!
The last few times DH didn't listen my *MY* good reasoning it was miserable...the Thursday before Fourth of July was the last straw. We sat bumper to bumper for an hour before the split, around the beltway and for an hour on the south side...about SIX hours to get through it...NO accidents, just too many cars not enough road! As I recall we approached DC around noon that day.
We had time to get a really good look at the Washington DC area...good thing, because we'll NEVER see it from that angle again!
Another alternative, if you're headed well to the north of DC, is to take US 301 north from (I think) Fredericksburg. It takes you over to Annapolis and across into rural Eastern Maryland, and on towards Wilmington, DE.
My dear old dad lives in Eastern Pennsylvania. I drove up last summer to visit.
Smooth Sailing until I got past Richmond. When I got back on 95 there was a massive wreck involving an 18- Wheeler. Got past that (45 minutes or so) and then started heading toward the district on 95 North. Stop and go the whole way for no apparent reason. I stayed at a hotel in Rockville that night and once I got off 95 and started heading AWAY from the district on 495 (I think) the stop and go was gone and it was smooth sailing the whole rest of the way.
For my return drive I opted to take 81 down through Maryland, West Virginia and Virgina until I could pick up 77 in Virginia. Much better drive. Some people can't handle mountain roads but it was far smoother and less frustrating than dealing with DC traffic and it was also a lot more scenic.
Family in Canada suggested the 17 to 66 to 81 route -- think we will do that -- will save us in the long run.
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As I recall we approached DC around noon that day. 
