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Our family has been blessed and is celebrating the birth of our first grandchild who arrived just before Christmas. While he was a for "surprise" our 21 yr old son, he and the mom are working hard to be good parents and our little one is healthy and a welcome addition to our family.
It has been one week and we now are realizing our greatest fears with respect to our son's relationship with his now fiancee's parents. Since they are both students - they need us both to support them emotionally and financially until college is finished and they are better equipped to provide a home. Without describing the situation we are concerned about my son's rights as a parent.
While it won't be easy and we were told it wasn't a problem due to the mom's student status, I now think my son must pay for the baby's health insurance to make sure it exists. I also would like a formal joint custody agreement in place that gives him a legal right to participate in decisions, continue to have the baby stay at our home (which he now does with fiancee but her parents are not happy with it) etc... We do realize that it will mean he will pay child support, not something we really can afford in conjunction with tutition, living expenses - but it will be done.
So I guess I am asking for your suggestions for an attorney that can help us sort things through and only put in place what is needed. We want to make this distasteful (but in my heart of hearts know it's needed) necessary step done and over with - so I don't have to worry about every envelope that arrives in the mail that looks legal and the kids define their family unit just the way they think it will work for them-
BTW - there is nothing more special than Christmas with your first grandson . Feel free to DM me as well.
I think that unless they are married, your son's rights are minimal. The mom could take the child and your son would never know where they are. You should consult a family attorney, though.
I guess my OP was a long-winded attempt to ask for names of a family attorney that may have experience in this area since we are new to Charlotte. Thanks again in advance for any suggestions you may have.
I'd assess the relationship between your son and his fiance' before securing a lawyer. If they are truly to be married, it seems that a lawyer now would be a waste of money.
Plus, it may cause more tension between your family and the future in-laws...
Have to say I'm a tad disappointed with all the extraneous negativity on this post. I dont recall the OP asking for anyone to judge the sitution or the parties involved. While certainly not an ideal situation, it certainly seems all parties involved are doing their part to provide for the newborn's needs. That's a hell of alot more than I can say for countless other "surprise" pregnancies I am personally aware of.
In short, we have some great minds (and awesome resources) on this board. Let's save judgement for the one person who is tasked with making it, and provide some resources to help this family out!
OP-I agree with Native Son. This is a matter of flies being attractd to honey, rather than vinegar. If I were the maternal grandparents, I would view contact from a lawyer as a hostile move. Perhaps the first step should be to determine paternity. Dont try to do this covertly, as again, I feel it could be misinterpreted. Also maybe the best idea is to sit down with the girl's parents, and hash things out. This is a joyous time for you, as grandparents, and you want to be proactive in insuring everyone's best interests.
Disclaimer - I've never dealt with this issue personally. I'm a little confused...
a) Your 21 year old son and his fiancee live with you.
b) You are concerned that her parents will try to take away his parental rights
I guess I don't understand your situation. Did he sign the birth certificate? He needs to establish paternity if he hasn't already done so.
As I understand the law , grandparents do not have many rights in NC. Unless there are legit reasons why your son should not have paerntal rights (abuse or neglect) the other grandparents can't petition the courts to extend their rights or gain custody. Unless he is planning to break up with his fiancee there isn't a need for formal custody/child support arrangement. Of course your son needs to help financially support the child regardless of his relationship with her parents.
A lawyer may not be necessary and may cause more harm than good. Good Luck!
It seems you really want them to make this work and it would be much easier in NC if they just get married.
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. Feel free to DM me as well.
